Seems to be confirmed - it was number Two
The CCAA grew alarmed at all of the phone calls from agencies who knew specifics about possible new regulations and they have now halted all information exchange with agencies with the exception of LID dates.
I’m told that this is not about me and this would have likely happened whether I had been here or not as the information was on APC and most of the DTC groups and just about every forum out there. What specifically set the CCAA off was that so many agencies knew of the possible new rules and they apparently got very upset with the volume of calls and the same question from each agency.
I am going to ask that everyone be SUPER vigilant to protect your agency if information comes out. I will not be posting anything on the blog until I have it from multiple agencies. If you have information please email it to me instead of putting it directly on the blog or forum. If your agency is the only agency with this information and you put it out somewhere then that could get your agency in trouble. So, please email it or PM it to me, and once I am sure that several agencies have this piece of information I will then publish it.
August 29th, 2006 at 1:20 pm
With nothing more than LID’s coming out of china it seems the rumor mill has officially been shut down!
August 29th, 2006 at 1:23 pm
Wow. I just wish that leaky faucet could drop out one more detail and that is WHEN the CCAA intends to release an official statement re the new rules.
August 29th, 2006 at 1:29 pm
Now I will be waiting and waiting and waiting and then ring, ring, ring…
Hello, this is ‘your agency’… congratulations, it’s a girl!!!!
As if I wasn’t under a lot of stress already!!! Now I won’t know WTF is going on…..
I do not like this new way CCAA is keeping us in the dark.
8/24/05
August 29th, 2006 at 1:39 pm
Just curious - how do we know this is accurate? Did it come from TATER?
August 29th, 2006 at 1:39 pm
i mean, if no one knows anything about anything how can we be sure about this?!
August 29th, 2006 at 1:44 pm
Why do you think that no one knows anything?
August 29th, 2006 at 1:46 pm
Sorry, I mean the way we were shocked with the info about the last batch of referrals. If there is a tight ship at the CCAA, how do we know #2 is the deal? Seems that would be a piece of info they let get out. I’m just wondering why we are so quick to think #2 is correct if we have been so in the dark about most everything lately.
August 29th, 2006 at 1:46 pm
I really didn’t think anything good could come from any site that was based on “rumors” to begin with. Now we have all been punished and will be left in the dark!
It is things like this that jeopardize the future of international adoption.
August 29th, 2006 at 1:52 pm
waiting for Emma, I’ve got to disagree with that comment about “things like this…jeoparidize the future of international adoption.” I seriously doubt that any rumor site jeopardizes anything. This has nothing to do with RQ’s site (or any other rumor site for that matter).
You’re entitled to your opinion of course. Your best course of action, given that opinion, is just to not log on anymore.
August 29th, 2006 at 1:54 pm
waiting for Emma Says,
I do hope your comment was “tongue in cheek”…. ’cause I’ve seen you post here often. I don’t think I need to say more.
August 29th, 2006 at 1:54 pm
Some of this is starting to make sense to me now, piece by piece……Another thought our question for the group….Sounds like the waiting children are going to get some special attention/priority in the new proposed changes. This would seem to make many older children available quicker. My question….What percentage of people interested in the China programs do so wanting a child as young as possible? Or, another way, are these people still interested in a 5 year old? Will that have an impact on the number of dossiers submitted in the future? Know what I’m getting at?
August 29th, 2006 at 1:54 pm
Archer: ditto.
August 29th, 2006 at 1:55 pm
Then WaitingforEmma, why were you here? If that’s the way you thought, unlike the rest of us who were glad for information of any kind and the support of others in a similar situation, but you thought it was not good, WHY WERE YOU HERE???!!
August 29th, 2006 at 1:55 pm
Poking me with a stick isn’t going to make me tell you how I know this Waiting for LuLu. Suffice it to say that there is actually a good bit of information out there right now and I’m trying to put as much out as I can without jeapordizing any of my sources.
And, waiting for emma, I’m sorry but I do not understand what you mean? The future of international adoption in jeapordy? That seems a bit melodramatic.
August 29th, 2006 at 1:55 pm
Waiting for Lulu (or Jack) LID 26 July 2005 Says,
This information has been confirmed by my agency also.
August 29th, 2006 at 1:55 pm
I have a hard time believing that this site is why the CCAA is being quiet. They have always been quiet. These same rumors were on ALL the other sites. They are quiet because they didn’t realize with the internet how fast the information can get out to everyone. They are a communist country and are not used to the free flow of information. They have now realized this and are stopping information.
I really doubt that IA is in jeopardy because of this.
Just because China is a communist country doesn’t mean that we can’t share information and support.
August 29th, 2006 at 1:56 pm
Westwind:
Interesting point! Maybe worth a new poll.
August 29th, 2006 at 1:59 pm
sebago:
Thanks.
August 29th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Waiting for Emma: I stand to correct you on “anything good” coming from this site. First of all, it’s give ME and plenty of others a sense of some normalcy and a place to come to feel at home and vent. Without this, I don’t know how I would have made it through the wait.
I also have appreciated every little piece of information. If you want to take shots at ALL internet sites that provide information, whether rumors or not, then you’d better get busy, because they are everywhere.
And to reiterate what others have said, WHY ARE YOU HERE? If you don’t appreciate all the hard work RQ has done along with the sense of community here, then please by all means, click the little “x” in the right hand corner of your screen.
August 29th, 2006 at 2:05 pm
While I was eager to get ANY information from this site, I was more in need of the support and understanding from folks who were going through what I was. After the last batch of referrals, one of the greatest comforts was hearing so many of you giving us internet hugs :) Information, rumors, drink recipes ;0 are nice, but the camaraderie and humor from many of you means the most.
Thx,
M
August 29th, 2006 at 2:07 pm
First, I HAVE NEVER posted on this site, perhaps someone else is waiting for their Emma, actually I’ve visted it twice, this being the second time. I co-worker also adopting from China feels the need to brief me on it! I felt the need to respond to this, I did and will take the advise of a few and not visit it again!
Good luck to everyone and I hope all our babies are home soon! After all at the end of the day that is all that really matters…..completing our family!
August 29th, 2006 at 2:11 pm
Waiting for Emma…I really think everything’s going to be OK, and I don’t think any rumor site is jeopardizing the adoption program. However, the agencies, or perhaps the “leaky faucets” at CCAA may be in jeopardy if they’re not really careful. This site only gathers together statements that are already out there. It’s not RQ who’s leaking information, she’s just repeating it. I understand your fear and I think we all feel a little freaked out right now, but it’ll be OK. It has to be, for all our sakes. We can still support each other here, even if there’s less information to share. We will see our Emma and Emily someday (hopefully sooner than later) and this will be a bad memory. LID 9/29
August 29th, 2006 at 2:13 pm
i could soooooo make some comments. but I’m going to be a good little monkey and be quiet. :)
interesting though how all of a sudden we think things are just going to dry up around here. hmmmm
August 29th, 2006 at 2:13 pm
Well your “never” just exploded today….goodbye!
August 29th, 2006 at 2:15 pm
TG….if anything dries up, considering our habits and the new stress….it won’t be us! ;-) Just trying to find some more humor in a somewhat humorless day… LID 8-9-05
August 29th, 2006 at 2:17 pm
Oh I see now, we got our nice little Waiting4Emily confused with the other one.
August 29th, 2006 at 2:20 pm
i’m with ya smalltowngirl- :)
August 29th, 2006 at 2:22 pm
Things aren’t looking as bad as they were. It appears that some agencies were getting certain privileges that other agencies were not getting, and that is now going to stop. Sucks for the formerly privileged agencies, but will actually level the playing field a good bit for everyone else. And, it may mean that referrals can arrive several days sooner than they were. However, this will probably mean that some of the early information we were getting will no longer happen (at least for a little while).
There is actually speculation that the CCAA is going to do a big batch and then say it is because they finally got all of the phone calls asking them the same questions over and over again to stop so they could get some work done. (don’t anyone get your hopes up though, we’ll call that one an r1)
August 29th, 2006 at 2:24 pm
waiting for Emma Says: “I felt the need to respond to this, I did and will take the advise of a few and not visit it again!”
*** I feel better already!!! *****
August 29th, 2006 at 2:24 pm
Wrigsassy, you have hit the nail on the head in my opinion. The Chinese government isn’t used to the free flow of information. The have a huge amount of power in China when it comes to releasing information. It appears they have cracked down to gain control where they can. I agree that IA will continue and in a period of time, we may see the silence lessen a little. Maybe they will totally relax after the new regs are out-if they are coming.
No stress here.
August 29th, 2006 at 2:25 pm
Oh that’s funny RQ! That would work to get everyone to stop calling though!
August 29th, 2006 at 2:25 pm
Yeah, I think we have several variations of Emily and Emma around here. Funny, when we picked out the name years ago, it was kind of unusual. Now it’s like in the top 5 for popular girls’ names. I hope there aren’t too many in her classroom (someone voiced a concern about kids referring to her as the “Chinese” Emily). That has me a little concerned but I still like the name. TG, as always, thanks for the humor and level head. Love your posts :) LID 9/29
August 29th, 2006 at 2:26 pm
RQ, I was thinking the same thing - now they won’t have to answer the phones so much - so they can get back to work, work, work…..
August 29th, 2006 at 2:28 pm
If they wanted I would volunteer to answer phones for a while to let the get caught up.
Best Friends LID 3-27-06
August 29th, 2006 at 2:30 pm
Ack, I just deleted a comment with a huge link that made the screen go waaayyyy out. It was about the gender imbalance in China, which would be a good discussion to start on the forum, but doesn’t seem to be related to this subject.
August 29th, 2006 at 2:31 pm
Waiting for Lulu (or Jack), it was impossible to know who to trust when they had rumors or information. That is the beauty of this site and what RQ does. She has given an outlet for anyone to pass on the info to her without endangering their agency. She’s very straightborward about what is fact, what is rumor, and how credible the rumor is. That is why we choose to trust her when she says something is so. She developed her reputation the old-fashioned way. She earned it. If anyone doesn’t believe the information, that is their right as well, but be warned that most people are here because they do.
August 29th, 2006 at 2:32 pm
I can kind of understand why CCAA has decided not further restrict information they provide (doesn’t mean I like it, though). They must be getting very annoyed with constantly being asked about rumors. If they wanted to eliminate the constant calls from agencies, they had 2 choices: 1. Make a statement as to their plans and intentions for their program (including wait times, possible changes, etc.) or 2. Stop giving out ANY information. It would have been nice if they went for #1.
Another point, I truly doubt that any rumor site will shut down IA – now if the media did an expose like Bryant Gumble did on South Korea’s adoption, then that might be another story. The rumors sites (this one and APC or other yahoo groups) are well known to us who are in the adoption community, but they are not exactly the CBS nightly news or CNN! My non-adoption friends have no idea who RQ is! What I’m trying to say is that in the large scheme of things this site is not a big news maker that will embarrass China.
August 29th, 2006 at 2:33 pm
RQ, when you say it could mean referrals could arrive several days sooner…do you mean because they will work more efficiently with fewer interruptions, or because they don’t have to go through the advance communication with agencies they can just send them out ASAP? I just wasn’t sure what you meant, but like always am anxious to jump all over anything that sounds remotely positive. Sorry. Thanks! LID 9/29
August 29th, 2006 at 2:34 pm
Although it doesn’t make sense to “punish” the agencies/families through withholding future information–when clearly someone (or several someones) at CCAA had to start the whole thing by providing information–I’m not too surprised (more on that in a minute).
Maybe CCAA is regretting the decisions it has recently made about providing more information, and this is an easy way to “save face” and go back to the way things used to be. Through our first daughter’s wait (2000-01), we wished CCAA had a website. No one could even tell us what the place looked like inside. I envisioned a dusty desk piled with dossier files, a single naked light bulb dangling above and a uniformed official painstakingly reviewing every word. Our agency sent monthly updates, and that’s all we got. We didn’t even know our LID; our agency didn’t even ask for them. We weren’t allowed to visit the orphanage, no one had ever been.
Through our second daughter’s wait, there was a CCAA website with a few pictures, but we wished they would include referral information on it. Who is in review? How far did the cut-off go this month? Our agency started providing families with LIDs, now standard procedure. We visited her orphanage, with the correct provincial permission acquired. We had multiple pictures of the interior of CCAA from a family who visited.
During our third daughter’s wait, we had the CCAA website with the review progress and the cut-off dates, we were welcomed to her orphanage without official permission, we were allowed to take pictures of other families’ babies and videotape whatever we wanted.
All this to say: There really IS a lot more information available now than there was 5 years ago. I know that isn’t much comfort to waiting families. I’m just trying to make the point that maybe CCAA thinks this is a good time to rein in the horse before they lose complete control.
After making those 3 adoption trips, reading dozens of books on China, befriending Chinese people in China and here at home and spending time with them, I’m honestly not the least bit surprised that things are changing. It is a completely different culture, and as much as we want to look at it through Western eyes, we just can’t. I use a couple of examples our Congresswoman shared with me after her visit to CCAA in 2002. USBCIS (as it was known then) offered to send employees to assist CCAA with that year’s backlog of dossiers. China flat-out refused. The US has suggested many times that the US Consulate be moved from GZ to Beijing. Again, China said no, because they don’t want the US in their capital (capitol?) city telling them how to do things.
Sorry for the ramble. I’m really not trying to make anyone feel worse. I’m just offering that the more you know about China, the easier it might be to handle these bumps along the way. Try “China Wakes” or either of Peter Hessler’s excellent books.
Hope that helps someone.
August 29th, 2006 at 2:34 pm
I remember when I worked in a government office (not Communist, but some Americans might think we Canadians are leaning that way - haha), we spend so much time answering requests from clients and their elected reps. We often joked that if they stopped asking about their files we would double the efficiency of our processing time. Here’s hoping the same holds true for the CCAA!!
August 29th, 2006 at 2:37 pm
waiting4emily - I’m really not trying to be cryptic, but I’m sorry I can’t explain a whole lot right now. I’m putting out what I am positive that I can put out without putting any of my sources OR any one agency in hot water.
August 29th, 2006 at 2:42 pm
RQ-
Gotcha. Thanks. We’ll take what we can get, cryptic or not :)
August 29th, 2006 at 2:58 pm
Well what a crazy RQ-Day it’s been. I’m not even RQ and I feel exhausted (can’t imagine monitoring this stuff etc). I need a glass of cabernet… no… check that. I need a big glass of ice water and a multi-vitamin : )
Have a good night everyone.
Peace.
August 29th, 2006 at 2:59 pm
Hi, We really need to allow people to voice their feelings (waiting4emma, Lulu etc. ) w/out jumping down the person’s throat. We are not all going to agree all the time and that’s ok! It has happened in the past on this site (more then once) and this situation is set for it to happen again. We are all feeling many things…confused, angry, upset, frustrated, etc. and EVERYONE’S feelings are valid….PLEASE, let’s cut each other some slack already!
August 29th, 2006 at 3:05 pm
RQ,
Thanks for releasing anything positive that you can. I’ve been so down since the last batch of referrals. With the rumors of more restrictions, I have a fear of being turned down this far into the process. It would truly feel like a death in the family. We have imagined and dreamed of our referral day for so long, but lately it feels like it may never happen. If we only were told what to expect, then maybe we wouldn’t be so glued to any information we can get our hands on. And, please before anyone says China doens’t owe us anything, I feel they do. They owe us the curtesy of letting us know what to expect. We have been very honest and forthright with our financial, medical, and family information. All I’m asking is for a timeline that makes sense. I’m sorry for the rant. If we obsess over our children half as much as we do the journey to them, they will be loved and cherished indeed.
August 29th, 2006 at 3:07 pm
Postfarm — Doesn’t the PRC want the US to move its adoption section (if not the whole consulate) to Beijing?
I got a chuckle out of this. Per http://www.noblenet.org/reference/inter.htm...
In 1966, JFK(ennedy) said in a speach: “There is a Chinese curse which says, ‘May he live in interesting times.’ Like it or not, we live in interesting times…” The webpage goes on to state that Chinese scholars were puzzled by the quoted curse’s Chinese source and only heard it from Americans. It might be related to the Chinese proverb, “It’s better to be a dog in a peaceful time than be a man in a chaotic period.”
I am quite sure we are living in interesting times, although the curse part I am not so sure about. Again it points out cultural/political differences and how we approach “interesting” times in different ways.
I look forward to what comes next, and hopefully sooner than later.
K.
August 29th, 2006 at 3:08 pm
nikita,
waitingforemma signed up on the site and immediately made THAT post. She gets cut no slack whatsoever.
I didn’t see anything out of the way said to WaitingforLuLu. She asked questions, we answered her as best as we can right now. I’m not going to let someone goad me into releasing details I’m not comfortable releasing, and I think I let her know that in a joking way. If it came across as not-nice then that was not the way it was meant.
August 29th, 2006 at 4:04 pm
Hi, My post about all of us cutting each other some slack really goes WAY back to when there was discussion about weight restrictions and the reactions to those who agreed with it and then even last week when an obviously distraught woman posted about feeling sad that she (as a single woman) might not even have a chance at one child when others already…..and she was swiftly and mercilessly scolded. Yes, you had your post/rules about not making judgements etc.on the restrictions but not a few posts later someone else voiced her opinion about 2 parents vs. single and she “personally agreed” that two parents were better but that comment went right through (as in no “reprimand”)…which is fine as long as it goes both ways. This is a rumor site but it is open for people to voice their feelings on the rumors, right? (or at least is seems to always end up like that). If this site is only for those who agree with you (and that is certainly your right, since it’s your site ) then I’ve totally misunderstood what this is about. BTW, why would you say waitingforemma “gets cut no slack whatsoever”…because she made THAT post? Rumors circulate everywhere, not just here. Now, the CCAA is sick of the rumors so they are shutting it down. That’s the way it goes and it was “fun” while it lasted, right? Anyway, Waitingforemma just sounded frustrated to me.
August 29th, 2006 at 4:10 pm
Thank you postfarm I will look for those books. I’ve been looking for something other than “White Swans” to read which I read before our first adoption but just don’t have the energy now.
This is our second adoption with the same agency and through both they have repeatedly said its not good to ask CCAA too many questions…they don’t like that. Seems to me that the lack of future information is due more than anything to the fault of the agencies for calling CCAA when they should have known the calls would annoy them.
August 29th, 2006 at 4:16 pm
Nikita, I think we need to cut RQ some slack too here. I think RQ’s point was that waiting4emma just joined and immediately made a negative attack that could be seen as argumentative. I don’t think RQ has ever suggested that she doesn’t support postings that don’t agree with her. She is just trying to keep us focused on what this site is about, which is rumors and a place to vent and share, not attacking each other.
August 29th, 2006 at 4:19 pm
Nikita - I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve asked that we not bring those subjects up at all because when we do things get out of hand. I don’t believe I “scolded” anyone on that thread, I had forgotten to make that request and then I went back and did it before things got out of hand.
I do the best I can to create a spot where we can have constructive conversations about this stuff, and where we talk in an inclusive way as opposed to an exclusive way. It’s not perfect, but I never claimed it would be.
August 29th, 2006 at 4:28 pm
RQ, Thanks for all the information. It really helps me get through this long wait.
LID 11/9
August 29th, 2006 at 4:28 pm
Hi Mollysmommy: What, you can’t be “argumentative”? Actually, I think it was MY point in my original post, that we should stay focused on what I thought was what this site was/is about, which is, as you said, a place for rumors and a place to vent and share, without attacking each other. Thanks for reiterating that. Take care.
August 29th, 2006 at 4:32 pm
No Nikita, we do not argue here.
We do disagree, and we do it in an agreeable debatelike fashion, and many times we learn a great deal in the process. But arguing is frowned upon.
August 29th, 2006 at 4:37 pm
here on the pacific i always come in after the high drama is over…. *sigh*
kind-of good too, in a way. keeps me from mounting an ill-advised verbal attack (i remember going after the ice-cream-consumption=infertility chick quite fercociously! feeling sheepish now… and munching some chips, NOT ice cream…)
anywho,
i think one thing the CCAA should definitly do (and you know they’ve been waiting for advice from me!) is to just set a standard referral day:
“The 15th of the month, or the next business day after that date, will be referral day. That is the day we will update our site each month, and let the world know the LID date included. ”
Then, whether they did 2 days or 40 days of LIDs, they’d appear to have some consistency and control of the system, which, if they’re reading this, they might like to note, as those two traits are ALSO what good parents have (in addition to patience that is…)
:)
I’m sure it will get better.
And I believe that the more positive thoughts that flow out and infect the quantum field the more positive events that will occur there.
Best~
wBw
August 29th, 2006 at 4:42 pm
RQ – thanks for everything (for the good rumors and even the bad). I’ve certainly learned a lot since my dossier was logged in on (turned out it was logged in just one day after my daughter was born). I knew nothing back then – I was so naïve! I thought I would get my referral exactly 6 months later – I didn’t understand anything or know how the process worked until I found yahoo groups (this was all pre-RQ). The best thing I learned though was that I was not alone in my frustration while waiting (and I only waited 7 months for DD#1!)
August 29th, 2006 at 4:49 pm
So having thought about this new procedure from CCAA all day… I have realized that if I try to sign on to RQ and the site has crashed….”referrals are here”!!!
August 29th, 2006 at 4:51 pm
Hi To All!
I am a first time poster and have been on this site for months even through our vacations. Any info whether good or bad is better than totally being left in the dark…. Which we are all right now. I just received an email from our agency and they to said they spoke with their staff in China and said that their were no new changes as of right now…. But they will pass them on as soon as they get them. So I think we are all going to have to stay on the rollercoaster a little longer. I think I need double dose of dramamine….LID 2-17-06
August 29th, 2006 at 5:14 pm
Well, they say ignorance is bliss…..I guess we are going to find out. (Trying hard to be blissful) Not!
August 29th, 2006 at 5:26 pm
I am not much of a “debater” and rarely post, but I do enjoy the friendly banter that goes on here.
As for the new information. It is clear that the agencies were getting WAY too many phone calls from parents and were in turn placing too many calls to the CCAA. (At least that’s the way my agency made it sound in their email to us.) I just wanted to point out that I have never called my agency and I don’t feel the need to because of all that is shared here on RQ’s site. I wonder if there are many more, like me, who don’t make those calls because of the need that this site fills.
So… my point is, that in my case RQ did not at all contribute to this new silence. In fact, the people at my agency should be thankful that there is an RQ because otherwise I WOULD be calling them to ask “WHAT IS GOING ON????”
Thanks,
akina
LID 3/29
August 29th, 2006 at 5:30 pm
Grasshopper Dreams, maybe China’s opinion of where the US consulate should be has changed since I heard that (back in 2002). My info could be outdated. I couldn’t get your link to work though; I’ll take your word for it!
cmbj, I had to chuckle at your message. I think you meant “Wild Swans,” not “White Swans” (as in Adoption Hotel Central in Guangzhou). But what’s really funny is that’s the third time today, on 3 different boards, that I’ve seen that same typo :)
You’ll really enjoy the books! Amazon had some used editions of Peter Hessler’s. Our very tiny city library even has them, so you might check there first.
August 29th, 2006 at 5:42 pm
Oh boy, shows you what I know. I was thinking I’d like to read a book about the white swan !!! And also why I had not heard of it yet!
August 29th, 2006 at 5:52 pm
akina I am with you. I never contact my agency and ask them anything because I get all the information I need right here. My agency is pretty good at giving us information but only after it is fact so I am very grateful for this site.
Thank you RQ. LID 7/28/05
August 29th, 2006 at 5:57 pm
i’m glad I’ve kept my thoughts about the person who just joined and then made her remark to myself.
it’s been hard…but apparently willpower comes along with patiences during this wait.
:)
August 29th, 2006 at 5:58 pm
okay i totally screwed that up.
patience
there’s no plural obviously
August 29th, 2006 at 6:02 pm
“Seems to be confirmed - it was number Two”
On the silly side, I had a flash-back when I first read that. I think my dh uttered this very sentence during the potty training days of our son.
August 29th, 2006 at 6:02 pm
yes, yes, wild swans. obviously i want to BE AT THE WHITE SWAN WITH MY BABY ALMOST ON MY WAY HOME!
August 29th, 2006 at 6:03 pm
okay now THAT was funny. *applauds*
August 29th, 2006 at 6:05 pm
TG - seemed like the moment was “ripe”. LOL.
August 29th, 2006 at 6:06 pm
ROTFL
August 29th, 2006 at 6:10 pm
tg - it’s official, you’re now ready to parent!
hehehe =)
August 29th, 2006 at 6:15 pm
Grasshopper dreams, check me if I am wrong, but JFK was assassinated in 1963. Are you sure it wasn’t RFK (Robert Kennedy) who made that comment? Or maybe JFK did it earlier than you thought?
August 29th, 2006 at 6:21 pm
I have stayed away for a while since the last disappointing news because I just couldn’t handle anymore. What a time to check back in!!! RQ, hon, you know we love you and all that you do and I for one, come here for hope. Rumors are just that, rumors and you can believe them or not. What I have gained from this site is hope and if that is all I continue to get, I will just keep coming back. It eases the pain a little to know you are not going through this process alone and frankly, I have always gotten the impression that others on here really care. I am glad this site is here!!!
August 29th, 2006 at 6:24 pm
Our agency confirmed #2 with us today via email. Minimal information is going to come from the CCAA in the future - the agency we work with is a large China only agency who in the past received information ahead of schedule - not any more.
August 29th, 2006 at 6:36 pm
Number two? Oh my, I just got it. ROTFL.
Thank you all for keeping cool in the light of some who don’t “get” the whys and hows of this site.
Y’all keep me sane and keep me from calling my agency every other day.
August 29th, 2006 at 6:58 pm
I am “thirding” the comments before me - that this site keeps me from hounding my agency. Thanks RQ - for all you do.
August 29th, 2006 at 7:06 pm
Seems to me that the CCAA would get less calls from agencies if they would keep their website updated. How about updating it as soon as referrals come out? How about posting replies to an agency on the site so that other agencies don’t call and ask the same things? I know that just having the CCAA site is a big improvement, but can’t wait until it is utilized more.
Another suggestion, what if the CCAA sent out each week’s referrals at the end of the week? We would be so excited over the referrals each week that we wouldn’t obsess so much. A girl can dream, can’t she?
August 29th, 2006 at 7:07 pm
wunone16 —
Yup. It was Robert F. Kennedy. Thanks for the catch. As the joke goes, dyslexics of the world untie (and yes I am poking fun at myself with that one.)
The URL for the living-in-interesting-times quote is:
http://www.noblenet.org/reference/inter.htm
August 29th, 2006 at 7:24 pm
I am “fourthing” the comments of akina and jacquie–if it were not for this site I would be driving the China program coordinator at my agency insane with my questions and requests for info.
As much as it’s pretty disconcerting to have it confirmed that #2 is what the CCAA has in store for us re information sharing, at least we’ve got the poop… er, scoop on what’s going on there. :o)
August 29th, 2006 at 7:25 pm
Yep, our large China only agency said today that the only info will be LID and that’s it.
So yes now I will seriously start gathering info/documents to redo our 171(expires 1/07/07). Iowa says they can get it done in 1 month.
I think we can all say if we weren’t being held captive by the CCAA before they definately have us by the b%lls now or ovaries depending.l
August 29th, 2006 at 7:43 pm
Hmmm, I’m willing to take bets on how long this “dry spell” will last. I’m thinking not more than one more month. Someone will crack somewhere sometime. When you have info that others are dying to hear, the power trip is very strong and the faucet will leak again.
August 29th, 2006 at 7:43 pm
MMM interesting day here..just got caught up and similar to tg am glad the conversation seems to have run its course or I would have struggled to avoid jumping in.
I will speculate that the rumors wont disappear completely…it can be hard to fix a leaky tap sometimes…and often just when you think you have one leak fixed another one appears.
August 29th, 2006 at 8:09 pm
i’m with tresordasie and windthrow with the thought that the rumour mill..hmm errr repository, (sorry)…contrary to popular belief will be alive and well regardless.
besides, the control of information…as we have said, the confirmation of #2 is expected from the CCAA. I mean, this is the Chinese government we’re talking about…member of the Communist Potty and country with the turd largest and fastest growing economy. When some information Runs freely it can be a serious concern. I mean they really give a Crap about this kind of thing.
okay I think I’m pooped out now. sorry to Waste this much space. think I’ll Log off for now.
;) my apologies. i really stunk that one up. LOL
August 29th, 2006 at 8:18 pm
TG gets the official RQ Groaner Award.
August 29th, 2006 at 8:31 pm
and not sure anyone would have any interest in trying to take it away from him!
August 29th, 2006 at 8:45 pm
TG, you’re such a GAS!
August 29th, 2006 at 9:03 pm
TG, thanks for the humor, it’s a real relief on a day when we learned we can’t expect to squeeze even one decent rumor out of the CCAA in the foreseeable future.
Think I’ll have a drink… er, bromo-selzer now. :o)
August 29th, 2006 at 9:22 pm
I don’t post often but this thread’s had me rollin’. Now every time I see “#2″, vtmama’s flashback comes to mind. And it can go on and on.
Echoing that our agency never hears from us thanks to this site.
RQ, you are a very worthy messenger. Thanks so much for all your time, effort. You help keep a LOT of people going.
DTC 8/11/06
August 29th, 2006 at 10:27 pm
TG -OMG!
August 29th, 2006 at 10:37 pm
Hi,
Looks like I came in after all the drama too. Just want to add another “Thank You!” to RQ! This site has been wonderful!!
:o)
August 29th, 2006 at 10:41 pm
What’s ROTFL? (ok-so I’m clueless…)
TG-I laughed out loud!
Thanx for the levity-it is much needed!
August 29th, 2006 at 10:45 pm
ROTFL = rolling on the floor laughing
for this thread it might be appropriate to use
ROTFLMAO…will leave that one for you to figure out on your own though :)
August 29th, 2006 at 10:46 pm
TG-
You are always LOADS of fun.
I am sure everything will “come out” okay in the “end”.
August 29th, 2006 at 11:24 pm
This is my first post and will definitely be my last - I guess I’m looking at this from a different view than that this is a good thing that is going on here…. I truly feel we are privileged to be able to go to China to adopt their children - yes privileged. They have their rules, they have their time lines, etc. But for all of you to be spending this time on here critizing them and basically being extremely disprespectul, i.e, “member of the communist potty….” My goodness I do question some of the people on here and their values, and abilities to parent. It’s fine to have a forum to support each other and even vent about the time lines and how hard it is but to be disrespectful to their Country is just horrible. I am waiting just like the rest of you but I definitely can find other means of support as far as forums, etc. This forum is just extremely negaqtive and like I said earlier very very disrespectful. I hope once you all have your children that you can find positive things to say about his/her Country. What will you all do then??????
And on another note, if CCAA is getting upset about the rumors, leaks, etc, HOW CAN ANY OF YOU THING THIS FORUM IS HELPING???? My goodness, thing about it…
August 29th, 2006 at 11:30 pm
WHAT A WONDERFUL WAY TO END today’s ROLLERCOASTER RIDE!!! See ya’ll tomorrow. Thank ya’ll for being my “friends”. What a day….what a day….so glad now we’re all equals. I’m pooped!! yall are a hoot! good nite…..zzzzzzzz
August 29th, 2006 at 11:54 pm
Just came across a new post on Research-China.org on Brian Stuy’s predictions..He’s actually optimistic referrals will pick up in the next month or two. (FYI, there’s also an interesting post on a Chinese couple’s journey to adoption)
http://rese arch - china.blog spot.com/200 6/08/p redicting-futu re.html
August 30th, 2006 at 12:03 am
mia67-
normally I let people to their opinions and all but just want to say one thing. (well besides I THINK you meant to type THINK instead of THING but that’s trivial)
first of all, I have the utmost respect and admiration for the Chinese culture and people. I wouldn’t even thing(k) of adopting from China if I nor my wife didn’t. I have over the years learned more and more about China and it’s history…it’s people’s history and I find it fascinating, profound, heartbreaking…i could go on.
That being said, I am pretty disappointed that someone who has never posted…who apparently has not been following what has been said and discussed not just on this thread but all the past ones…comes on here in the middle of all of it and blasts everyone for what’s being said or discussed. If you had been paying attention…you would have noticed that after all the stress and frustration of the wait and some of this recent ‘news’/rumours/etc…some of us blew off some steam. Perhaps some of the humour went alittle left of center…or below the horizon if you will, but obviously you didn’t see that we were having a play on words and not actually saying things in ernest. You do know what humour is, right?
I don’t feel like I typically have to rationalise anything to anyone, and I’m not going to do it now. So thing(k) about this…please before you start saying something in an open forum, have somewhat of a clue about what we’re talking about and what’s going on at the time. We all here deeply respect the country of our soon to be children which we will all love and try to be the best parents to. We’re allowed to say what we think about this wait and how we feel about the situations when they happen. This includes having alittle fun to alleviate the stress and frustrations.
Unless you’re absolutely perfect in every way, you’ve yelled, cursed, got angry, frustrated, did things before you thought them through, poked fun of people, made not-so nice comments about people or things, etc etc. I remember a saying that goes something like “don’t judge lest ye be judged”. Don’t come on here and say this is your first post, bash everyone for something when you don’t know what’s gone on before hand or what the basis of what’s being said is…and then say it’s your last post. What kind of person does that make you?
so Go then if you say you can find other means of support as far as forums, etc. You’re not welcome. At least I don’t welcome you…don’t want you here.
I thing(k) there’s a High and Mighty Group over at Yahoo! for people like you.
ugh.
August 30th, 2006 at 12:09 am
RQ-
feel free to wipe out that post if you like…just needed to get that off my chest. especially since this was the 2nd person to come one here and with their one and only post completely insult and ridicule everything about this site and the people on it.
xie xie.
(yeah, Mia67..that’s Mandarin for thank you…I have so little respect for the Chinese that I’m learning a little of their language)
August 30th, 2006 at 12:16 am
tg…as I think someone said once before to you
you go girl!
August 30th, 2006 at 12:26 am
lol windthrow…thanks.
(just that i’m not a girl…and i’d tell my wife that for you though…although she’d have no idea what i’d be talking about LOL)
;)
have a wonderful night. oh, and by the way…how’s the sleep deprivation going? hope that child of yours finally lets you start getting alittle bit of a full night’s sleep. :)
August 30th, 2006 at 12:31 am
I find and extraordinary number of hostile and agitated people here today. I think it’s completely hypocritical to log onto a site and then yell whatever you see fit and then run on your merry way. In my humble opinion this entire situation WAS caused by agencies calling too much and overstepping their bounds it has NOTHING to do with sites such as this. Agencies should know better but I guess were overwhelmed with their lack of answers and wanting to save face for themselves. I am sure the wait is extremely difficult on them as well. I think all the anger today is coming because these supposed “one timers” had been lurking here for a long time getting their rumor fix and now they have to blame someone for their own anger and grief about the wait. I suggest getting on the phone with their agency and speaking the same critical words, I think then maybe they would think twice before speaking so harsly. I also find it disgusting to question what type of parent ANYONE would be, period. It is not your place or your business. I like it here, and I’m staying, now to quote Sally Field, “Can’t we all just get along?” Can’t we all laugh, cry, share, scream, enjoy, TOGETHER???? We are all in the exact same boat, you don’t like it, the life preservers are over there.
August 30th, 2006 at 12:32 am
hey tg, Bravo!
August 30th, 2006 at 12:32 am
was just trying to lighten things up for you tg…as one of the other minority guys on here i laughed out loud the first time you were “accused” of being a woman
am not expecting a full nights sleep anytime soon…just finishing the midnight feeding…about to see if little miss night owl wants to sleep or party…
August 30th, 2006 at 12:38 am
windthrow
got it! Yep I think I’ll laugh my a_ _ off as well!
TG-sleep well.
RQ-Rock on!
Good night all….
August 30th, 2006 at 12:43 am
Kudos to this group for standing up and having a sense of hurmor that many have checked at the door. I appreciate a little levity in serious times, it helps keep the chest pain at bay.
K is not a hard key, not anywhere near the g.
August 30th, 2006 at 1:14 am
Yeah, we all could do with more “hurmor”…. ;-) Have a good nite my hurmorful cyber-buddies! LID 8-9-05
August 30th, 2006 at 2:15 am
redthread, owner of the toilet language. your future precious child is the child of chinese parents. in yrs to come when she reads your comments about her country and heritage, how will she feel about the country of her birth? More importantly how will she feel about you?
August 30th, 2006 at 2:33 am
I am not a first time poster, nor a last time poster… I come here for rumors and camraderie…I post once a week at most and I am offended by the “my first & my last post” people. I’ve been reading this blog 10X a day (yes) even more… since March. Today frustrated me so much with the new/ (not going to post again) posters. I’m am so far from a Kiss-Ass person but I trust RQ to put stuff out there as she deems fit, and she’s proven herself to me over the 6 months that I’ve been trolling (sp? sorry) this site so give it a read before you critique it…by the time I’m done reading the 1st time posters… I ready am ready for that illicit 10am drink…
August 30th, 2006 at 2:36 am
Windthrow,
you are the new papa to a little baby girl you are adopting domestically, right? (making sure I have the right person!)- did your adoption finalize? I just thought of you & family earlier today & wondered if that had finalized okay? Hope all is going well & best wishes to you & family & new little one!
August 30th, 2006 at 2:37 am
what the….?????? did someone direct the rumour and humour police here today?!?
tg…you had me hehehe-ing out loud you naughty, naughty boy ;-)
and windthrow….you’re a himbo too??? Man [hehe]!! I had no idea!
August 30th, 2006 at 2:39 am
Did I mention it’ll be 10am here in 8 hours and I’m LID 7/25… so I need to EXPLAIN to work that sometime in ther near future.. I NEED OFF. Love, Insomniac
August 30th, 2006 at 5:51 am
I am always last to read everything as I am on the other side of the world..but just wanted to say.. this site keeps me sane. I don’t post much (mostly because I am online on totally diffrent time). But I read everything and I enjoy the happiness and sympathy (when needed) that most people here show one and another.
So what if there are few (must be very few) angry people out there that need to tell the rest of the world how to behave. Let them do whatever they need as we as a group are to strong to let their negativity inflect us (oops I am not sure of the spelling of all those big words hope you get my meaning..is not thing(k)) hehe
August 30th, 2006 at 7:06 am
kelliinportland:
yes that is me and thanks for thinking of us…last day of the waiting period is this friday and then she is stuck with us :)
then the wait begins until our silly provincial government will let us start the process for daughter #2 from China
August 30th, 2006 at 7:25 am
Wow, we’ve had a couple of really rude people here in the past couple of days, haven’t we?
The thing I’ve probably had to rely on probably more than anything else as a parent is my sense of humor. Especially when my child was two and three. I’m not sure how you survive with a two or three year old in the house without having your sense of humor firmly intact. I can also say that your child will go through a “potty” stage where genitals and bodily eliminations become the funniest thing on the planet to them… you can either get all upset over it and give them some kind of complex about these things so they’ll have something to talk about in therapy when they are older OR you can have a talk with them about how we don’t talk about these things in public but when we are home alone we can laugh about it all we want. My daughter is a good bit older and just last night she pointed out to me that the puppy’s tummy is between his nipples and his penis and then fell in the floor laughing at herself. I just agreed with her that yes, that is indeed where the puppy’s tummy is (and I said that while having a good laugh, myself).
Personally, I really feel sorry for the children of people who can’t understand this kind of humor. In my family we’ve probably had hours of laughter over “potty humor”, and I wouldn’t want to give up a second of it. One of my favorite things in the world is laughing with my daughter.
August 30th, 2006 at 7:34 am
TG-
thang(k) you for your post. I am always amazed at people who rage on about how rude and critical this group is and do so in a way that is both rude and critical. It is the incarnation of irony and hypocrisy.
That being said…..
I finally get to join the rest of you Auggies in the “Over a year since LID” club since today is my one year anni.Not much of a celebration, though. Just wanted to acknowledge my fellow 8/30 LIDers today.
…and by the way, I haven’t had this much fun with fellow “Pun-ners” in my life. The one good think(g) that came out of the last “first and last” post was the quote about the “Communist Potty”. Priceless!!!! Can’t BELIEVE I didn’t think of that one. ESPECIALLY since I am originally from Boston and, with my accent, actually pronouce it that way!!!
[Remotely related note:] My first year teaching here in the south, I mentioned to my class about how I was going to a Pah-ty. My students were grossed out. I, of course, told them that “Yes, adults still enjoy going to a Pah-ty.” It was only after a kid yelled out that he wasn’t interested in my bathroom schedule that I realized the lack of communication…and, almost fell on the floor in laughter.
Keep the humor in Rumor!!!!
August 30th, 2006 at 7:55 am
RQ,
” . . . OR you can have a talk with them about how we don’t talk about these things in public but when we are home alone we can laugh about it all we want.”
Is this blog considered “public” or “home”??? If it’s public, then I think we’re in trouble. LOL!!
I’ve been married for 20+ years and my husband still announces when the children laugh at some potty joke, that they inherited that trait from MY SIDE of the FAMILY!! Not true, it’s epidemic among both sides of their family tree. I’m just always glad that we’re ROTFL in the privacy of our own home!
LID 8/24/06
August 30th, 2006 at 7:56 am
Y’know I really get the humour thing. I do. G*D knows we all need a laugh and we probably all find different things funny. But can we drop the “thing(k)” bit? Why is it funny to take the pi** out of someone? Whoever they are? A lot of people who don’t comment here but do read occasionally (because RQ does such a great job of sorting all this information out for us amongst all the dross) talk about how cliquey it is. And having a bunch of us “gang up” on someone who disagrees with the Big Boys is just going to turn it into APC2. I for one would really hate for that to happen.
August 30th, 2006 at 8:12 am
shanahandavid-
obviously you didn’t read my response to Mia67. sorry you missed that. oh, and don’t forget RQ’s post as well.
that being said. I do apologise for the use of thing(k) several times in my post. It was a bit overboard, but I was alittle upset at how things had gone…especially since I did so well to bite my tongue earlier in the day. It really bothers me for people to question motives and abilities when they 1) don’t know the context in which things were written, and 2) don’t know me (or anyone else here) personally.
my nod to J- for that and as the saying goes ‘pick your battles’. I for one decided that was as good a moment as any (you all know I just don’t go around slamming anyone on here at all really) I’m sorry that I twisted the knife alittle much.
I do stand behind what I said though and definitely don’t feel that, unless it’s blatantly illegal, any one has the right whether first time poster or regular to judge the parenting ability of anyone here. I don’t think any of us would have made it this far otherwise. (re: home study)
oh and windthrow- sorry man, I guess I forgot you knew I wasn’t a girl and therefore didn’t get it. I did laugh about it abit earlier. :)
August 30th, 2006 at 8:37 am
Ohhhhh I love good bathroom humor! Especially first thing in the morning! My 3yr old can’t help but ROFL when she toots and yes…we join in on the laughing too!!! (don’t tell my SW)
J - I’m a member of many groups and have not heard anyone talk about it being cluquey. News to me!
RQ - thank you again for helping me to rise above my frustrations during this adoption (which “feels” much different than our first).
August 30th, 2006 at 8:38 am
j - I get what you are saying about not ganging up on people, really I do.
However, in my book, people who have never posted before who just come on and “blast and run” don’t get a whole lot of courtesy. Okay, they get zero courtesy. If they don’t like it here then they shouldn’t be coming here. If they do like it here but have a problem with a particular issue then there are MUCH better ways to address the issue and I would expect they would find one of those ways to do it. And I will guarantee people that if they do it nicely and in an adult way then I will take them seriously and respond as best I can. But we have had a few of the “blast and run” variety and I pretty much have zero tolerance for that.
August 30th, 2006 at 9:22 am
Mom2Isabel-
thanks for the kind words…and happy Observance of it being 1 year since your LID. that goes to all you other 8/30 LIDders as well. :)
now if we could all get over that finish line finally.
8.10.05 and feel like we’re on a TreadClimber.
August 30th, 2006 at 10:10 am
Sorry all, just catching up on all the posts…TG, really. You never cease to amaze me with your wit. And each time I saw thing(k) it made me LOL.
Sarahjane, you too made me LOL when you mentioned that the k was no where near the g….TOO funny girl.
I am sorry that someone had to go and spoil all the fun…it was really hysterical reading all the plays on words. Yes, at this stage, what else do we have but humor to help us cope with the wait.
I will not “go there” and comment on the one-time-posters….don’t let those comments bother you. You know in your heart why you are here and why you are going to make a terrific parent to a child, no matter WHO you are or WHERE your baby was born. Take heart and know that you are going to be loved and special to that child as much as you love them and consider them special. Those silly posters who don’t know you or your situation….well, never mind them.
I am thankful for you all….but I do take what I read with a grain of salt…it IS a RUMOR site, afterall. If we can’t come here and have fun, then don’t come on here. It’s not like there are enough rumors going around right now to keep the board LIT UP.
Seriously, the “bathroom” thread was really funny, and just what the doctor ordered.
TG, your post in response to the opposer was well written and I thank you for that because I agree. PLUS, I learned something new! xie xie.
August 30th, 2006 at 10:36 am
I would hope that, at least in general, most people would find it unfair to judge someone’s ability to parent based on a comment posted on a internet message board, unless that comment is along the lines of “Why, no, I haven’t stopped beating my wife yet, what’s it to ya?” Releasing a bit of frustration through humor in an environment where others are going through the same thing and can appreciate where you’re coming from, well, I’m no expert, but that sounds like a rather healthy way of dealing with things. If its not, I should probably stop making all those law firm jokes with my fellow lawyers.
I would also hope that most adults could realize that one can make fun of something, challenge something, disagree with something, and still love it. After all, I do that regularly with my own country and have never been accused of being unpatriotic. Most adults also realize that parents tend to say things to other adults that they would not say to their children. One of the reasons we sometimes long for adult company!
August 30th, 2006 at 11:09 am
sabrecmc-
very well said…and very true (especially about saying things about our own countries..lol). thank you!
one of the things I was going to say but felt it really unnecessary though was that if someone wants to come on here and say I’m being disrespectful to the country of origin to my future daughter by what’s being said, then I gladly invite them to view the room I re-did for her…all the thoughts, notes, and words I’ve written in regards to the journey to get her and the excitement of actually being in China for two weeks. Not to mention the DVDs on China…and the programs on China saved on our DVR that’s aired over the past couple of years. AND…the characters for ‘peace’, ‘love’, and ‘happiness’ I painted on the wood frame of our gazebo in our backyard…the chinese laterns hanging in said gazebo…
August 30th, 2006 at 11:16 am
oops *lanterns*
apparently I left my internal spell check turned off.
August 30th, 2006 at 11:28 am
tg - Dude…you’re just TRYING to get me to bite aren’t you : ) ?
August 30th, 2006 at 11:35 am
Oh, let’s not let any “party poopers” spoil the fun!
August 30th, 2006 at 11:35 am
waitingforAllie-
i didn’t forget you…been trying to actually do some work…lol
I really appreciate what you said…and I’m sure we all value your posts. I know I do.
thanks for what you said. :)
August 30th, 2006 at 11:37 am
j-
who me? i’m not that ornery and mischieveous…
;)
*chomp chomp* hehe
August 30th, 2006 at 5:15 pm
I have been cracking up over the last day reading the posts. You all are a hoot!!