Comments on: Rumor Reminders, and some analysis http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/ Join the Rumor Queen as she looks for the latest rumors and then analyzes them, trying to figure out what the CCAA will do next. Mon, 01 Dec 2008 19:12:36 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: zalie http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-16034 zalie Fri, 06 Oct 2006 06:37:58 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-16034 I've been lurking and this is my first post. I can't thank RumorQ and the rest of you enough for your candor. It's not what we wanted to hear, but it's what we needed to hear. We have had our heart set on adopting from China for the longest time. Based on a number of factors (friends currently in the pipeline, an agency that is actually straightforward with us, and the information I've learned from this site, to name a few factors at the top of my list), we have changed to another country's program (same agency), but we are checking the waiting child lists DAILY for China as well as other countries. Ironically, one of the main reasons we opted for international adoption over domestic was that we wanted to avoid the "dear birthmother" lottery and trade a longer wait and a higher expense for opting out of the emotional roller coaster. AS IF! We persist, but how unnecessarily heartbreaking this process is. It seems to me that the focus of international adoption is clearly moving from Asia to Africa, and that many agencies are not going to be able to afford to continue operating if the Chinese program is really slowing down the way it appears to be. When you couple that with some of the bizarre attitudes about trans-racial adoption that are gaining traction around the world, the result for children without families (and parents aching to adopt them) is nothing short of tragic. God bless all of you, I say. This not easy. I’ve been lurking and this is my first post.
I can’t thank RumorQ and the rest of you enough for your candor. It’s not what we wanted to hear, but it’s what we needed to hear.
We have had our heart set on adopting from China for the longest time. Based on a number of factors (friends currently in the pipeline, an agency that is actually straightforward with us, and the information I’ve learned from this site, to name a few factors at the top of my list), we have changed to another country’s program (same agency), but we are checking the waiting child lists DAILY for China as well as other countries.
Ironically, one of the main reasons we opted for international adoption over domestic was that we wanted to avoid the “dear birthmother” lottery and trade a longer wait and a higher expense for opting out of the emotional roller coaster. AS IF!
We persist, but how unnecessarily heartbreaking this process is.
It seems to me that the focus of international adoption is clearly moving from Asia to Africa, and that many agencies are not going to be able to afford to continue operating if the Chinese program is really slowing down the way it appears to be. When you couple that with some of the bizarre attitudes about trans-racial adoption that are gaining traction around the world, the result for children without families (and parents aching to adopt them) is nothing short of tragic.
God bless all of you, I say. This not easy.

]]> By: onemoretime http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15780 onemoretime Mon, 02 Oct 2006 21:12:39 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15780 Hmmmm... We're LID 3/6/06. The wait IS VERY frustrating. I think what makes it particularly frustrating is that increased wait times in the past had something "wrong" that could be fixed. This time it seems as though there is no "fix." Very difficult. Very frustrating. Many times during the past 8-9 months while I've watched the wait increase while simulataneously doing the "stats" in my head, I have thought, "This would be tougher if it were daughter #1." We waited 6 months for her referral, but the total time from start to finish was 19 months. The wait is tough and frustrating. I'm glad I have dd #1. Hmmmm…

We’re LID 3/6/06. The wait IS VERY frustrating. I think what makes it particularly frustrating is that increased wait times in the past had something “wrong” that could be fixed. This time it seems as though there is no “fix.” Very difficult. Very frustrating.

Many times during the past 8-9 months while I’ve watched the wait increase while simulataneously doing the “stats” in my head, I have thought, “This would be tougher if it were daughter #1.” We waited 6 months for her referral, but the total time from start to finish was 19 months.

The wait is tough and frustrating. I’m glad I have dd #1.

]]> By: kristinian http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15739 kristinian Mon, 02 Oct 2006 14:31:07 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15739 Pavella, I wanted you to know how sorry I am that health issues might disrupt your second adoption. I really hope that doesn't happen and that you are able to adopt a second child. Your attitude about the whole situation, the wait in general and your particular issue, is awesome. Kudos to you for understanding the fact that we all have to count the blessings we do have, and not spend precious time upset over the things we cannot control. I really pray that things go ok for you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts...I am sure you are a great mom to that beautiful little girl. :-) Pavella,
I wanted you to know how sorry I am that health issues might disrupt your second adoption. I really hope that doesn’t happen and that you are able to adopt a second child.

Your attitude about the whole situation, the wait in general and your particular issue, is awesome. Kudos to you for understanding the fact that we all have to count the blessings we do have, and not spend precious time upset over the things we cannot control.

I really pray that things go ok for you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts…I am sure you are a great mom to that beautiful little girl. :-)

]]> By: jackie http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15737 jackie Mon, 02 Oct 2006 14:28:06 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15737 Hi there. I'm new. Y'know, one of those "lurkers" who finally thinks she has something to say, even if it's something not very interesting, funny, or worthwhile. My problem is that I'm envious. Very happy for people most of time, but still envious. Envious. Envious of women who started their families exactly when they were ready. Envious of people whose IVFs worked. Envious of people with LIDs earlier than mine. Envious of people who chose domestic adoption, Vietnam, Thailand, Guatemala, Kazakhstan, or Ethiopia - who are now home with their babies or will be long before I have my little girl. Envious of people whose perfect match is with a SN child and who'll have their children before I have my little girl. Envious of people who have more than one route to adoption going at the same time. Envious of people who have been referred or will be referred twins. Envious of people with pools in their backyard. Envious of women who are younger, skinnier and prettier than me, whose nipples point to the ceiling. Envious of rich folks. Envious of Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, JLo and Nicole Kidman. Envious of people who truly love their jobs. Envious of people with unwavering spiritual faith. Envious of people whose dogs actually come when they're called. And envious of people, waiting for a referral, who have kids already. My thoughts are irrational and unreasonable! But sometimes we just have to acknowledge our dark side! Anyway, thanks RQ, for giving us this forum. It's great fun - even when the rumours are painful and when discussions get heated. Jackie Hi there. I’m new. Y’know, one of those “lurkers” who finally thinks she has something to say, even if it’s something not very interesting, funny, or worthwhile.

My problem is that I’m envious. Very happy for people most of time, but still envious.

Envious.

Envious of women who started their families exactly when they were ready.

Envious of people whose IVFs worked.

Envious of people with LIDs earlier than mine.

Envious of people who chose domestic adoption, Vietnam, Thailand, Guatemala, Kazakhstan, or Ethiopia - who are now home with their babies or will be long before I have my little girl.

Envious of people whose perfect match is with a SN child and who’ll have their children before I have my little girl.

Envious of people who have more than one route to adoption going at the same time.

Envious of people who have been referred or will be referred twins.

Envious of people with pools in their backyard.

Envious of women who are younger, skinnier and prettier than me, whose nipples point to the ceiling.

Envious of rich folks.

Envious of Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, JLo and Nicole Kidman.

Envious of people who truly love their jobs.

Envious of people with unwavering spiritual faith.

Envious of people whose dogs actually come when they’re called.

And envious of people, waiting for a referral, who have kids already.

My thoughts are irrational and unreasonable! But sometimes we just have to acknowledge our dark side!

Anyway, thanks RQ, for giving us this forum. It’s great fun - even when the rumours are painful and when discussions get heated.

Jackie

]]> By: cf http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15730 cf Mon, 02 Oct 2006 11:36:59 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15730 Hi all Going back to the original thread re the wait... My big issue with this is that things have slowed down so fast, starting in the autumn of last year. That simply doesn't "FEEL" right. Yes there are fewer babies (perhaps NSN) now in China, and yes there is increasing domestic adoption BUT these things tend to happen GRADUALLY...not all of a sudden the way it has happenned. WHICH is why I honestly believe that the CCAA/someone in charge are controlling the flow out of kids and the decision to reduce it was made last fall. This may well be due to the upcoming olympics, it could be due to "face" that the powers that be don't want China to be the easiest place from which to adopt. So what is my point? Guess it is that forecasting forward is truly like throwing a dart at a dart board. Until we know what the CCAA want the wait to be, we won't be able to forecast at all. If they want it to be 12-14 months, then things should even out/speed up slightly as at the rate they are going we are going to be at 15 shortly. If they want it to be 24 months, then they will continue to slow down even more. I'm with you all..we've an early nov 05 LID so I understand the frustration. What we need to find is a good source inside the CCAA who we can believe but sadly I don't think we can. RQ what happenned to your good source in China of several months back?? Have they ever emailed you recently? Hi all

Going back to the original thread re the wait…

My big issue with this is that things have slowed down so fast, starting in the autumn of last year. That simply doesn’t “FEEL” right. Yes there are fewer babies (perhaps NSN) now in China, and yes there is increasing domestic adoption BUT these things tend to happen GRADUALLY…not all of a sudden the way it has happenned. WHICH is why
I honestly believe that the CCAA/someone in charge are controlling the flow out of kids and the decision to reduce it was made last fall. This may well be due to the upcoming olympics, it could be due to “face” that the powers that be don’t want China to be the easiest place from which to adopt.

So what is my point? Guess it is that forecasting forward is truly like throwing a dart at a dart board. Until we know what the CCAA want the wait to be, we won’t be able to forecast at all. If they want it to be 12-14 months, then things should even out/speed up slightly as at the rate they are going we are going to be at 15 shortly. If they want it to be 24 months, then they will continue to slow down even more.

I’m with you all..we’ve an early nov 05 LID so I understand the frustration. What we need to find is a good source inside the CCAA who we can believe but sadly I don’t think we can.

RQ what happenned to your good source in China of several months back?? Have they ever emailed you recently?

]]> By: evanston http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15729 evanston Mon, 02 Oct 2006 06:51:51 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15729 hi, rq are someone else can you explain me something if it's true about the ccaa wil take three monts for one month it'll take 2007 to do 2005 it'l take 2008, 2009 and 20010 to do 2006 so the wait will become 4 year or do i see this wrong evanston hi,

rq are someone else

can you explain me something

if it’s true about the ccaa wil take three monts for one month
it’ll take 2007 to do 2005
it’l take 2008, 2009 and 20010 to do 2006

so the wait will become 4 year or do i see this wrong

evanston

]]> By: Canuckdude http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15727 Canuckdude Mon, 02 Oct 2006 04:34:32 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15727 My absolute favourite thing about this site is how supportive everyone is of each other - knowing that we're all in the same boat, feeling empathy for everyone else. There is very little "us versus them", or divisions between singles and couples, older and younger, bigger-boned and skinny-minis, etc. In the usual RQ refrain, the first and only rule is "Let's be nice". My absolute favourite thing about this site is how supportive everyone is of each other - knowing that we’re all in the same boat, feeling empathy for everyone else. There is very little “us versus them”, or divisions between singles and couples, older and younger, bigger-boned and skinny-minis, etc. In the usual RQ refrain, the first and only rule is “Let’s be nice”.

]]> By: Pavella http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15724 Pavella Mon, 02 Oct 2006 02:42:15 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15724 Sometimes when I read this site I am overwhelmed with how spoiled we all sound - like children who want their prize NOW and how dare anyone not comply with our wishes. I believe adopting a child from China is a privilege, not a right and that the CCAA can do anything they like and they do not OWE us explanations. This is the world of international adoption. And for the record, I am a single Mum to one child from China who has recently learned that my file will probably be returned due to unacceptable health issues. Am I heartbroken? YES. But bitter, no. I have been blessed with the most amazing, wonderful child and I will be forever grateful to the CCAA. Oh yes, and to say my pain is less or more than anyone elses is ridiculous - having a child to focus my enrgy on is most defintely a God send and I truly feel for the childless waiting families right now. I remember the first wait well - it was during the first big slow down of 2000/2001 and it was absolutely painful. Telling my child she may not get her sister will be horrible - one would think that after almost a year since LID, I would be in safe territoy.... not so. There are no guarnatees in international adoption. Sometimes when I read this site I am overwhelmed with how spoiled we all sound - like children who want their prize NOW and how dare anyone not comply with our wishes. I believe adopting a child from China is a privilege, not a right and that the CCAA can do anything they like and they do not OWE us explanations. This is the world of international adoption.

And for the record, I am a single Mum to one child from China who has recently learned that my file will probably be returned due to unacceptable health issues. Am I heartbroken? YES. But bitter, no. I have been blessed with the most amazing, wonderful child and I will be forever grateful to the CCAA.

Oh yes, and to say my pain is less or more than anyone elses is ridiculous - having a child to focus my enrgy on is most defintely a God send and I truly feel for the childless waiting families right now. I remember the first wait well - it was during the first big slow down of 2000/2001 and it was absolutely painful.

Telling my child she may not get her sister will be horrible - one would think that after almost a year since LID, I would be in safe territoy…. not so.

There are no guarnatees in international adoption.

]]> By: waiting for MeiMei http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15720 waiting for MeiMei Mon, 02 Oct 2006 01:06:38 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15720 Apparently, it stinks so much that I typed "weither". Yipe. Apparently, it stinks so much that I typed “weither”.

Yipe.

]]> By: kristinian http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15719 kristinian Mon, 02 Oct 2006 00:50:47 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/09/30/rumor-reminders-and-some-analysis/#comment-15719 Just read this thread... I agree wholeheartedly with those of you saying this shouldn't be a competition. Many of us who do have children have had them after sufferring through infertility, miscarriages, and incredible heartache. To those who do not yet have children, we do feel your pain and we know that your comments come from a place of grief and were not intended to hurt anyone else. For all of us, the important thing is to remember that we are on this slow boat to China together. (I would propose a 'group hug,' but that might be difficult, so instead I will just say that all of the waiting families, whether made up of 2 people or 6, are in my thoughts and prayers. I really hope that we each find whatever we need to get us through this long wait.) :-) to all... Just read this thread…

I agree wholeheartedly with those of you saying this shouldn’t be a competition.

Many of us who do have children have had them after sufferring through infertility, miscarriages, and incredible heartache.

To those who do not yet have children, we do feel your pain and we know that your comments come from a place of grief and were not intended to hurt anyone else.

For all of us, the important thing is to remember that we are on this slow boat to China together.

(I would propose a ‘group hug,’ but that might be difficult, so instead I will just say that all of the waiting families, whether made up of 2 people or 6, are in my thoughts and prayers. I really hope that we each find whatever we need to get us through this long wait.) :-) to all…

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