As we near referrals
As we near referrals I’d like to again point to: The not-so-rosy part
If you only spend five minutes on the site, please spend them on that post.
Those receiving referrals will be busy looking up their child’s orphanage and the city they are living and the provincial city and the weather and packing lists and airline tickets and a host of other things. Please, take the time to read that post and to check out this great attachment site before you leave. Just familiarize yourself with what healthy attachment resembles, understand the difference between healthy attachment and anxious attachment, and have a general idea of what the red flags are for attachment issues.
January 2nd, 2007 at 7:36 am
Yes, RQ, I completely agree with you! This attachment site is WONDERFUL and a MUST READ for all parents- whether first time parents or experienced ones. I’ve read through the site twice before and plan on definitely reading through it again before we travel for Elizabeth.
Thank you for all the hard work you do!! My family and I greatly appreciate it!!
His,
Mrs. U
LID 9-12-05- NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.makingahouseahome.blogspot.com
and http://www.youbelong.net/upchurchfamily
January 2nd, 2007 at 7:51 am
Thank-you for reminding parents in the midst of their excitement that we all have to be emotionally prepared for whatever might be in store.
Our expectations of our new families can sometimes be so HUGE that there is bound to be a let-down when reality finally kicks in.
Parenting is the hardest but most rewarding job there is- but when you’re new at it- either through birth or adoption- you have to be willing to give it time- and to know when to ask for some help.
Great advice, RQ.
Carolyn
http://china-calling.blogspot.com
January 2nd, 2007 at 7:59 am
I printed that whole site out and read it and then had DH read it. Helped A LOT. Then have gone on to read a few books. Thanks for the suggestion. We learned a ton. I have passed the link on to several others as well.
January 2nd, 2007 at 8:10 am
Thanks! I’m going to get my husband to read that.
January 2nd, 2007 at 9:07 am
Havn’t heard anything yet here in Ireland, will let you know as soon as I do.
Good luck to all waiting.
January 2nd, 2007 at 9:25 am
On Dec 25th under Interesting Story there was a quote ” the priority criteria are meant to protect childrens interest and shorten the waiting time for more qualified applicants”
RQ, do you think this means referrals time WILL shorten soon? Is there even a slim possibility?
January 2nd, 2007 at 9:27 am
Thank you RQ! You are providing a great service to all of us. After our first adoption in 2003 I struggled for a year to find answers regarding our daughter’s attachment and sensory issues. I wish your site had been around back then to direct us. It would have saved us alot of time and agony in our search for answers. As new parents, it was tough knowing what was normal, what was an attachment issue and what was a sensory issue. Everyone, but us, seemed to think it was no big deal. They suggested we just let her be who she is and stop reading ‘all those books’. Luckily we connected with Dr. Dan Hughes, who let me know that my instincts about an attachment issue were on the mark. Our attachment therapist recognized the sensory issues and referred us to an Occupational Therapist, who did wonders for our daughter. The site you recommend is a tremendous resource.
As a 9/29er, I am eagerly anticipating our referral, and am excited about bringing her home. We know we will most likely face some challenges, but we feel prepared this time around. You are helping first time China moms and dads get prepared, which in turn is a real gift to their children.
Thank you RQ!!
http://www.chinamomsonline.com
January 2nd, 2007 at 9:28 am
When they put the quota in place back in 2001 the wait did not start going down until 2003 when they reached the first quota months.
If that happens this time then the wait won’t begin to go down until they reach the May of 2007 applicants, which at the current rate would be the fall of 2010. I talked about this yesterday in this post: http://chinaadopttalk.com/2007/01/01/and-now-its-2007/
January 2nd, 2007 at 9:47 am
Yes, the rate won’t fall until the people coming in under new regs are getting referrals (2010–ish). For NSN adoptions, keep in mind that if the number of NSN children being adopted out continues to fall over the next few years (as expected), the wait may not be reduced by much at all: the smaller applicants may just allow CCAA to keep pace with the smaller number of NSN children that China arranges to be adopted internationally. The only thing everyone agrees on at this point is that the wait time will continue to grow in the short term.
But referrals continue to come!
Happy New Year! and Happy Referrals (Hurrah! finally!)
January 2nd, 2007 at 9:52 am
I know, I read it and now am plucking at straws.dh really wants to stay with China, so do I but we seriously have to look now at other Countries and I am so sad, especially for our daughter. We cant wait 2, 3 years it is just too long as w are ‘older’ parents, but good ones!
We wont be dtc until March/April 07. We started this process Jan 05 but this is the normal timeframe for Ireland. actually there is nothing official here yet about new rules!
January 2nd, 2007 at 10:14 am
RQ thank you for a much needed reminder of the reality versus fantasy aspect of IA. I needed to hear it again.
Wishing referrals would get here…
PJ
January 2nd, 2007 at 11:44 am
When my daughter came home all hell broke out. She had night terrors every night for 8 months. She would not sleep in the crib so she slept with us. It took about a year before things got better. I can tell you I thought I was prepared for all of things I heard. I was not and I was freaked out. I thought there was something wrong with her mentally. The smart thing I did was continue with my support group and I learned so much from all the others before me. If any of you have local support groups, join, it does help. My Daughter today is fine, she sleeps in her room but I have to lay down with her, she goes to nursery school 2x a week now and she is one happy, healthy smart cookie. I feel blesed everyday she is my life. Now we are waiting for our second daughter and I feel I am really prepared this time. DTCL 10/13/05
January 2nd, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Thank you so much, RQ. I have printed out reams of info for us to study. Even though we had to thoroughly read up on all this for our home study, it has been over a year and a half, so we needed a serious refresher. So helpful.
January 2nd, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Thanks RQ