So much for believing CNN
I think that one way to figure out whether a News Organization is trustworthy is to see how well they cover a subject that you know a good deal about.
If they cover that subject well then you can probably trust that they are educating you on subjects that you aren’t so familiar with.
However, if they completely blow it, then why should you trust them on news stories about what Congress is doing, or about how things are going in Iraq, or about any of the other important issues that we need to be informed about? How do we know that their story about the plight of women in Iraq is anywhere close to being accurate? Maybe they blew that story as bad as they’ve just blown the one about adoption from China.
CNN has shown that they are not capable of getting a story even close to being right.
I will never trust them to bring me my news again.
I will end this with just a few points:
None of the Muslim countries* allow their children to be adopted. This includes Iraq and Afghanistan. As the war in Afghanistan was getting ramped up there were so many people calling adoption agencies asking how to adopt the orphans that there were even news stories about why this is not possible. A Muslim country will never allow their children to go to non-Muslims. Ever. Check out:
http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/country/country_362.html
http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/country/country_401.html
Next, apparently the panel were not aware that the National Association of Black Social Workers has been against Caucasians adopting AA kids for a very long time, and that many continue to refuse to allow this practice even though it goes against current laws to do so. For more information:
http://encyclopedia.adoption.com/entry/transracial-adoption/360/1.html
http://www.publicpolicy.umd.edu/pu…ption-Neal.htm
Most people I have spoken with chose International Adoption because of what we consider to be poor domestic adoption laws. To start with, domestic couples are forced to “compete” with each other for a birthmom to choose them, in a competition that feels a bit like a beauty contest. Many are not interested in joining such a competition. But most importantly, with international adoption we don’t have to worry about a birthmother who lied (or wasn’t sure) about the true birthfather so that we have a birthfather who never gave up his rights coming back and challenging us five years later. We don’t have to worry about a birthmother going to court and fighting for visitation and then kidnapping them and running across the Canadian border with them. It has nothing to do with race. People flock to the countries with stable programs. For years that was Korea, then it was China. If the Hague issues weren’t there it would probably be Guatemala right now. I have a feeling that five years from now it could very well be Ethiopia. It’s has nothing to do with race and everything to do with finding a country where you know the child is a true orphan, and where the country has a predictable process.
As for the way the racists on her panel decided to further the model minority myth, I’m still too angry to even really speak out about that.
* Clarification: By Muslim country I mean a government founded upon the religion of Islam. Such governments do not allow American’s to adopt one of their children. I realize there are other countries with Islamic populations who do allow adoption. These countries include but are not limited to China, Kazakhstan, and Russia. I understand that it is not possible to adopt an “Islamic” child unless they are old enough to have learned about the religion.
January 6th, 2007 at 9:07 am
RumorQueen, I couldn’t agree with you more!!
We TRIED adopting thru foster care. After all, my husband was rescued from an abusive home when he was 3, spent almost 2 years in foster before his parents
adopted him. The foster care system in this country is so screwed up, it is impossible to get children who don’t have several major, major issues and tons of baggage. I say God Bless the people who are foster parents!! We were foster parents for about a year and it is a very tough thing to do.
When we saw child after child that the court system placed back into the homes where they were taken from, we knew we couldn’t expect anything but heartache from trying to adopt.
Most people who are adopting internationally first tried to adopt domestically and for all the reasons and more that Rumor Queen cited moved to international.
jennifer
LID 09-16-05
January 6th, 2007 at 9:22 am
Beautifully and logically written, too bad there wasn’t any room for intelligence on last night’s panel.
I’m still very angry about what I saw last night and other than writing to her (and perhaps boycotting any companies that may advertise on her show), there’s not much else I can do.
I wrote about it on my blog and I felt a *tiny* bit better after doing so, but why couldn’t she at least have had one knowledgeable person on the panel? Why did it have to be a rehash of stereotypes?
I knew the show was going to be on, so I told my mom and my SIL to watch it, in the hopes that they’d better understand the process. Both had said that they were busy last night, but asked me to tape it. I’m glad they missed it, and I really don’t want to show them the tape, because I don’t want to relive that nightmare.
January 6th, 2007 at 9:26 am
You expressed this beautifully. I hope you have sent this to CNN. They need to hear the first part about their credibility. This is exactly the way I feel as well. You comments on adoption are wonderful and brought tears to my eyes - I am not sure why. When I send my message to CNN I hope I can be as eloquent. Thank you.
January 6th, 2007 at 9:46 am
My mother — who is a very bright and knowledgable person — has said for several years now that CNN is not a trustworthy news sorce. Her belief is that CNN puts a spin on a news topic in order to sensationalize it. Now I know why she feels that way.
January 6th, 2007 at 9:56 am
My husband and I refuse to watch CNN and this is exactly why.
January 6th, 2007 at 9:59 am
I’m so glad to see I’m not alone in my reaction to this. I’m not usually someone who reacts so strongly to hearing something on TV, and I missed the beginning of the show, but I was so angry after seeing the segment that I almost fired off a reply to CNN right then, but decided it would be better if I slept first and calmed down.
Interesting that the focus was on how adoptive parents had so many misconceptions and assumptions about children of various racial and ethnic heritages and the entire episode was full of misconceptions and assumptions of why adoptive parents choose international adoption in the first place.
I’ve watched CNN a lot the last few years, it hit much of the major news in a quick fashion and I just don’t have a lot of time for TV. I don’t know if I will watch it anymore, I know I won’t watch Paula Zahn’s show (unless I hear she’s revisiting this topic and I decide to see how she handles it).
January 6th, 2007 at 10:00 am
Well said RQ. As you may recall we just completed what I consider to be the fairytale private adoption, but I know it is only so because we were very lucky and because here in Canada the laws regarding grace periods, birth father’s rights, and termination of the birth mother’s parental rights are crystal clear. It is beyond me how the situation of the woman who fled to canada with the twins ever developed.
We originally chose China for many of the reasons you outlined and it is unbelievable to me that CNN would allow such a segment to be aired.
In reading the transcript, I actually got the impression that the panelists were on there to be controversial and funny, Like a bad Jerry Springer episode.
I don’t envy you in the states…between CNN and Fox News you really seem stuck for a 24 hour news outlet with any integrity.
January 6th, 2007 at 10:00 am
RQ,
I couldn’t have said it better myself. I hope you’ve sent your thoughts to CNN. I e-mailed them after reading the transcript. I didn’t see the show. It was a good reminder of why we don’t bother to pay for cable.
Gina
January 6th, 2007 at 10:01 am
Our plan for this rainy,cold Saturday is to compose a letter (now that I have calmed down a teeny bit) and send it to every CNN and Time Warner (and anyone else I can find) bigwig as well as advertisers (explaining why we will not be using their products and services). I am going to hit them where it hurts - the bottom line.
Also, this is one time that I hope China is reading this blog and APC. They will know that we are adopting their children for the right reasons…
January 6th, 2007 at 10:05 am
I, for one, am boycotting CNN. They should not let this type of programming on the air! When I read the transcripts, I almost felt like it was a joke b/c it was THAT BAD!! How dare those people speculate on the motives of others! The would not dare have an adoptive parent or representative from an agency b/c that would make far too much sense! That would refute their baseless claims. These people had no basis for their findings-no research! No studies! No factual information! There are no words for the way I feel about Ms Zahn and her brand of reporting!
January 6th, 2007 at 10:10 am
just read the transcript….what a load of crap! outrageous. what a buch of ignorant, insensitive, unprofessional individuals! disgusting.
January 6th, 2007 at 10:19 am
I totally agree with everyone’s comments. My husband and I tried, unsucessfully to adopt domestically and through foster care. It was, in short, a nightmare. The biggest obstical I found, besides the fact that parents had to choose us (and we are older) and the cost, was the cold, deadpanned, totally unsympathetic attitude of most of the social workers. I really felt that they thought of adoptive parents as tools, rather than people.
I didn’t see the CNN show last night. I wish I had. I would love to comment. Maybe they will repeat it again.
Thanks RQ. I appreciate everything you do to support us!
Andrea
LID 9/12/06
January 6th, 2007 at 10:20 am
RQ; I completely agree.
The case you quote is a good example as well why the domestric laws need to be changed for both the sake of the birth family and the adoptive family, but especially for those poor children. No matter what happens; the outcome for everyone in that case is painful.
In the final analysis: Paula Zahn and her so called experts completely ignored the effect that broadcast might have for adoptees…….
January 6th, 2007 at 10:22 am
i’m not at all convinced this couldn’t have happened on any given msnbc or fox news show. people are in for a rude awakening if they think changing the channel is going to solve the problem. though not a regular zahn-watcher, but i’m sure she’s produced perfectly good shows…as will cnn in the future. i just think she and her producer dropped the ball here badly. tho the damage is done, one can only hope some of the universally neg. reaction will get back to them and make some imprint…but i sadly wouldn’t count on it.
January 6th, 2007 at 10:24 am
This type of “journalism” is the exact reason I’ve not watched CNN for years and never will. You hit the nail on the head, RQ. I appreciate your carefully worded, and thought provoking questions on how to select a news channel. Thank you.
I will love to see CNN’s website crashed or their email boxes so full on Monday it takes them weeks to get through them all! I’m sure they will NOT publish a retraction or revisit the topic to accurately cover the topic. The fact they came into the topic to push their “discrimination” agenda is despicable. Makes me wonder about their other “experts” they have on panels. Outrageous doesn’t describe it best.
January 6th, 2007 at 10:33 am
Just fired out a letter to CNN. That was cathartic. Do you think that CNN would ever acknowledge that this was poorly done d/c of all the feedback or am i just a PollyAnna?
January 6th, 2007 at 10:35 am
I didnt see this item because I watch FOX News. FOX has always seemed much more accurate and un-biassed to me. So if you guys dont like CNN, then turn the channel to FOX.
January 6th, 2007 at 10:36 am
Thanks for addressing this so promptly. I have watched CNN for years, but this was unforgivable. I turned CNN off this morning. You are absolutely right about trusting CNN. If they messed this up, they have probably messed up other stories. Someone needs to deliver a pretty serious apology to all of us and most importantly to our children. This stuff hurts me mostly because I know my daughter will have to listen to such ignorance one day.
.
January 6th, 2007 at 10:45 am
I am with Sam on this one. This sort of thing happens at one time or another on just about every news outlet going.
January 6th, 2007 at 10:45 am
I don’t watch CNN and after reading this transcript it soldified all my reasoning. I sent an email to PZ as well. I was horrified that this “panel” would be so derogatory towards Chinese children and the a-parents. I would love to snatch a knot in someone’s head at CNN over the drivel they aired last night. It would have been so much better for everyone involved if they had attempted to interview someone with an agency, a SW, or even a few a-parents. UGH!!!! :-x I was shaking with anger as I read the transcript on APC this morning. If APC, my agency forum and RQ are anything to go by, then they are being inundated with emails right now from upset parents.
Claire
LID 10/10/05(next?)
Waiting mom to a daughter that may or may not be “pretty” and “smart” ( although we all know they are all gorgeous!!;-) )
January 6th, 2007 at 10:49 am
So, RQ, you’re a busy mom with a busy career who still manages to find time to keep the adoption community informed. And yet you managed to quickly provide a great deal of accurate detail about why people choose Chinese adoption over domestic. Perhaps you should get the salaries of Paula Zahn and her group of ignorant boobs.
You have my utmost respect, RQ.
January 6th, 2007 at 11:03 am
I would just like to say that I believe in the way that we are all building our families. Every reason for choosing international adoption is unique, but I truly believe that they all come from having compassion for orphaned children. What we go through to adopt is not easy. The endless posts of heartache about waiting and the unknown of when you will meet your child is a testament to the people who choose to adopt.
RQ, I am new to the adoption process and new to your site. Thank you for all that you do!
January 6th, 2007 at 11:13 am
I missed the broadcast last night, but read the transcript this morning. I have only skimmed the responses here because I just used up most of my computer time composing composing an entry on my blog. I am surprised that that tone here is as calm as it is. I am so infuriated that I can hardly type.
I have not emailed CNN or PZ yet, though I did make the small gesture of removing the CNN news feed from my blog, in protest.
January 6th, 2007 at 11:13 am
This is why I watch FOX.
Pretty scary that CNN is the channel of choice of most airports and hotels, domestic and international. The last times we were in Europe and China, CNN was everywhere, but FOX was nowhere to be found.
(shudders)
Well-written RQ. Please send it to Paula :)
January 6th, 2007 at 11:14 am
Rumor Queen, all well made points. When I wrote to CNN, I suggested that their research team consider actually doing research before broadcasting and recommended Rojewski & Rojewski, who offered through research many of the points your posting suggests.
January 6th, 2007 at 11:41 am
A close friend who has a son stationed in Iraq called this morning to see if we had seen the Zahn show. When I said yes, she said “seeing it probably gave you some idea how we feel most of the time”. It is sad, and should feel insulting to us, that that the major news outlets function on the belief that there is better market for agendas and sensation than there is for truth.
January 6th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
waitinggma makes an important point. There is nothing unusual about this particular show. Its just business as usual.
January 6th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Thanks for bringing this to everyone’s attention RQ, we will definitely be writing!
Just wanted to point out that we did in fact adopt a Muslim baby from Kazakhstan and we are not Muslims, so some countries do allow it. Just FYI, so that you can make the strongest argument!!
January 6th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
I agree with Sam that changing the channel doesn’t work. I feel like sending a taunting letter to CNN that the reason our Chinese children will be smart is because they won’t be watching.
January 6th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
CNN/Paula Zahn shouldn’t irk people who are well informed (thank you RQ for your part) and EXTREMELY used to doing LOTS of paperwork.
Heather BT
January 6th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
Here is the letter I sent to Mr. Klein regarding the interview.
Mr. Klein:
I am writing to express my outrage at the inaccuracies and prejudices portrayed in the interview regarding Chinese adoptions which was aired as part of Paula Zahn Now yesterday.
Regarding the inaccuracies, I refer you to the quote at the conclusion of this letter. The sentiments expressed by this blogger represent the feelings of all of the adoptive parents I have met who adopt from China.
My husband and I have been in the process of adopting a Chinese child for almost two years and are nearing the day when we will bring her home. To suggest that we chose to adopt from China because we want a smarter, prettier, or healthier child is not only ludicrous, it is also in itself prejudicial.
Our reasons for adopting from China are as follows:
1. We want to adopt without the possibility of our child being subsequently removed from our home because a birthparent changed his or her mind.
2. We want a clear-cut adoption process with a predictable outcome. Chinese adoptions provide this whereas domestic adoptions do not.
3. I spent two years teaching in China, so of all the countries we could choose from, we feel China would be the best for us because we could share our daughter’s language and culture with her as she grows up.
The views expressed by Ms. Zahn and her panelists were amazingly ignorant and highly prejudicial. They reveal the preconceived ideas of the panel, not of parents adopting from China. In that regard, I refer you to The Anti-Racist Parent, a blog for parents who are committed to raising children with an anti-racist outlook. It is a site frequented by, among others, parents of Chinese adoptive children.
http://www.antiracistparent.com/tag/transracial-adoption.
My daughter will unfortunately have to live with the prejudices expressed by the panel and those who agree with them. Though all of our friends and family are thrilled about our adoption process and understand our reasoning, there will be strangers who will meet our family in the future and wonder if we adopted our daughter for the reasons mentioned in the interview. We will do our best to deal with these issues as they come up. But the fact that CNN, an international news organization, has added to our burden by propagated these prejudices is appalling.
I am posting this letter on our adoption website as well as other Chinese adoptive blogs. The Chinese adoptive community is entitled to a public statement from CNN apologizing for the inaccuracies and the prejudices expressed in the Paula Zahn interview.
Sincerely,
Etc.
January 6th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Yet another reason for ONLY watching Fox News!
January 6th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
Never been a CNN fan anyway, so am totally not surprised. Maybe they should interview my good friend, who has three bio sons, an adopted Chinese daughter, and an African American daughter adopted thru the foster care system. Oh, I guess if they featured a family like that, their biased and racists comments wouldn’t fly!
January 6th, 2007 at 11:03 pm
Thank you for bringing this to our attention. Like others, we do not watch CNN for this very reason. We will write letters to the CNN supports and put a little something on our website.
BTW, Bob and I were foster parents for years and we were “emergency care foster parents” (meaning short term care- usually custody cases or jail time stuff) until one little child came into our lives… this child spent the better part of a year with us and we tried to adopt this child… it was a go and this child was older.. this child begged everyone to allow the adoption… it was “good to go” with bioparents.. then out of no where swoops a grandparent… judge says.. blood ties are much more important… WHAT? everyone was shocked.. the g-parent had child abuse cases against them in the past.. and g-parents STILL received custody of child. EVERYONE was heartbroken. I am not sure I will ever recover from that. THEN much later we tried another domestic adoption.. b-mom choose us.. until days before birth… then changed her mind and “picked” another family.
oh and just to throw another “fun fact” a person of a different race (don’t even speculate!) whom was pregnant and wanting to place her child for adoption, looked straight at me and said ” I could never give my child to you b/c your white”… WHAT??? I simple in my best sweetest kindest voice said, um, whew I am so glad that China sees beyond my skin color so I can be Sophies mom. she just smiled ?
I WILL NEVER BE A PARTICIPANT IN A DOMESTIC ADOPTION AGAIN> THE USA Does not protect ME and MY family.
BUT it took all that to see how BEAUTIFUL a country CHINA is and how much I appreciate the way they run (even though I don’t agree with everything) the program.
There are orphans all around the world, and we should NOT feel anything except blessed that other countries will allow us to adopt them as our children. I doubt any of us who have or are in the process of adopting have ever looked at any country, whether domestic or international, and said.. hmmm lets see what country to go with so we can pick the prettiest or smartest child or the best chance at…. that is just ludricrous, as we aready know….
I know my post probably doesn’t make much sense.. I was very frustrated when writing it. Sorry.
Jill
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/waiting4daniel
actual have a new site but it is passworded.. need to go to old one to get password.
waiting for SN TA for daniel SINCE JULY….. 5 1/2 months….
lid mar 06
loi july 06
snta……..
January 7th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
I was one of the panelists on Paula Zahn’s show on adoption on adoption.
First, I regret if my comments were offensive or hurtful in any way. My goal in appearing on the show and in researching and writing on this topic is to debunk the many myths about domestic and international adoption and to start a discourse about an incredibly important issue. Unfortunately, the format of the program does not allow panelists to explain our position in any depth or to provide evidence supporting our assertions. Thus, I would like to take this opportunity to do so here.
I do not believe that most families who adopt internationally are motivated primarily by race. There are many complex reasons why Americans choose to adopt internationally, and from China in particular. In my article, Discouraging Racial Preferences in Adotions, I address many of these reasons. For example, I explain that some Americans chose to adopt internationally because:
–they believe there are relatively few infants available for adoption in the U.S.
–they believe that domestic adoptions take too long and are more expensive than international adoptions
–they prefer a closed adoption as opposed to an open adoption
–they are afraid that the adoption will be disrupted—that the birth mother or father will reclaim the child.
–they believe that many of the children available in the U.S. have significant special needs (for example, that the birth mother consumed drugs or alcohol while pregnant)
–as a result of the United States’ history of race matching policies and the National Association of Black Social Workers’ opposition to transracial adoptions of African-American children, some white families may not be aware that they can adopt African-American children. They also might not know anyone who has.
–some adoptive parents feel that given the One Child Policy in China, they can give a female child an opportunity that she otherwise could never have.
I discuss all of these reasons in my article and then I show that many of these beliefs about adoption are based on misinformation. For example, although it can take a very long time to adopt a white infant in the U.S. and such adoptions can be expensive, that is not the case with adoptions of African-American children. Adoptions of African-American children are actually less expensive than international adoptions. The reason is that agencies must subsidize adoptions of African-American children because there aren’t enough families seeking to adopt them. For example, American Adoptions (the largest domestic adoption agency in the U.S.), like many agencies, has a separate, subsidized program for adoptions of “African American or Bi/Multi-Racial newborns and infants. Any race combined with African American.â€
This agency explains why the fees to adopt African-American or biracial children is lower than the standard fee–the fee charged for “adoption of Caucasian, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, etc newborns and infants.” It states that:
“Costs are lower in our Agency Assisted Program because American Adoptions subsidizes the advertising for this program. There is a shortage of families for African American babies in the adoption community so costs must be lowered so it is possible for these babies to find wonderful homes.â€
Further, the average wait time for an African-American child, according to this agency, is “1-9 months†and they explain that the “The reason the waiting time is substantially shorter is because there are less families in this program.â€
I interviewed numerous adoption agencies as I conducted my research. (The agencies’ names, contact person, and the date of the interview are provided in my article which I have attached as a link to this email). These agencies all informed me that there is a shortage of families seeking to adopt healthy African-American infants. As a result they had to reduce the fees for adoptions of African-American or biracial children 25% to 50%. They also informed me that the wait for an African-American child was less than a year and, in some cases, as short as two weeks after completing the home study. In contrast, the wait time for an adoption from China is approximately 15 months. Many foreigners, primarily Canadians, come to the U.S. each year to adopt African-American infants precisely because such adoptions are relatively fast, affordable, and the majority of the children are healthy. Approximately 500 African-American infants are adopted internationally each year.
In my article, I explain that I am not talking about African-American children in the foster care system. Adoptions from the foster care system can take a long time and for some prospective adoptive parents, the risk that the court will not terminate the birth parents’ rights or will place the child with a family member instead is unacceptably high. Thus, my focus and comparison is not between adoptions of children in foster care in the U.S. and international adoptions. Rather, I am comparing adoptions of African-American children placed voluntarily through private agencies with international adoptions. When we look at adoptions of African-American and biracial children whose birth parents placed them voluntarily, we see that there is no shortage of such infants. Rather, there is a shortage of adoptive families seeking to adopt these children.
Unfortunately, while conducting my research I learned that race plays a role (consciously and unconsciously) in some Americans’ decisions to adopt internationally. Although scholars such as Elizabeth Bartholet and Randall Kennedy at Harvard Law School, Twila Perry at Rutgers Law School, and Patricia Williams at Columbia Law School have been writing about the role of race in adoption for years, I was appalled to learn that in 2005 and 2006, agencies were still finding that some families were choosing to adopt internationally because they did not want to adopt the children who were available in the U.S.—African-American children. Some prospective adoptive parents did not believe that they could competently raise an African-American child with a healthy racial identity, while others were concerned that their family members and neighbors would not accept an African-American child into the family even though they would accept a child from China, Korea, or Guatemala. Others feared that, if they adopted an African-American child, people would assume that their child was a “crack baby†(as ridiculous as that sounds). Interestingly, some Americans who adopted children from Korea or China found that some people automatically assumed that their child must be “smart†or a “model minority†because of his or her biological roots.
I have tremendous respect for adoptive parents. I only wish (as I am sure you do) that race was never a consideration in any adoption decision. Unfortunately, it sometimes is.
Some of you may have seen the article in yesterday’s New York Times discussing the sharp decline (18%) in adoptions from China in 2006. The number of international adoptions by Americans from South Korea, Russia and Ukraine also dropped significantly last year. Given this trend, I think we might see more Americans adopting African-American children. I am attaching a link to the NY Times article. http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/us/AP-Foreign-Adoptions.html
I am also attaching a link to my article with footnotes documenting my research. http://lawreview.law.ucdavis.edu/files/Issue%204%20Articles/DavisVol39No4_Maldonado.PDF
I regret that I did not have the opportunity to make these points on the show.
Respectfully,
Solangel Maldonado
January 8th, 2007 at 11:21 am
Solangel,
While I appreciate your attempt to explain your research, I feel that there is an element that is sadly lacking. How many actual families that have adopted both domestically and internationally have you actually spoken with? Adoption agencies will give you information as to what is happening with their programs, but they cannot truthfully tell you what is in the minds of the people actually adopting. Certainly not what is in my mind as my husband and I faced our adoption decision. I can truthfully tell you that what motivated us the most was personal experience. I am a Neonatal Intensive Care nurse at a large hospital. I have witnessed the foster care system in my state as they over and over again have returned infants to families that cannot and will not care adequately for them. To have worked so hard to bring a beautiful little child to good health and then hear later that they were returned their biological parents and are now dead is devastating. And I can’t count on both hands how many times it has happened in my 14 years there. It’s a little hard to consider going that route when my personal experience with it has been disastrous. I have also watched friends and co-workers experience failed domestic adoptions, and those did involve both Caucasian, Hispanic and African American children. My African American co-worker waited almost 18 months for her first adopted child! When we briefly investigated domestic adoption we were told point blank that we would not qualify to adopt an infant since we had biological children and that we needed to look at a 3-5+ year old. We were also discouraged from trying to adopt an African American child as this particular agency preferred to place those children only with African American parents or with bi-racial couples. I have since learned that this agency has a program with Canada in place! Why were we then not good enough? Were agencies giving you this kind of information? Maybe we should have “knocked on more doors” however our personal experience up to that point was not positive, so why should be continue?
There are many factors that go into deciding what country you will adopt from. I can see that *some* of the reasons that you have listed may come into play for some families. However, I think your research, in not including actual families, missed the boat and left a lot to be desired. No adoption agency can tell anyone else my motives. Only I can. Never once did our family believe that our daughters would be smarter or healthier because of their race. Since I speak to hundreds of adoptive families either by email or through the adoption support groups that I facilitate, I can promise you, belief that their children will be smarter than those of other races, has never entered into their minds either. In fact, in many cases, topics of discussion include how to help our children that have learning disabilities since in many cases, school systems or individual teachers have the mindset that they should be smarter because of their race and are therefore actually less helpful and more demanding of our children.
I am disappointed that if you “respect” adoptive families, that you would choose to speak about them in such a manner. Maybe the forum did not allow you to speak as you would have preferred, however you will not be remembered by adoptive families for the amount of research on adoption you have conducted, but instead for your participation in a discussion that was demeaning and incredibly ignorant.
Susan M.
Mother to 4, nurse, and adoption advocate and support group facilitator.
January 8th, 2007 at 11:43 am
It willbe interesting to see if anythign is mentioned on Paula Zahn’s show tonight..with all the email flying at CNN the responsible thing to do would be to do would be to acknowledge they goofed…but who thinks they will do that. I am goign to email the advertisers today (Thanks RQ and all who helped for gathering that data). I already flooded the inboxes of CNN over the weekend.
January 8th, 2007 at 8:01 pm
soulangelnj- I must say that your letter reads more like an advertisement for a specific agency rather than dedbunking any myths about adoption.