I know of someone who was getting sworn in today (China) and CNN was there filming so I doubt this will just go away.

And the MoCA has been upset with the media attention. They have never (to my knowledge) been upset with internet attention, but they have been upset by the news stories. It is their own fault, I’m not saying it isn’t. But I just don’t think that stirring the pot anymore is going to accomplish anything.

This is our first child-we went through 5 years of ttc, 2 m/c’s and 1 year of paperwork to get here. We were lucky to get DTC before the changes….we won’t be able to go back for a little sister like we had planned.

Might as well try to get some laws passed in America and other countries NOW so that maybe we can have a second child in the future…made just a little bit easier though media attention.

I highly doubt that China would just stop all adoptions because of some publicity anyway…otherwise this site would be primary target! Don’t you think? And yes, I believe agencies monitor this site-and word could get back to China. How is that different from any other broadcast?

Why not try to make things better for adoption in all countries by getting the word out? Besides, looks like domestic will be a good second adoption for us now or maybe Ethiopia even though that will be a LONG wait too?

I just don’t get the hush-hush fear. Am I missing something?

Personally, I’d rather the CCAA spend time making matches and signing off on them instead of going into meetings about how to respond to media attention.

I understand what ya’ll are saying. And at some future time it might be nice for the media to do some reports on the state of domestic adoptions and point out that so many people go overseas to adopt because of poor domestic adoption laws. I just don’t think that right NOW is the time for the media to do that.

1. Some states have HUGE wait times for a “healthy infant girl” that has no suggestions to sexual or physical abuse. Our wait time could have exceeded a 5 year wait.

2. The sperm and egg donor (birthparents) have no chance of coming back into the picture years down the road demanding visitation rights or wanting the child back.

3. The expense that some go through here in America just to adopt is outragious. 35k to 50k and then paying back the state you adopted from on child rearing expenses.
4. Most International orphaned children have a lower standard of living conditions that even our children her in America would never see. Example being no clean or purified running water or proper waste disposal. Some wash, drink and bath in the very water outside the doors of the home.

I could go on but I hope these examples I clarifies the point I am making. It’s not what China’s regulations and requirements are changing to, it’s what the American community hears about our sole reasoning behind a International adoption verses a Domestic adoption and I feel this is the point you all are forgetting.

I honestly do not think that a Chinese offical is sitting by a computer or the T.V./newspaper looking at what is going on. They have better things to do and a country with issues of their own to worry about.

Relax – but don’t loose site of the real issues. You should never sweep defending your reasonings for adopting under the rug. All that does is tell the public that they are right and it sends a negitive message to your child about the real and true reasoning behind their exsistance here in America.

Off my soap box now,

LID 6.13.06

I agree with you on the point you make here. If Oprah wants to send her own money to S. Africa then that’s her business. I have to admit though, that I don’t understand where you were trying to come from on the subject of International Adoption/China Adoption on both Friday 1/5 and Monday 1/8′s Paula Zahn show. To say what you have here about Oprah and her decision after saying you don’t understand why people are adopting from China and other countries instead of U.S. children (particularly black children) is at it’s most simplest level, hypocritical.
I am a father of an adopted Chinese girl, in fact my wife and I just recently returned. This is our first child. We are white, but you know what? that is not important. We, as many many other families, didn’t look at China to adopt because of any “stereotype”, nor did we adopt from China because we’re white and the children are ‘light-skinned’. We adopted from there because we researched the overall processes, costs, and requirements of China, other countries, and the U.S.
Are there families out there that make some of these decisions to adopt, as you put it, based on stereotypes? probably. However, I can tell you, and if you ask your friends and acquaintances as well, that during the earlier stages before a family can ever submitt their final paperwork into the “process”, there are interviews with social workers and such in order to report to state government organisations that these parents are fit to adopt. I suspect that if a family were to say to these social workers that they were adopting a Russian child because they are white and look like them (in other words wouldn’t “stick out”) it wouldn’t go over too well. Is that really what some people here in the U.S. think? sure. We’ve all unfortunately had a lot of years here where skin colour and how one looks have been grafted onto our way of thinking.

That being said, it is interesting to note that the NABSW (Nat’l Assc of Black Social Workers) has the position of opposing the adoption of black children by white families unless it’s a “last resort”. I’m not making this up. It is fact. If, as was brought up on the Friday Paula Zahn show, a family should not be judged as to being a good family or not based on looks, etc. then how can the NABSW justify this viewpoint? Is the belief that being black in America is so singularly difficult that only being raised by strong, proud black parents gives a black child the chance at a healthy self-image. In addition, black children raised by white parents would identify with the white power structure rather than with their own people? I just do not understand how this viewpoint can be justified…nor to be rationalised as anything other than racism. If the NABSW is supported in this, than how can you, me, or anyone else question the decisions of adoptive parents everywhere?

To be honest, Mr. Martin, I was alittle disappointed that the topic was ever discussed on that show. It was done without true research and support by both sides of the issue. Basically, Friday’s show was just the airing of yours and the other panelist’s viewpoints and opinions. It was done as a generalised and vague explanation of the decisions made not only by the Chinese government in the developement of their regulations regarding inter-country adoption, but also the by reasoning and decisions made by the adoptive community. It was done to point out stereotypes. The issue of China’s Central Government and their “new” regulations is not about a family who looks good gets to adopt, it’s about making sure that the children are placed in a good home. It’s not about the family being wealthy (my wife and I both work and are definitely not “living it up”) and it’s not about the family having to be thin. Do we happen to know what a 5ft 4in 40 year old woman with a BMI of 39 (40 is the ‘new’ limit) looks like? Yes…definitely not Kate Moss. Each of these regulations are more profound in their reasoning than just being rich, thin, and good-looking. I definitely think it would have been more meaningful and productive to explore and discuss the ability to financially support and be medically sound enough to support (at ages 30-50) the adoption of an infant and even more so a Special Needs child. I understand that you didn’t have anything to do with the show as far as the topics discussed, but I hope you can understand that the way this topic was handled did a great disservice to not only the adoptive community, but those families who are looking into adoption as a way to fulfill their family.

I do believe we need to address the issues of stereotypes and racism in this country, but to point out and/or create something that is not necessarily there…especially concerning a subject that it doesn’t pertain to will not help in this cause but will only feed the flames.

thank you and peace be with you.