A Curveball
My boss’s boss apparently had decided the adoption was something that was always going to be in the future. Apparently he has asked a few times over the past year when it was going to happen and was told “3 to 5 months” every time he asked. So he had the idea that it was always going to be “3 to 5 months” away. Had I known how much things were going to slow down so I could have given them an accurate guess this time last year and in the middle of last summer then things would be different. But he feels that this is coming at him from nowhere and I can kind of understand why once I heard his side of it. He also understands I haven’t done it on purpose, so we’re good, but now we have to figure out how to deal with things now that it’s here.
The main issue is that, unbeknownst to me, or my boss, a project is having major problems and was about to be handed to me. Without going into too many details, I have agreed to go out of town to travel to the jobsite to straighten things out on that project as much as possible before I leave. If ya’ll will remember from when I was traveling back in October, I will not have access to the internet while I’m gone. I’ll have access to a satellite phone and the company understands I’ll be on the phone to my husband more than usual while making plans for our travel. But this job site works via satellite phones and faxes, not the internet.
This has caught me with my pants down. I have some moderators lined up for the forum but have not made them moderator’s yet. I was waiting for my geek friend to help me out with that, but it looks like I need to figure it out myself as my geek friend is pretty busy right now.
I don’t know when I’ll be leaving but I’m guessing it will be in about two weeks. I’m assuming I’ll be gone about a week. The blog will not be operational while I’m gone, but the forum will be open (assuming I can figure out how to set up moderators). It will just be a test run for how things will go while I’m in China, I guess.
At any rate, the boss’s boss is happy for me and understands I’ll be leaving for China as soon as I can (which will probably be five to nine weeks) and there is no question about that, but before I leave I’m going to be quite busy. I’m guessing there may be two out of town trips called for before I leave, but I need to dive into some paperwork and talk to the onsite manager a bit before I make plans for two trips instead of one.
February 5th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
Wow, they are certainly keeping you busy at work before you leave for China. At least the BB (Big Boss) understands the situation you’re in. It was obviously not your decision to slow down the adoption process and to make it 3-5 months from now. Good luck with everything. We will make every effort not to go nuts without updates while you’re away :-))
February 5th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
RQ–You are an inspiration! Do you have more than 24 hours in your day? You run the most informative adoption blog, moderate an amazing adoption forum, work a high-tech job, handle a work crisis, travel, raise a daughter, love a husband, prepare to adopt another wonderful child, and yet you still find the time to let all your subjects in RQ-land know your plans and contingency plans while you are preparing to leave. In a word…you are AMAZING! Thanks for working so hard to provide such a great site for the adoption community while you live a pretty full life. I need a nap just thinking about how busy you are!
Maisey13
February 5th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
I also would like to tap into your energy RQ!
How do you keep it all together?
February 5th, 2007 at 6:30 pm
LOL, I’m just a good multi-tasker.
February 5th, 2007 at 7:13 pm
RQ– Wow! You do have a busy life! Thanks for all you have done to help so many of us. I am sorry for those still waiting that they will not be able to check the site every 5 seconds like I did the last month or two (or three).
My bosses were kind of caught off guard too since I kept saying we would be leaving in a month or two for forever. (Always the optimist) But it ended up being Christmas break so it worked out great. I hope that things will settle down for you and you can get to China soon! Best wishes to you!
Glenda
February 5th, 2007 at 7:28 pm
Understatement of the year! At the point where you are now, you’re truly Wonder Woman. Whatever you need to do, please don’t worry about us, RQ. We promise to play nicely among ourselves, and abide by your rules and those of the interim forum moderators. With your last post showing the analysis, this will keep us going for a good long while. Long since time for you to do whatever it is you need for you and your family. Thanks for letting us know the situation – you didn’t have to – and to make provisions for us to keep going while you’re away. Hugely appreciated. A new Rumor princess! I love babies…
February 5th, 2007 at 7:35 pm
RQ- I am glad it worked out with the big boss. The one positive about you being so busy, the time waitng to travel will go quicker. Congratulations on being a new mommy again!
February 5th, 2007 at 7:38 pm
Wow! I’m exhausted just reading what you’re up against!
You go and slay the dragons and we promise we wont storm the castle.
While you are so busy taking care of everyone and everything please don’t forget to take care of yourself, too!
TJ
10.18.05
February 5th, 2007 at 7:43 pm
Thanks for letting us know RQ. Whatever you can do about the site will be very much appreciated. Take care.
February 5th, 2007 at 7:54 pm
My first thought was that time will pass quickly for you :)
We will all survive RQ – I know there are some readers that don’t believe they will. Hee hee. Everyone step back and remember the days before RQ. At least now we have numbers to play with and ponder while she is busy picking up her beautiful baby!
February 5th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
RQ, Good luck. I am in the Architectural Engineering business and my husband in RD&E. We completely understand.
February 5th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
The way I figure it, this is just your Chinese New Year hiatus.
Except you will probably be working your butt off….
It is interesting to hear how people negotiate these kinds of things. One more benefit to having this community and the Rumor Queen available to us all.
Should we share our stories somewhere about how this has worked out with our jobs–or fitting it into the rest of our lives?
February 5th, 2007 at 8:58 pm
I know you don’t know me very well, but if you need more help with the site, let me know – I’d be happy to help!
February 5th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
RQ,
First off you amaze me with all the balls in the air that you seem to juggle. I am so happy for you that things are moving in the direction of bringing you second baby home from China. Nothing like a bit of work drama to keep you on your toes during this final push. I hope all works out for you there and will think happy thoughs for you and your family as you take these next steps.
Please take not offense with this comment, as I totally get how things played out at the office with the BB thinking you had an eternal 3-5 months to go. But, don’t you find it a bit ironic that at least 20% of the waiting adoption community is turning to you MANY times a day for even a crumb of info. about how much longer we all have to wait and your bosses boss had no clue about yours. Is that like the cobblers kids having no shoes??? LOL
February 5th, 2007 at 9:21 pm
Promising to play nice while your away….. :o)
Take care & safe travels..
February 5th, 2007 at 9:31 pm
Hi RQ,
Good luck in managing the job situation. I hope it goes smoothly for you.
Thank you for both of your posts today. It made me realize that I have to prepare my boss. We expect to be in the April batch and I just told them about the adoption this past Thanksgiving.
Your post made me realize that it is time to start talking to them about planning while I’m gone.
Best to you (and thanks for all you do),
Buster.
February 5th, 2007 at 10:09 pm
RQ I promise to be a good little poster while you are gone!
I am just exhausted thinking about what you have to do with your work, the site, the adoption, your family…life in general!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!
We will probably be lost while you are gone…but you will be missed!!!!
Take care,
~Linda
February 5th, 2007 at 10:40 pm
I just have to say, what an exciting time all around for you! It will definitely make the time to TA go by fast! Best of luck, and a belated congratulations to you and your family! I am so happy for you to have this day finally arrive!
February 5th, 2007 at 10:51 pm
Just remember that curve balls are a lot easier to deal with than knuckle balls. All our love and best wishes for the impending travel for business and pleasure. Please remember to breathe while you’re multitasking!
February 5th, 2007 at 11:55 pm
I totally understand, RQ. Thank you for the explanation. You have actually given me what we need to make it to the finish line, and I appreciate that so much. But I’ll be here for any words you have to offer us. Blossombaby 10.25.05
February 5th, 2007 at 11:56 pm
I hadn’t actually notified work just yet – I realized we were in for a long haul and did not want to answer “have you heard from China” 12 or so times per day.
So – now we heard from China. Better go tell da boss.
Boy is he going to be SHOCKED. I am 52. He was NOT expecting maternity leave!
LID 2/17/06
February 6th, 2007 at 1:29 am
Ah! just think about that odd glass of wine at the end of a hard days work….the work will disappear in no time and you’ll be on the plane to China before you know it.
And better still make the BB pay for it.
You trully are amazing RQ.
February 6th, 2007 at 1:33 am
lookingtochina, your lucky you are not here in Aust. Our policy is that you have to notify your workplace within 10 weeks of being approved. That’s not the approval of you accepting a referral, but at the other end before your file is even DTC’d.
Yikes. How many times have I had to tell the boss “no news yet”…and then try and explain the 2.5-3months per month thing to get through the LID’s. Ughhh!
February 6th, 2007 at 2:58 am
RQ
Congrats on your referral – you deserve the best!
I’m glad that you have the work situation sorted out, even if it does mean travel before China.
If you are going to be away then I guess I should join my DTC group on the forum – please could you point me to the right post to explain how to do it – I have already looked around the forum but can’t find it!
Thanks,
Kate
http://kes44p.blogspot.com/
February 6th, 2007 at 3:48 am
WOW! RQ, you must be loaded with energy! Don’t you need any sleep at night? Where and how do you find the time to do all things you do? Amazing!!! Do you have some time to enjoy your referral? O well, you find it somewhere I think ;-)
THANKS,THANKS,THANKS!!! Have a save trip.
February 6th, 2007 at 6:21 am
HI RQ
I so relate!
5 years ago when I was running a division of an American business here in the UK, my US boss couldn’t believe I was (a) pregnant and (b) not going to come back in 6 weeks (in the UK you have a statutory right to 6 months off). He simply couldn’t understand why I wasn’t going to be there immediately afterwards.
I was sitting in my office until midnight each night the week before the baby was due as an emergency project had to be completed and my replacement simply wasn’t up to snuff ( he refused to hire someone until a month before I was due!) Thus 4 days after giving birth (on a thursday…so monday) I was dealing with clients/the bank etc from home on no sleep. It was truly horrible. But we survived. Somehow workplaces often cannot cope with their employees personal lives changing – even when they know about it. They dig a hole in the ground and don’t want to look up.
Your online community will manage. I truly hope that you don’t let trying to do all things get in the way of enjoying this time, your family and preparing for your new arrival. All of us will totally understand if the blog goes down. We will survive…although we will miss your measured words!
All the very best in surviving this headache! And once again congrats on your referral.
Lid Nov 7 05
February 6th, 2007 at 7:31 am
RQ,
You are amazing! At least all the work travel ought to keep you busy and distracted while waiting for your TA. I too feel a bit sorry for the people coming around the bend because I lived on this site in the month or two before referral and somehow it kept me sane (at least I think I was sane).
I am just SO happy for you RQ—after all this work for other people you get the joy of it beig your turn!
Best,
Kim
DOR 2/1/07 it feels awesome to type that
http://www.3peanuts.blogspot.com
February 6th, 2007 at 8:11 am
Well, we will miss you, but must do our best without you. We have to. Best of luck at the job site. I hope they take it easy on you here, and especially when you are in China.
February 6th, 2007 at 8:53 am
For months I was reluctant to be real active in the job market, but it just got to a point where the freelance work had dwindled to a level I couldn’t make it work any more. So out I went looking for a real job. It started getting serious in late fall, as we we wondering if our referral would arrive in December, January or February.The dilemma from the start was what do I tell anyone. I’m going to start a job, and then a few months later take off for a few weeks. The Family Leave Act applies only if you’ve worked there a year.
I finally decided not to say anything during the interview process; it wasn’t relevant. When I got an offer, I again didn’t say anything. What was the point? I accept the offer contingent upon … Nah. Too risky. I need a job and a regular income. So again, I said nothing and took the job, which it turns out is a great job.
After a month or so of getting settled in and showing what I can do, I had lunch with my boss and told her about the pending adoption. At the time it was one of those, well, it could be this month, it might be next. Then we’ll travel 5-8 weeks later. I’ll need to be away probably 4-5 weeks minimum. Thankfully, she took it well, though she’s still a little miffed about the time off. When the referral came last week, she was great about it, though that might change when the reality of my absence sinks in.
Even so, it’s a scary. I have two weeks of vacation I can use, but that won’t cover it. The company doesn’t have to let me take unpaid time off, but I hope it will. We still have some negotiating to do.
The good news is my spouse has been with a company 7 years and will be taking about 4 months off, mostly unpaid after burning some vacation time.
So, RQ. I can relate to what you’re going thru. Hang in there. Nobody ever said this was going to be easy. And nobody was right!
February 6th, 2007 at 9:02 am
Hey RQ I sure do understand your situation! My boss has never been thrilled with my adoption plans. Now that I have my referral she is about to go into meltdown mode. I’m sure she will make my life miserable between now and the time I leave for China.
LID 9-29-05
Referral 2-1-07
February 6th, 2007 at 9:09 am
RQ,
You are a super woman…the song comes to mind “she brings home the bacon, fries it up in the pan”
I probably get done maybe 1/10 of what you do done in a day and I am exhausted.
Congrats on your new baby and best of luck for smooth travel and a great transition!
LID 9/29
Referral 2/1
February 6th, 2007 at 10:43 am
Don’t worry about us. You do what you need to do for your job and to bring your baby home. Good luck and thanks for all you’ve done.
February 6th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
RQ,
CONGRATULATIONS on your new baby!!!
I might have missed it before, but this is the first time I actually hear you say directly that you have a referral! (although we all knew, of course!) I am so happy for you and your family!
February 6th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Actually, now I see that you have already mentioned it (shopping baby clothes, and your boss). But congratulations again anyway! As other people have said too: I am more concerned about how we’ll manage without you (or with less of you), than I am worried about your boss… :-)
February 7th, 2007 at 11:32 am
RQ,
I thought I was busy these last few days since we rec’d our referral. You are simply amazing with all the multi-tasking you do!
I’m still hoping we meet in China…even if you do remain anonymous! (you could give us some hints! lol)
Keeping you in prayer at this very busy time!
God Bless you!
Judy
LID 9/26/05
DOR 2/1/07
b. 1/8/06
Marlee is 13 mo’s old tomorrow!
http://ourjourneytomarlee.blogspot.com
May 13th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Hi my name is Peggy Bollinger and I am blessed to have two beautiful daughters from China, Lindsi, 12 years, from Hunan Province, and Kelsi, 7 years, from Zhejiang Province. We adopted Lindsi through Pearl Buck Foundation at 6 months and Kelsi through {agency name} at 5 months. Lots of problems wtih {agency name}. Kelsi is special needs and was not supposed to be but oh how we are so incredibly blessed to have her in our lives. Did anyone else run into a similar problem with {agency name}. Proud and blessed mom Peggy