Comments on: Book Review: Basic Childrearing Books

By: RumorQueen

RumorQueen — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 14:38:55 +0000

I used the “What to expect” books as developmental guidelines books, not books about how to parent. There is a decent amount of parenting advice given, some of which I agreed with and some of which I did not. As with everything, when it came to actual parenting advice given I used what resonated with my parenting style and didn’t use the rest.

But, the developmental information in them was very very helpful with both girls.

By: frannysmom

frannysmom — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 14:35:37 +0000

Not to everyone’s taste, but I found Vicki Iovine’s Girlfriend’s Guide to Toddlers at least as helpful as the other books mentioned here. It’s funny and irreverent, but also full of a lot of practical advice for dealing with both toddlers and other toddlers’ parents (!). She writes as if toddlers are all loveable lunatics capable of driving the sanest person batty. I can see how some wouldn’t like her approach, but for me it was incredibly reassuring and very funny. Also maybe not so helpful if you are trying to deal with serious delays or other problems. But worth a look.

By: meghanj

meghanj — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 12:07:06 +0000

I also prefer Dr. Sears parenting books to the What to Expect series. They are more geared towards attachment parenting. I do like the milestone section in what to expect, however.

By: theups

theups — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 03:17:13 +0000

The “What to Expect” books are WONDERFUL!!! Since Elizabeth was coming from an orphanage, I was worried about her being behind developmentally. According to these books, she is right on target in every area.

Another book I have really loved is “Super Baby Food” by Ruth Yaron. WONDERFUL book about food for babies. I wanted to make sure that Elizabeth got the best food and Ms. Yaron’s recipes are simple to make. She does a great job of telling you how to prepare and freeze the homemade baby food, too.

His,
Mrs. U
LID 9-12-05
referral 1-4-07
“Gotcha” Day 2-25-07 for Elizabeth
http://www.makingahouseahome.blogspot.com

By: btdtwjoy

btdtwjoy — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 01:37:02 +0000

The milestones helped me understand what expectations were the norm at each stage too. My daughter was verbal, but had emotional delays that were difficult for me to explain to her day care providers; loving nurturing people who were definitely looking to me for guidance on this. Being able to comprehend that the separation anxiety most kids conquer by 18 mos or so was just kicking in around age 2 was tremendously valuable; other social things as well, so instead of regarding some misbehaviors as disobedient they was understood and dealt with as a naturally occuring development.
And I loved the specifics on food - the amounts I mean - took some of the edge off with my non-eater to realize that her paltry intake was actually ok, if not optimal.

By: hhbaby2

hhbaby2 — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 01:36:11 +0000

My favorite: Before we went to China, I read Penelope Leach’s book, Your Child From Birth to Age Five and it was (still is) a wonderful book that nails child development to a T. I started right at the beginning because I wanted to know everything she should have done at certain stages, and it was really helpful because although she was 13 months old, our daughter had the sleep habits of a 6-month-old and had literally never seen solid food before, so in terms of behavior I was dealing with a much younger baby. Leach has a reassuring but no-nonsense way of explaining why kids do what they do, and what your best response is. (She’s the British Spock.) I also refer to the AAP book RQ recommends above for illness-related stuff, and it’s great for that (watch their ideas on childhood nutrition, though–they’re a little outdated). I also used the What to Expect toddler book, but (apologies to all who love it) I was a little turned off by the undertone of negativity–every chapter seemed to focus on the problems that could crop up and spent little time on the joy your child was experiencing as she grew in her world. Just my 2Â¢. Overall, what worked for me was to have these 3 books and go to each for different things (Leach, What to Expect, the AAP guide).

By: doihear3

doihear3 — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 21:02:08 +0000

waitingforcelia:

You are too funny!
“I also find them a little too neurotic about food (fruit juice-sweetened ice cream?? I want my daughter to appreciate real, high-quality ice cream!) ”

That cracked me up! Yah none of this fruit juice sweetened Ice cream! We want the real thing!

By: msgator

msgator — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 19:50:30 +0000

I actually got the last book “Caring for your baby and young child” free from Publix (grocery store chain in Florida). So if there are in Florida parents out there, you may want to sign up for their baby club and then you can save some money by getting this book free!

By: lovemybulldog

lovemybulldog — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 19:28:48 +0000

I also love the What to Expect books and have them bookmarked 4 months behind our son-to-be’s current age. At 14 months in the orphanage, he wasn’t walking, but was reported to be a month ago at 16…developmentally right at a year with my “4 month rule”, right where the book benchmarks…They are indispensable!

I also really loved “What’s Going On In There” by Lise Elliot. It speaks to what happens in the brain from birth to three in a not so science-y way. It told me tons about what to expect to be “missing” from my child’s development from not having one on one parental bonding. It doesn’t refer to institutionalization at all, but our IA Ped recommended it and I love it.

By: frannysmom

frannysmom — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 19:20:11 +0000

About developmental stages, one kind of reassuring thing is that if you look in different books they all say slightly different things about what you can expect when. I found the “What to expect” book had rather low expectations for the most part–which was just fine because they helped me not to worry! The Early Intervention people who worked with us had much higher expectations and were somewhat alarming in what they expected our daughter to be able to do when (not a problem really, but it was kind of funny that they judged our daughter behind in ways that made me think most of my friends’ “normal” kids who were born to them would probably have been called “delayed” as well! Penelope Leach’s book (can’t remember the title) also is very reassuring, with lovely pictures. It is important to keep in mind that even regardless of a history of institutionalization, all kids develop in different ways. The guidelines are useful, but you have to keep in mind that they are only very general guidelines and most kids, even with their families from birth and given every advantage, will have their own combination of strengths and weaknesses.

I think if you have a lot of experience with kids, books like these wouldn’t be needed so much. But dh and I were clueless and although dh insists he can figure anything out on his own, I think they were very helpful for all three of us!