The “Slow Period” for Rumors
Every month we have that period of time where there are no rumors. And, even if there are early rumors they likely aren’t very credible.
Last month I did a lot of book reviews to try to fill in that time, but that seemed to annoy a lot of people. Is there anything ya’ll would like to have a conversation about?
As a reminder, Tuesday (tomorrow) we will have a More Babies! post for those with a referral that isn’t a part of the China NSN referral batches. But I’m open for suggestions for other posts you’d like to see this week.
September 17th, 2007 at 7:26 am
I’m so sorry people were annoyed about you book reviews, I liked them a lot and think they benefit our coming children, and the children we already have. I hope you want to continue doing things like that in the future! (You people who are not interested could maybe just skip the reeding…?)
September 17th, 2007 at 7:45 am
Annoyed? That’s sad.
September 17th, 2007 at 7:50 am
I personally liked the book reviews too, even though we have already adopted once. There were some books you had listed that I had not read. I escially wish I had read “Siblings Without Rivalry” since our son was 7 when we adopted his sister. We’ll certainly need to read it before we come home with their new sister! Which may be a while with a LID of 7/6/06. UGH.
September 17th, 2007 at 7:53 am
I am with the others I liked the book reviews. I just wish I could find them in my local library. (I like to read before I buy.)
September 17th, 2007 at 7:59 am
I think the book reviews were very helpful and a great reminder that while we wait, we should do our research.
Sorry if this has been asked recently, but RQ, are you going to do another poll fairly soon?
Thanks for all you do!
September 17th, 2007 at 8:17 am
Just wanted to say I appreciated the book reviews and found a couple of new titles in your posts.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:22 am
I liked the book reviews. I’ve read some of the books already– but with all this time, I can read some more.
I think folks are annoyed period. The increasing wait, rule changes– fears tend to creep into one’s mind. Folks hope to find a glimmer of what to expect on your site– but you can only do/report with what you have.
I appreciate all your efforts including the book reviews– and video reviews. I plan to order the Ebee stuff– I had never heard of it!
I think it might also be important for folks to learn more about China and its history. I have read several books along that thread. Ones that I really liked include:
Wild Swans– an anthology of 3 generations of women. The book is well written and reads like a flowing novel. I learned a lot about China and how it has changed (and not changed) over the past several decades.
Bound Feet and Western Dress– biography of a Chinese woman who was the first to be legally divorced. Very interesting read.
River Town– true story of one young teacher’s experience teaching in Fuling (as I recall) shortly after China opened-up after the cultural revolution.
On Gold Mountain– by Lisa See– Same author of Snowflower and the Secret fan. This book is a true account of her family and their life in America after immigrating. Also a good read.
NOW, I CAN’T WAIT TO GET IN THE RUMORS!!!!!!!!!!
I’m starting to get buggy— only 3-4 more months.
I CAN’T STAND IT!!!!!!!
LID /12/20/05
September 17th, 2007 at 8:23 am
Oh, here’s another idea-
Packing lists for the trip;
Places to shop/see while in China;
Things to buy to remember and give as gifts to your daughter as she grows-up.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:25 am
There were lots of “if I see another book review I’m going to scream” comments scattered around. Maybe it’s just that people wanted rumors when there weren’t any, but it felt like having a theme of doing the same type of thing during the “no rumros” period was more annoying than helpful. I had considered doing a series of posts every month with the theme idea – one month talk about a different dynasty every day and give a history lesson, another month do a series on sensory issues, another month do a series on cool places to visit in China, that kind of thing. But, it seems that the series idea didn’t work very well last month, so I’d reconsidered doing that.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:25 am
I’ll chime in here too. I truly enjoyed the book reviews and purchased 3 that you recommended. Thanks!
September 17th, 2007 at 8:28 am
AndreaB- Have you tried special ordering thru your local library? Any books my local doesn’t have, they order for me thru the library network. I read lots of great books (even hard to find) this way. I am a huge library fan.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:34 am
I did not read the book reviews. Why? I am Dutch and do not read English books ;-)
But it never annoyed me, I just skiped them! When I checked this site and saw an other book review, I thought: “Damn… a book review… no rumours.”
I think it is great to review books. When it were reviews of Dutch books, it definitely would have had my interest.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:35 am
Please do the theme idea. I love that! If people don’t want to have to read those posts they can skip them. I think it would be great to get information about China’s history, customs, etc. I agree that I think people were just antsy about rumors. With a 12/05/05 LID I am going crazy this month for rumors, but I would love to see theme posts to keep my mind of the fact that there aren’t any rumors.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:37 am
I personally would really enjoy a series on China’s history. Or Chinese inventions/inovations. Or like, C4E was writing, book reviews about China history.
You can’t make everyone happy all of the time. I think you do a great job here. :-)
September 17th, 2007 at 8:39 am
Perhaps people prefer ‘dead air’? Just kidding. I think the book reviews were jsut fine but symbolic of the fact that there was nothing else to talk about…. I think that’s what people were annoyed with. But as Calamity4e says, I think people are just annoyed period. I wouldn’t take it too personally, RQ.
What I think is sad is people who are waiting for their child with their heads buried in the sand, not learnig everything they can about their child’s culture, language and history, special needs relating to abandonment, attachment and trauma, issues of race and so on. Now that is what is really annoying! Take this time (the never ending wait) and read, read, read! It will be one of the biggest gifts you can give your child. I wish I had done a whole lot more while waiting for dd#1, instead of having to do the crash courses (and I was pretty well prepared!).
I think anything you do, RQ, that helps people to be better parents is wonderful even if it does annoy a few. Last time I checked, reading RQ is not mandatory anyway!
Thanks for everything,
Pavella
September 17th, 2007 at 8:55 am
I am so sorry that others didn’t enjoy the reviews. I liked many of your recommendations, many of which I had never heard of before. I will really miss this if it is not done again, but I understand that perhaps I may be in the minority (although, many of the posters here make me think otherwise). I like to “arm” myself with as much knowledge as possible, and this, for me, was even more therepeutic than the rumors. I can do absolutely nothing about the rumors, but gain as much information as possible to help my daughter…….that I CAN control and make myself at least feel as though I am doing something useful during this agonizing wait.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:56 am
I like to read, and the book reviews were good, but ultimately I’m looking for rumors. I guess I’d say RQ you don’t have to always fill the void of the wait. It is certainly hard to wait, but it is not your responsibility to keep us distracted.
I feel that you are offering a tremendous service in what you provide already. And I am thankful for that.
September 17th, 2007 at 9:02 am
I don’t chime in often but on this I’ll chime in.
As someone who regularly read books and did book reviews on my blog, I definitely support this. I did it for the first YEAR of waiting and then got burnt out on books. But now is the time I’d like to start again so I’d love to see some more.
Likewise on the history/theme idea.
September 17th, 2007 at 9:06 am
While I do come here for the rumors, I also come here to learn. I think it’s a wonderful community full of very educated people. I have learned more about China, the adoption process, attachment, etc from this site than any other source. I’d love to learn more about any topic, and I think it’s a wonderful idea to have an “educational” period during these slow times. I know I still have much to learn!
September 17th, 2007 at 9:06 am
I liked the book reviews too! Wouldn’t mind more at all. Maybe it is like with college teaching–when you read student evaluations, the good ones don’t stick in your mind for a second, but the bad ones echo for ages.
Would love discussion of cool places to visit in China.
Also would love discussion of Chinese food–how to find good Chinese restaurants around the world, different food traditions in China, etc.
Also how about discussion of the new industry devoted to adoptees and their families travelling back to the country of their birth? Maybe a report on the CCAA’s summer camp.
Just some ideas.
September 17th, 2007 at 9:10 am
I loved the book reviews and the DVDs. I printed the pages to save and buy and read a little closer to referral. I also love the suggestions for novels. I read Wild Swans and China Wakes back to back–they work nicely together to get a history of the 20th century. I would love more history of the earlier dynasty periods. I agree with the earlier post. RQ, you do not have to keep us entertained during the lulls.
September 17th, 2007 at 9:11 am
Your book reviews inspired me to buy two books. It’s hard to think people were annoyed. Maybe they’re just frustrated from the long wait for referrals.
September 17th, 2007 at 9:23 am
I’d also like to say that I enjoyed the book reviews, most of which I’d already read. Although I hadn’t read Siblings Without Rivalry until reading the reviews of it, its now in my ‘to be read pile’ :-)
I think it really is one of those ‘you can’t please everyone’ kind of issues – people do come here looking for information/rumours and perhaps they just get frustrated when there aren’t any. But they would probably get frustrated with whatever you posted, or frustrated that you weren’t posting anything! The wait IS frustrating!!
Gertiesquidge
UK DTC 10th August 2007
http://offtochinaoneday.blogspot.com/
September 17th, 2007 at 9:27 am
RQ- I was one of those that was annoyed with the book reviews though in a funny somewhat sarcastic way because I am so darn close and all I want right now is a rumor, any rumor and I’ve felt that way for the last 2 months.
I wait patiently for this page to load and ‘oh…another book review, grrr”. Please do not take this personally. I have taken these reviews to heart and have already purchased the “Siblings without Rivlary” and “Pocketfull of Kisses” (the “kissing hand” by this same (latter) author is fabulous and DD still has me kiss her hands when she goes to school to a friends, etc. )
In short, I do take your recommendations to heart all of them, book reviews and all – JUST…WANT…A….RUMOR (instead) :-)
AT (11/30 LID)
September 17th, 2007 at 9:27 am
I liked the book reviews too. But I would like to hear more about traveling to China. This will be our first trip outside the U.S. and I wonder about what to buy, what to wear and I wonder about thing that are offensive in Cina that we here in the U.S. think are ok. For example, I fear saying something that would be considered rude. And what about safety?
September 17th, 2007 at 9:35 am
Hi RQ-
First of all, you do such a wonderful job, in my opinion, nobody should say ANYTHING negative to you. You do a great service to thousands of us. If people don’t like something, then they can just leave the page for the day! No big deal! Anyway, I would LOVE for you to do some posts that have to deal with either the “fear” of the whole thing and/or packing lists etc. I am LID 11/30/05 and although I am so excited to get our daughter that I could scream, and I am so desperately hoping that we are next. But, depite my excitement of finally FINALLY hopefully getting our referral, I am also fearful of so many things now!—will we end up traveling over Christmas (and leaving our 4 year old at home), what if we bring the wrong things, don’t have with us the “ONE” thing that we need, what if we get supper-dupper sick while in China, what if I can’t log onto the internet to check in with family, or can’t find a good phone connection to call my son at home (whom I will need to call constantly–more for my missing him than for his missing mama). I know that I should just go with the flow, and since it has been almost three years since we applied, I have learned quite nicely how to do just that…..until now, when we are so close to going… Any suggestions RQ would be soooooooooooo helpful! And, please post a packing list that you relied on!!! Thanks so much…..and, do you think we will be next????
September 17th, 2007 at 10:00 am
I enjoyed the book reviews and would also enjoy the theme ideas. I don’t think people didn’t like the reviews-they are just so anxious for rumors that anything but that is a slight disappointment
September 17th, 2007 at 10:05 am
I thought the book reviews were great too.Keep them up! I also want to know about summer camps. My child is only 2 now but next summer and every summer after, my DH and I would like to take her to a China based learning camp. If you could give us some reviews on which ones are good or even if they actually exist, that would be great! We would like to make it our special trip every year till she gets to be a teen and decideds it just isn’t cool any more to go with your parents on vacation .LOL
September 17th, 2007 at 10:05 am
As for me, I would rather have book reviews than false rumors , but that’s just me. And if you write nothing, RQ, I think, where is our faithful RQ? So I’m in favor of the general interest conversation during the lulls. I was a bit non-plussed by all the books I am NOT reading, but I think it’s a bit a read-as-you-go business after you’ve gotten through the basic adoption books.
In terms of topics, I’m rather interested in the multi-cultural aspects of adoption. I hesitate to say this because we can get into ultrasensitive material here. On the other hand, I hear so many parents discussing their celebration of Chinese culture and frankly, with my 5 year-old, it’s really hard to get her interest. There are so many other things that a little girl wants to learn. I’ve done the Meimei videos and books, etc., and she doesn’t really care. I myself am studying Mandarin, simply because I love the intellectual challenge and I think in some ways this is the best way. We make the possibility of knowing China available to her, but we don’t force it on her.
I am not so very insecure about handling this issue at this age. I am more intrigued by the different reactions to the heritage that children may have as the grow little to medium-size to big. What are other parents’ experiences? And in particular, what’s the good, the bad and the ugly of what may lie ahead for us as parents? If we can have a fruitful, non-judgmental discussion about this, I would really love it. Or if you have some book reviews or movies on the subject, I am still one interested RQ fan.
September 17th, 2007 at 10:12 am
I may have said something about the book reviews only because I was expecting my referral last batch and every time there was a book review it meant I didn’t have my baby yet! Please don’t take it personally. I actually loved the book reviews and bought several of the books that I didn’t already have. ; ) I sort of have a book addiction. Anyway, I’d prefer a series on your blog rather than “dead air.” I like the ones already suggested as well as the Chinese history idea. Also, how about some parenting tips for us first time parents? Now that I DO have my referral I’ll be more patient about the blog entries. And, I’m starting to be nervous about the actual parenting of a real baby.
September 17th, 2007 at 10:13 am
I am fortunate in that I have people in my life who have adopted previously – so they know better than to ask the “Any news?” question – instead they ask “What’s new on RQ?” When I told them about RQ’s book reviews they were so impressed the RQ would take the time to do this – and they were interested in several of the books! I say bring on the reviews – it is always exciting to see a new post! :)
September 17th, 2007 at 10:13 am
I enjoyed the reviews, wrote some of them down with authors to keep in my purse and pick up as I see them. Some I had seen before but several were new to me, So thanks RQ.
September 17th, 2007 at 10:19 am
Just a note that I added a Book Recommendations link at the top right that has all of the book links in one place. A lot of people talked about making notes so I just wanted to point out that I do have them all together in case you want to go back and look again. The reviews are linked on the page, too.
It sounds like most do like the theme idea. Honestly it just seemed like the theme idea was making the slow period harder instead of easier and I don’t want to do that. But, if that wasn’t the case then I can certainly do that in future months.
September 17th, 2007 at 10:26 am
RQ,
I loved the book reveiws. I bought 2 of the books you reccommended & will be looking for the Weavers Craft now that we have our referral.
I also love the history theme idea. My husband is the history buff in or family and I would love to be able to say “Did you know that…?” ;)
September 17th, 2007 at 10:40 am
Like at least one person mentioned so far, I would love to see an updated LID poll. Either daily beyond Jan 13, or esle monthly (to see if the purportedly “smaller’ months of Jan 06 and Feb 06 have grown).
September 17th, 2007 at 10:41 am
RQ – Do as many down-time discussions, reviews and themes as you have the time, energy and inclination to do – I will be thrilled to learn from them. My concern is that you will burn out and stop doing this – and we (LID 4/13/07) have such a long wait ahead of us!
September 17th, 2007 at 10:44 am
Here is the discussion on timing of the next poll
http://chinaadopttalk.com/forum/index.php?topic=9808.0
September 17th, 2007 at 10:50 am
I agree that the book reviews and future theme discussions are helpful. Yes, I would RATHER get a rumor, but I definitely prefer a thought provoking post about a good book or other topic, to clicking on RQ only to see a post from 3 days ago as there were no rumors to report. That’s my 2 cents.
September 17th, 2007 at 10:52 am
Let me preface this by saying that I love your comments, insights, reviews, and writing style, RQ. But as a way to fill the slow-rumor periods, have you considered a guest blogger? You could bring in people each month with varied specialties (language professors, adult adoptees, folks who have lived in China, chefs, whatever!) — then you have something interesting going on, and you don’t have to be the one who takes the brunt of all the “I only want rumors” comments! This is definitely NOT because I don’t want to hear from you, because I’ve learned a LOT from you here. I just thought it might give you a bit of a break and let you network with some interesting folks.
Stacy
LID 12-7-05
September 17th, 2007 at 11:03 am
Speaking of Chinese History..The Learning Company advertised a 36 lecture (I think it is 36) series on China’s History (on CD or download) that looks really good, and it was advertised as being on sale last week…for any seriously interested folks, check it out. I’ve only heard good things about these courses.
September 17th, 2007 at 11:04 am
well, i think i got the name of the company wrong–it is NOT “The Learning Company….” I’ll figure it out and repost it. Sorry.
September 17th, 2007 at 11:04 am
I think the book reviews were great and obviously took alot of your time RQ. Personally I didn’t read too many because we are so far away from referral. But I did note down titles for future reference.
I think a discussion about what makes folks attrit would be interesting. Our agency has mentioned divorce, finances, and of course going with another program. As the time lengthens, these causes will factor in more often.
Thanks.
kz
September 17th, 2007 at 11:09 am
Any interest in discussing Mandarin/Chinese language, learning tools, continuing education once the girls are in their new home country?
I’m just getting my feet wet on this and finding that this is an area where (as a group) our girls are still forging new ground. BoPoMoFo, Mandarin, Cantonese, reading vs writing, the tones….its overwhelming!
September 17th, 2007 at 11:14 am
Sorry for previous brain fart…the course is from The Teaching Company, called “From Yao to Mao: 5000 Years of Chinese History”…too much in my brain lately!
September 17th, 2007 at 11:24 am
RQ – I enjoyed the book reviews, and would really LOVE discussion on Chinese history, culture, and tourism. I have lots of time to learn about China (with a 4/07 LID), and am trying to do so. It is frustrating during the “no rumors” time for us addicts, and I’m grateful to you for filling in the gaps each month.
September 17th, 2007 at 11:28 am
I, too, have a job where I have to come up with brilliant and clever and interesting :) things to say several times a week, and sometimes I know how difficult that can be! So it must be a drain when there are no rumors and you need to blog so that people know you are still out there.
I wrote down the names of all the books you reviewed and thought that was a great idea.
Maybe sometimes, to take the heat off of you, you can just post, “there are no new rumors, guys, but I’m still here, alive and well, and promise not to desert you and promise I will be here forever and ever, or at least until the very last China adoption takes place, and promise to hold your hands (all gazillion of them) through the entire process, and promise to stroke you through the hard times, and cheer with you through the great times, and promise if you’re ever sick, I’ll hold your hair back while you barf, and promise…”
:) Dev
September 17th, 2007 at 11:29 am
Im home with baby but I think maybe it would be interesting to do attachment and bonding issues since most of us will expereince that eventually. Another area of interest is travel tips or must do and see’s in China.
Just an idea!
Christy :)
http://www.tomiawithlove.blogspot.com
September 17th, 2007 at 11:36 am
I liked the book reviews and have picked out a few from there I plan on buying. I like the theme idea and it’s not like you won’t post a rumor when one comes. Maybe people want to scream because they log on everyday and don’t see a rumor, but that has nothing to do with you, RQ-so do some themes-I liked the topics you already thought about!
September 17th, 2007 at 11:43 am
I loved the book reviews. With so many books on adoption it was a bit overwhelming on which one to pick. I have purchased two that you suggestedd and started reading them and am so glad I have them. I think future topics could be on music we did that a while ago it was fun what was everyones favorites were, also chinese culture or language woulde be interesting. Child rearing in general would be nice also tiprs from BTDT about behavior issues or life at home are always helpful.
RQ: Thanks for all that you do, it is greatly appreciated.
September 17th, 2007 at 11:44 am
I loved the book reviews! Thanks for taking the time. Another list that I would love to see is books for children (not adoption themed) that have a Chinese focus. We are eager to introduce our bio daughter to things Chinese well before we go to China. For example, we found a great Chinese New Year alphabet book. Anyone have any suggstions?
September 17th, 2007 at 11:47 am
RQ, I love that you are expanding this site to include teaching and informing people about adoption and China and the lot, for a few reasons.
We have all been saddened by the situations of families not ready to receive or help their babies after such a long wait. You are doing a great service in educating those who don’t know they need educated, or don’t know where to start.
For those who are more inclined to seek out the info they need, you (CHAT) are becoming a resource center.
Some seek greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them. You are a golden light in a dark place.
September 17th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Hello, If you have already addressed this issue please forgive me, however I keep hearing rumors that the Olympics will have an impact on the adoption process.
Does anyone have any insight as to what will happen during the Olympics in tems of delays? Thanks, JJ
September 17th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Thanks for the link on the book reviews, I was also making notes and researching books that would fit our family and am glad that I can still find a good source.
The theme idea sounds great, thank you for all you do.
September 17th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
I like any info. you can give to help us educate ourselves – I ordered books you reviewed and look forward to seeing any other topics you might want to share with us. As many others have said, if someone is not interested, they can skip over it, I’ll look forward to becoming more informed about my child’s homeland, adoption issues, etc.
September 17th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
I like the idea of travel and food in China.
September 17th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
Themes are a great idea RQ. I think people always get restless at this time of the month….Hopefully some rumors will start appearing at the end of the week (although to be fair we have already had some early rumors). Thank-you for all your thoughtfulness that you put into the site…CTG. Waiting for TA…
September 17th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
Re: the Olympics – I haven’t heard anything to make me think anything different than what is reported in the first paragraph of this post from December:
http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/12/05/various-things-2/
September 17th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
Let me also say that I LOVE the book reviews!!! As somebody who spends a lot of money on obscure books I have come to rely on reviews of my peers before I dish out the cash.
Not that adoption books are obscure but there many to choose from and knowing other’s reactions and opinions helps me make an informed choice/purchase.
Also, let me second the person who suggested “special ordering” your books through the library. Yes it is an awesome FREE service that most libraries offer. The “official” term is Interlibrary Loan or ILL. My library lets you keep the books for 3 weeks with one renew for 3 more weeks. (Actually, let me say it is *usually* free. I had to pay $13 to ILL a 1934 master’s thesis as that is the ONLY copy in existance.)
Anyway, if we’re voting count me for more book reviews. You don’t have to read them.
September 17th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
I like anything I read but as the time dwindles away at a snails pace, I would like to know how old the children are when they go to solid food , packing list, and things you should do or never do while in china? What was a waste dragging along and what you really wish someone had told you. And maybe most embarrassing or funniest moments. I think I will shoot for the light hearted.
September 17th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
I’d like to hear/discuss more China’s human rights issues. I notice there is a trend in many China adoption forums to become solely pro-China in discussions, or at least avoid anything negative. While I do understand the desire to avoid the concept of “saving” a child, it does make me feel better, and keeps me going through
September 17th, 2007 at 1:02 pm
RQ, I liked the book reviews. And I like the idea of themes.
One topic I would like to explore further is attachment. Nothing beats the first hand experiences of people on this blog / forum. In particular, I’d be interested in hearing more about the most effective things we can do to start attachment during our trip to China.
Thanks for everything RQ. This site is great.
September 17th, 2007 at 1:03 pm
(continued)
…keeps me going though these long stretches, that I will be helping someone avoid many of these struggles.
September 17th, 2007 at 1:03 pm
I check out your site for rumors and really appreciate what you do to provide us all with the latest rumors. Regarding book reviews and recommendations I do prefer to use Amazon as I can read several in-depth reviews and find just the right books for my family; however I do appreciate your efforts. Others have mentioned other topics, like packing. There are so many sites with packing lists that it doesn’t really seem necessary to repeat that here. You’ve done a great job with rumors and that’s what I want to see when I head to your site. All of these things are important, but maybe they can be separated out like you do with the blog you have on your girls.
September 17th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
With a 12/5/05 LID, I’m with the others who would like to know about China travel, food and customs but I’m game for input on any topics. I just enjoy staying connected with other people on this same slow boat to China. I so relate to the person who was doing well passing the time until her LID got close. Now I’m finding it next to impossible to be patient! I guess I’ll go finish reading the two books I purchased based on last months book reviews :)
September 17th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Here’s my two cents, if people have a problem with the book reviews, they don’t have to read them! In addition to the wonderful topics already listed, perhaps a discussion of how to celebrate Gotcha Day. Also, maybe some good Chinese recipes that we can make in the US (no weird ingredients…)
September 17th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Hello Everyone
I know there are alot of creative and crafty people out there how about sharing pics of the quilts you have made for your daughters and sons and other people. How about sharing your craziest stories with us?
Just a few suggestions.
September 17th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
I am sad to hear that some people gave you the impression that book reviews are disliked. I think we are very many that want them! Personally, I have enjoyed the book discussions even if I come from a different country/language. Maybe people from different countries could be inspired to share good adoption books in their country forums?
I love the idea of different topics in the quiet period of each month. Please do! Chinese history, Chinese Language, Places to see, Things to buy, Psychological issues, whatever!
September 17th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Hi, I love to read anything to do with adoption, China, parenting, bonding, etc. We have a 4 yr old from China who is asking for her baby sister everyday. Our LID is June 06, 2007 and we have a long way to go. Reading RQ is one way to ease the long wait. Bring on the book reviews, themes, babies, etc.
September 17th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
I like the theme of travel the best! I know you have done two posts before. One on currency and one on shopping/bargaining. But I would love more. I will be traveling in (approx.) January, and these would be helpful to everyone.
Thank you for all you do, RQ. I am sorry people have been rude to you lately. I don’t think they really hate you, they are just very frustrated about the whole adoption. Nevertheless, it’s still uncalled for.
Lilly
September 17th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
I liked the book reviews!
I really like the theme idea!
I think we should have topics to discuss that are intresting, informative, and useful during the dry rumor period to keep us from going to those controversial topics that never get us anywhere.
I also think people are just annoyed period, but they shoudln’t take it out on you. Do they really think you would post a book review if you had a rumor of substance?!
Althoough I think it is obvious, you could start the post with – NO NEW RUMORS, SO LET’S DISCUSS xxxx.
Keep these interesting posts coming1
September 17th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
I have learned so much from this site and from you, RQ. I absolutely love the book reviews (I have ordered most of them, some I already had). I think any of the other themes listed (travel tips, Chinese history, attachment) would be all great topics!
September 17th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
RQ, everything you’ve done is fantastic. I plan on purchasing a few of the attachment books when our time gets closer.
I would like to second the recommendation of a guest blogger. Perhaps somebody on-the-ground (e.g., HTS, Love Without Boundaries, Chinese Starfish) could provide a description of their work and then allow people to ask questions on this site?
September 17th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
Thanks RQ for all you do!
I think that travel tips would be a great idea!!
LID 12-20-05
September 17th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
I bought every book on that book review and I even bought two of the cute the “Girlfriends Guide to…” books that other people talked about in their comments. I was all about the book reviews!
September 17th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
I was just thinking…what about discussing the box of goodies we want to send to our baby when we get the referral?
I’m thinking a framed picture of my husband, myself and the dogs, some baby lotion, and a disposable camera. I also got her a super cute really soft blanket. I was even thinking of sleeping with it for a few nights so it smells like me (don’t worry–from what I’m told, I smell pretty good).
What about treats for the people working in the orphanage or foster care? Do you think we could talk about this topic a bit?
September 17th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Of course, we all want all prefer some news, but I thought the book reviews were interesting and helpful. Thanks RQ!!
An idea to fill in some of the rumor-less days…I would be interested in the results of a poll to see how many BTDT parents brought home children who had been in an orphange vs.foster care…and from which regions?
Would that be possible?
Susan-Atlanta
LID 7/28/06
September 17th, 2007 at 4:02 pm
Being that many will be faced with the unfortunate decision of whether to change countries, how about a discussion of what other country programs are running well/badly? For example, Guatemala will soon shut down and they are currently raiding foster homes where many already-referred babies are being kept. Taiwan running well but filling up fast. Kazakhstan smooth but expensive and travel is lengthy. Vietnam open again and agencies getting licensed. Etc.
September 17th, 2007 at 4:53 pm
It could be interested to learn more about the adoption process in different countries. Most of parents on China Adopt are from US and I don’t know too much about adoption in USA. Of course, I know how it works in my country, France, but I would love if you could present on a regular basis a new country.
I think important to know and compare in order not to say something stupid about other countries. For example most of people in Europe think that in US, future parents choose their babies in a book.
We all suffer from ignorance from people not directly involved, so if we know more about each other it would probably hepl the whole community.
I am sure you will find easily members to help you to rpesent each country concerned on your website.
September 17th, 2007 at 5:01 pm
How about helpful information on Waiting children..different medical issues and advise..Traveling experiences you’ve heard about, what it’s like to stay for two weeks in China (is the experience similar to what NSN adoptive parents experience? What hotels do we stay in? Do we have the same kind of support when we get there?
Thanks.
September 17th, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Yes, I would LOVE to hear more about the adoption process in different countries, especially the ones where most international adoptees from China end up. I find it interesting that a lot of my friends in the US think that it is only really Americans who adopt from other countries. When I mention families in Spain or France adopting children from China they are so surprised. I have learned a lot from this site and others, but in a very piecemeal fashion over the years. I would love to hear more. This fascinates me. I would also love to hear what people think about the idea of what connections there might be one day among our kids from China who live in so many countries. Will they ever get to meet at an “international kids from china summer camp”?
But whatever you do, RQ, I am sure it will be great. Just talking about what we’d like is a nice change from waiting for rumors. Of course that is what I want most of all, rumors. But life goes on!
September 17th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
The square is blue, RQ. The square is blue.
Part of me would love to see discussion on things like topics that families deal with between referral and travel, travel related, tips for handling baby on planes and in hotels, transitioning baby: daycare, language, food, family… etc., but I know those are all controversial topics, too that could go in all sorts of directions…
So for now, I’ll say that I also very much enjoyed the book and video reviews. They were a way to escape from the chaos that tends to surround “rumor time” and they were very informative.
September 17th, 2007 at 5:42 pm
RQ, I love your blog. Someone else suggested guest bloggers. Great Idea as a filler. Would love to hear inside perspective on the IA process, perhaps from agency workers. A guest blog from someone in the IA trenches in China would be a treat.
Also, would love to hear from other parents on the challenges of raising aisan children in non-asian households and communities.
September 17th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
Loved, loved, loved, the Book Reviews….. :)
September 17th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
RQ – I for one found the book and video reviews very helpful. There are several that you recommended that I think I will buy when it gets closer to the time when we go to China. I’m especially interested in the signing book. I thought it was a good idea and would enjoy a series of anything you pick. I think it’s nice to have something to read on the site when the rumors are slow.
When not communicating face-to-face, it’s easy to say things you would never otherwise say. Perhaps that’s what happened to the folks who appeared “annoyed”.
I like the idea of challenges of raising Asian children in non-Asian families. What challenges have occurred when their children went to school, church, other activities, etc. I’ve read trans-racial books and we’ve considered the schools she would attend looking at the demographics. I’ve also read about some folks having issues with school projects about family trees. For those who already have Asian children, it would be nice to know if they have any suggestions or feedback.
Any topic works for me though. Keep up the good work, RQ!
September 17th, 2007 at 6:10 pm
RQ —
I loved the book reviews and purchased two of the books!
I just want to say a big THANK YOU for everything you do — I have learned soooo much from your site.
Thanks again.
Juli
LID 11/30/05
September 17th, 2007 at 7:35 pm
I love the theme idea. I learn so much here and feel more knowledgable about this whole process. I am often amazed by the lack of knowledge of other PAP’s when I go to gatherings. I almost find myself ready to say… “ohhh, I get it, you don’t read RQ…”
An idea I have is possibly to add a post here and there targeted to the friends and families of PAP’s. I know mine have started to frequent this site and maybe a list or suggestions of do’s and don’ts could benefit them. It would be easier to swallow coming from you, a virtual “stranger” than me, “an overprotective mom-to-be” as I already been called! Just a thought… (or favor!!)
September 17th, 2007 at 7:56 pm
RQ Thanks for the book reviews. I found them helpful.
As a soon to be first time parent, I would love to hear recommendations on recipes and food issues. What to feed a baby, a toddler, an older child? My dh and I have gotten in such a rut with ordering fast food and fixing just sandwiches at home. When I was young, we ate a lot of meatloaf, soup and fried chicken. LOL I am not a natural cook and would love recipes (simple Chinese) and healthy easy to make stuff that children will eat. I need to seriously look into properly feeding a growing child.
September 17th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
i like the reviews also and bought one of the books you mentioned. i also just ordered on-line 2 of the books someone else talked about in their comment. i’m always looking for something new to read.
quick question – i’m new to this site and i’m getting stuck on some of the abbreviations – do you have a spot where they are defined??
thanks.
September 17th, 2007 at 8:10 pm
slb – look to the right of your screen and click on Faq. The abbreviations and their meanings are there.
RQ – I really liked the book reviews. If you were discussing a book I already have, I just skimmed over it. I am an avid reader and it seems that most of what I have read in the past year is adoption related. I am always looking for new books to read. I also like the theme idea.
September 17th, 2007 at 9:43 pm
Any ideas on why TAs for Waiting Children have slowed to a crawl? It seems that anyone with an April 2007 or later LID is waiting 100+++ days.
September 18th, 2007 at 7:20 am
dutchdeb and all other foreigners – I checked for example the book “Siblings without Rivlary” and found it translated to both Swedish and Finnish in our library! Go and check with our local librarys and read the books in your languages.
Thank you RQ for the bookreviews, some of the books are so good that they are available in other languages than english.
I liked the idea of themes and hope you reconsider.
September 18th, 2007 at 7:20 pm
RQ,
I would love to see a discussion on the subjest of IA as a whole. It seems as though many countries are having a lot of trouble and have slowed to a crawl or stopped. A discussion on this would be facinating.
Adomom