Sleep
After yesterday’s discussion about bed times I decided to do some research, according to Kidshealth.org, here are the sleep requirements for the various age groups:
- 6-12 Months: 14 hours a day (nap plus night)
- 1-3 years: 10 to 13 hours
- Preschoolers: 10 to 12 hours
- 6-9 years: 10 hours
- 10-12 years: over 9 hours, up to parents to judge
- Teens: 8 to 9.5 hours
If my girls go right to sleep, they are getting 11 hours at night. They don’t usually do that, so we’ll say they are getting 10.5 or so hours a night. Most days TwinkleToes gets an hour to an hour and a half nap on top of that. So, with their current bedtime, it seems we’re pretty much on target with the guidelines.
(And no, I don’t have any rumors about the next batch right now, the only thing I see out there is that a November family was recently questioned by the review room, so they apparently are not done with November yet).
January 24th, 2008 at 10:24 am
What is the sleep requirement for 40-45 year olds?
January 24th, 2008 at 10:34 am
When I was looking into the whole sleep thing the one consistent thing that every expert seemed to qualify their conclusions with was that all kids are different and there can be a big range in what children need.
January 24th, 2008 at 10:35 am
ARW…the same as your child…LOL…
Thanks RQ…great information. We are celebrating in my household that my Natalie (after two months with us) is sleeping from 8:30 pm till 5:00 am last night+ two 30 minute naps…this is the best she has ever done (even according to her notes at referral)…and this is still only about 10 hours…so she is clearly falling short. However, since I see improvement I am going with this (ARW-I definately would like this much sleep if I could get it LOL)…I believe some children can go on less sleep…my Natalie is happy and thriving during the day; no major meltdowns (when she does have them its at night,not during the day and that has not happenned for awhile now)…my eldest was the same at 12 months…far less sleep, but a very happy child during the day…At 14 she probably is sleeping more or less within the guidelines (sometimes more) and my five year old is definately (and always has met the above guidelines)…Sometimes, I think its just the personality of the child too…some kids need more sleep; others less. My five year old is ++ active and I think this is why she needs more…
January 24th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Our DD (just Turned 3) Is ‘usually’ in bed by 7:30-8:00pm Gets up by 6:30-7:00am So that is 10.5 on the Low Side.
Then she has about an hour or so Nap at 12:30 in the afternoon
so Average about 11.5
You can tell when she is a bit deprived. She is (knock on wood) one of the easiest children to put to bed. If its 6:30pm and she is tired. She will tell us that she wants a story and then she wants to sleep. And she is alseep by 6:40!
Can only hope the nexe one is like that!
January 24th, 2008 at 11:42 am
scooter133, here the same thing when our DD was 3, but…. our DD is 4,5 now and very often she does not want to go to bed any more! “I do not want to go to sleep!” But she goes when we say: ÿes, you have to go, it is late”, or: “yes, you have to go, because tomorrow you have to go to school.” A big ’sigh’ and up she goes. Sometime we do not have to read her a story, because she does not want to. She is to tired, she said.
I am with you on our next one!!!
January 24th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Since we are now 24 months into what we were told would be an 8 month wait, and since it seems we are probably still 8 months away from a referral, sleep time for children is the last thing on our minds right now.
January 24th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Whew! Thank you RQ from the incompetent parenting contingency! I was really feeling bad reading some of those bedtime report posts yesterday. My almost 2.5 and almost 4.5 year olds rarely get to bed before 9:30 and sleep until 7:30 or 8. My 2.5 year old takes naps during the week at daycare (primarily b/c they are competent at getting her to sleep), but its hit or miss on the weekends. I’ve heard of people who have 6 pm to 6 am bedtimes and saw a few posts yesterday that indicate these bedtimes. Obviously those folks days are structured differently from mine but what I’ve always wondered is…do you all ever go out to dinner with your kids? Are those the “exception” nights or do you go out at 5pm to dinner or just not do dinner out? Just curious.
January 24th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
I have always thought my Mia didnt get enough sleep but according to the guidelines RQ posted, I guess she is ok.
Mia is 14 months and goes to bed around 8:30 to 9pm and usually wakes up between 7:30 to 8am– that is about 10.5 hours on the low side. She also naps for about 2 hours a day so that is about 14.5 hours a day– I guess she gets enough sleep.
But here is my issue. We have had Mia for over 8 months now (we had GOTCHA when she was only 6 months old) and she still wakes up each night. She will for sure wake up at around 3 to 4am and I go in and give her some milk then I immediatly put her back down (she is maybe up a total of 5 minutes). Some nights are just the one time of waking up but there are other nights that she wakes up 3 to 4 times. Some nights she starts waking up at 11pm and then at 1am then again at 3 or 4 and then again around 6am. This happens about 2 to 3 times a week. I get really frustrated and I may go in 2 times but the other times I let her cry and she usually will fall back asleep- sometimes it takes 2 minutes of crying and other times it takes 10+ minutes to stop. So, my question is, with waking up that many time, is she is not getting good sleep? She seems fine in the morning but I always feel bad for her on those nights. On normal nights I know she gets fine sleep but those hard nights just suck. Also, is it normal for her to be still waking up so many times (2 to 3 times a week). Any idea how to stop her?
Thanks,
Christy :)
January 24th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
cmbj..there is no magic rule..you go with the flow..you break the schedules at times for nights out etc…your kids will guide you..and yes sometimes if you have a child that has meltdowns easily you go out to dinner at 5 pm…it really does depend on the child.
My children are pretty flexible..they don’t follow the above guidelines (at least two of mine don’t) and thats okay..they are perfectly happy and calm and don’t have major meltdowns…my middle child needs more sleep and if I am not cognizant of this then melt downs sometimes happen..but in general she is an extremely happy, well adjusted, easy going child…all travel really well…in the air and long car rides….very flexible and easy going…I am trully blessed. Hope this helps…I say go with the flow…sometimes a lot of structure helps in the beginning (it helped my Natalie to adjust to the change), but we are getting to the point after two months about being able to loosen up on that as well…
January 24th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
ps..cmjb…sorry I know you have kids…I was just trying to say that I think everyone breaks the schedule at times and my post really was more directed at families who do not have kids yet. You sound like you have a great time with your kids too…
January 24th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
catherine, no apology necessary. Its just one of those things I’ve always wondered about because it seems to me that taking a child to dinner at 7 pm who has a 6 pm bedtime would be the same as taking our daughters to dinner at 10 or 10:30pm. I guess I’ve never wanted to give up that dinner out option.
January 24th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Well, seems that my child will always be sleep-deprived because we don’t even get home from work/dayschool until 7:30-8:30pm thanks to the long commute home; then there’s dinner, reading, bath time and “quality” time and I try to have her in bed between 8:30-10:30pm. I have to wake her up at the latest at 7am; Even then, I’m late for work everyday as we should technically leave no later than 6:30-7am but I just cannot bring myself to wake her any earlier as I know she needs the sleep. Yes, she still naps solidly for 2 hrs a day at preschool. And if allowed, she’d easily take 3hr naps. On the weekends, she’ll sleep until 9am and still takes 2-3 hr naps. She is 3 yrs old.
I know she needs more sleep but you have to do the best you can in your own indiv circumstances. I have no idea what I’ll do once she starts Kindergarten in 3 yrs. Thankfully that’s only 1/2 day and she has to go when she’s 6 because of her birthday being in the fall but still, when you are a working-outside-the-home mom, it’s really hard to live up to the textbook’s standards.
January 24th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
DD gets to sleep between 8 - 9:30 depending on how much party time she has in her crib chatting with her baby. LOL.
She usually wakes between 4-6 for a bottle then goes back to sleep until sometime between 8-9. Then she takes (2) 1.5 - 2 hour naps during the day. She is a mile a minute when she is awake and just wears herself out.
She will be 15 months on Monday and obviously needs a bit more sleep than noted, but we just go with the flow and ENJOY IT!!
January 24th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
I think every child is different and each family has to decide what works best for them. Another reason why DS has a scheduled bedtime is because DH and I like to enjoy a little alone time. We might watch a movie or a favorite TV show or read a book. It’s hard to find that balance sometimes and I know we won’t be able to find that kind of time hopefully some time this year :)
Jo-Anne
2/28/06
January 24th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
DS is 6 years old and has never slept long hours. At the same time he is extremely easy going and doesn’t have melt downs. He usually goes to bed with us at 11pm and rises at 8am. As a 3 year old the pattern was much the same. This pattern has the advantage that we never have disturbed sleep. Friends who put their children to bed at 7pm are often woken in the middle of the night or roused too early in the morning. DS sleeps soundly, once he is asleep that is it. Then there is also the advantage that DH actually gets to see his son. There must be so many households where DH hardly sees his children during the week due to working hours and early bed times.
And rather than feel guilty about our children that don’t fit the “normal” pattern, research has shown that more intelligent children need less sleep and DS is certainly very smart :)
January 24th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Someone in our UK group has been told by BLAS that she is through review and she has a November 2006 LID!
January 24th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Christy
It is normal that your daughter wakes up several times during the night. The thing is to learn her to fall asleep again by herself. I would suggest you stop giving any milk during the night, one of the reasons of waking up is that she is trying to see if there is anything to eat… she will manage without any drink or food until morning, if you give her dinner and maybe youhurt and bread before bedtime (depending on when you eat dinner of course, we eat dinner early so my son has usually oatmeal before bedtime).
Let her cry for 3-5 minutes and see if she falls asleep by herself, if not, go in an quickly, put her blanket on and tell her it is still night and she should go back to sleep. Still crying -go again in 5 min but don’t talk. You might also consider to shorten her nap to 1-1,5 h, depending of how active your day is.
DD started to sleep through the night at 3 years old and DS (4) is still sleeping only periodically through the nights. Christmas disturbed our nights as well as time when he is sick, but that is also normal, I know now that every now and then I get to sleep the whole night! Luckily DH let me sleep on weekend mornings :-) Good luck!
January 24th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Christy,
All three of my girls (two bio, one adopted) were still waking up at least once or twice a night at 14 months. Our youngest, who just turned two, just finished up a stretch where she was waking up 4-6 times a night. Thankfully, she’s back down to once or twice a night now. I’ve found the books “The No Cry Sleep Solution” and “The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers” to be helpful.
Sonya
January 24th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
I have 3 kids, ags 7, 5, and 21 months (the little one is adopted). My husband and I both work FT (in my case, not by choice - I was forced to go back FT after years of working pT). We don’t get home until 6:45 at the earliest, and then my older 2 have homework, reading logs, and so on. They take baths every other night, and of course we have to eat dinner. And it seems like everything takes twice as long when you have 3 kids. So the upshot is, no one gets to bed before 10pm. And then they have to wake up at 6:30 so we can be out of the house by 7:30. The weird thing is - while my older kids seem tired with this schedule, the little one isn’t. In fact, she is an insomniac. She often wakes by 6am on her own, and she never falls asleep before 11pm. She does take a nap at daycare, but she often cuts that short too. I don’t think she needs that much sleep.
January 24th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
JM was a good baby when we brought him home from Guatemala. He was 12 months old when we got him .And he was sleeping very good.He was in bed by 7:30 and up at 7am and he had to have 2 naps they were 1 to 2 hour naps
JM is 29 months old now. He does to bed around 8:30 -9:00.
And get up around 6:30-7:30 and he takes a 3 hour nap.
If he doesn’t get that nap we have very bad melt downs. And Mommy wants to have one with him. But there one thing he has to have before he goes to bed, that is a warm glass of milk. He has to have or he refuses to go to bed..
January 24th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Jess goes to bed at 8:30 and wakes up around 6:30 (sometimes earlier, very rarely will it be later). She sleeps 2 hours during the day. Jess very rarely sleeps through the night. She’s been with us 11 months tomorrow; she usually wakes up sometime between 1 and 3. One of us usually ends up spending the rest of the night in her room. She’ll wake up periodically, poke us saying Mommy? (or Daddy? if he’s the one in there). If we don’t respond, she’ll keep doing it; if we say yes, she says okay and goes back to sleep.
January 24th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
My 2 yr old goes down at 7:30 and I wake her at 6:30 and she takes 1 nap per day. At daycare it is usually an hour and a half, but for me on weekends it’s usually 2 or 3 hours. My 6 yr old goes at 8 and gets herself up anywhere from 6:30-7:45. On weekends I let them both stay up a little later (8:30) and they sleep til 7:30 or 8.
January 24th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
I have been home almost a month and my sweet girl is sleeping about 12 hours though the night and takes a 1.5 hour nap after lunch. It took about two to three weeks to get her on that schedule but she really developed it herself. I was not setting out to get her onto a set schedule but she just gets tired between 7-8pm and wakes between7-8am. I am blessed, I know!!! Yes, we had horrible jet lag night that first week but it did pass and we all survived!
Adomom
Forever family day 12/17/07
January 24th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
I’ve never logged in before–with a 11/16/06 LID I figured I have plenty of time to just read and learn. But I felt compelled to write about the sleep issue. Our DD adopted at 15 months is now 4.5 and sleeps 12-13 a night without a nap. Every childs’ needs are different. What upsets me is when other people feel the need to comment to us that “her bed time is so early–surely she can stay up later!”. Well, no, I’m her parent and she can’t. We do have to make sacrifices and unfortunately my DH sees her for only an hour at night but a happy, healthy child is worth our “inconveniences”. To kcbock–we also had consistent unconsolable wakings for a year+ after her adoption. I read all the books, tried all the methods. In the end her physician determined that her adnoids were enlarged and put her on Nasonex. It was magical–that very night she slept without waking!
January 24th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
I do have to add that I too get the same comments as you do Waitingforcupcake,
Our bio son who is 7 sleeps from bedtime 6-6:30 until I pry him out of bed at 7am the next school day. He has always slept alot. Until he was around 3 he slept between 15-20 hours a day. He would just dose off and not wake up. We just let him be.
Our other child is now 12 and has always been a night hawk. He sleeps anywhere from 8-10 hours a night. He has never been on to sleep.
every child is different.
LID 11-23-07
January 24th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Our bio son who is seven sleeps anywhere between 12-15 hours a night. He goes to bed at 6 pm or 7pm and sleeps until 7 am or 9 am. Depending on the day. School days he is up early at 7.
He has always slept like this. When until he was 3 or so he slept around 12-15 or so hours a day.
Each child is different.
January 25th, 2008 at 12:26 am
I am about to transition my great sleeper to the next stage - turning her cot into a junior bed (basically same cot but sides off drops down lower and low side bars).
Any tips on when you do this and what to say - we are going to make sure she watches us change it and help - I am worried that she will realise quickly she can get out and then of course come out of her room (she sleeps thru night in her cot in her own room with door shut - woken up during the night in 10 mths about 10 times!!)
Any advice would be great.
Thanks
January 25th, 2008 at 1:00 am
As I sit here to type this Mia just work up for the first time just 30 minutes after putting her down– uggg!!!
Thanks for all your suggestions and help. The adnoid thing is interesting. I think I need to remember that next time we go tothe DR.
Anyway, I just let her cry and she stopped within a minute or so– so I guess she is fine this time.
THanks,
Christy :)
January 25th, 2008 at 11:50 am
My dd adopted at 2.2 years and now 3.3 years, goes to sleep around 10 or 10:30 every night. We start around 9:30. She sleeps until 7:15 every morning and has a 1-2 hour nap during the day. I’m not crazy about her late hours, but all attempts to get her to bed earlier just translates into me lying with her for an even longer time in her bed until she goes to sleep. I’m beginning to wonder is she is showing symptoms of sensory-seeking as I’ve heard other people talk about this, and she is definitely REALLY active all the time. Does anyone know more about this? Is it different from hyperactivity?
January 25th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
so for age 38 is 12hours on saterday to much hehehe
January 27th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Thank you for sharing this!! I just ask a group of mothers about how much sleep a 20 month old needs!! Good timing! Thank you!
His,
Mrs. U
mommy to Elizabeth, born in Yangchun, Guangdong, PRC
http://www.makingahouseahome.blogspot.com
January 28th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
The other book I found useful (as well as the No Cry Sleep solution) and I borrowed most of the books in the town on the subject, was “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child”. For anyone waiting, I recommend now as the time to do a bit of research (when you don’t have to try and snatch time to read).
One of the books commented that no parents ever realise how much lack of sleep will affect them - so true. Each book I found had the quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson “There was never a child so sweet as when it was asleep” - so ironic - we wait so long and then can’t wait for them to go to sleep.