Comments on: Attrition - gathering data http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/ Join the Rumor Queen as she looks for the latest rumors and then analyzes them, trying to figure out what the CCAA will do next. Fri, 21 Nov 2008 08:44:58 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: cachinadoll http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53164 cachinadoll Sat, 10 May 2008 04:48:09 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53164 First Kid- I say hang in there! Most of our group is over 40!!!! I was thrilled to know that there were some wise people that will be traveling with us. : ) I know the journey is different for everyone and we all have decisions to make along the way-there is no right or wrong answer but I say HANG IN THERE-I think you will have your baby in early 2009. Call me crazy! Best of luck to everyone-may you find your child wether it be China or not! Ready for another batch.....COME ON CHINA-Show us some LOVE! Spam: Beijing-UH! The Olympics-hurry up and END. First Kid-

I say hang in there!
Most of our group is over 40!!!! I was thrilled to know that there were some wise people that will be traveling with us. : )
I know the journey is different for everyone and we all have decisions to make along the way-there is no right or wrong answer but I say HANG IN THERE-I think you will have your baby in early 2009. Call me crazy!

Best of luck to everyone-may you find your child wether it be China or not!

Ready for another batch…..COME ON CHINA-Show us some LOVE! Spam: Beijing-UH! The Olympics-hurry up and END.

]]> By: JACALI http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53163 JACALI Sat, 10 May 2008 04:28:15 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53163 Firstkid - we have been home with our daughter several months now. We are in our mid 40s and most of the families we travelled with were older. There were parents over 50 in our group. We have friends doing IVF with donor eggs and they are much older than we are. I understand your concerns but don't let age be the reason for backing out. You won't be the oldest parents out there... beleive me. Good Luck. It will be worth the wait :-) Firstkid - we have been home with our daughter several months now. We are in our mid 40s and most of the families we travelled with were older. There were parents over 50 in our group. We have friends doing IVF with donor eggs and they are much older than we are. I understand your concerns but don’t let age be the reason for backing out. You won’t be the oldest parents out there… beleive me.

Good Luck. It will be worth the wait :-)

]]> By: TR1140 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53162 TR1140 Sat, 10 May 2008 02:51:43 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53162 We are DTC July '06 and desperately looking for another program to switch to. We were paperchasing for Vietnam when that program fell apart. The 3-day referral batch sent us over the edge too! Our daughter is now 4 years old, and getting older each day. We wanted her and her sister to be closer in age so they could grow up together. Not to mention the fact that we are getting older too! This has been a nightmare that I just want to wake up from. We will be gone from China as soon as we can find another program we feel reasonably comfortable with. Good luck to all who stay. Their children are precious and it will be worth it. We are DTC July ‘06 and desperately looking for another program to switch to. We were paperchasing for Vietnam when that program fell apart. The 3-day referral batch sent us over the edge too! Our daughter is now 4 years old, and getting older each day. We wanted her and her sister to be closer in age so they could grow up together. Not to mention the fact that we are getting older too! This has been a nightmare that I just want to wake up from. We will be gone from China as soon as we can find another program we feel reasonably comfortable with. Good luck to all who stay. Their children are precious and it will be worth it.

]]> By: firstkid http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53161 firstkid Sat, 10 May 2008 02:14:04 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53161 Attrition. Such a small word, yet it packs a wallop on a personal level. We haven't pulled our file. For the moment we're going to wait and see the numbers near the end of 2008. If we do pull out, I guess it's because of "self imposed age limits" as FindingHope said in a previous post. I'm a would-be first time dad and currently 45 years old. Never had kids, never so much as changed a diaper. We decided in 2005 to take the plunge and bring a child into our lives through IA. At that time, the predicatbility and relatively good health of the children were what brought us to adopt from China. Also at the time we were consistently told the delays were 'about a year or so.' The end of this month will mark 2 years from our LID, and by my calculations I recon we're at least 24 months from referral. That puts us in 2010, 4 years of waiting, a baby room that will have been sitting empty for at least 3 years. People tell me to hang in there, that age is not that relevant, that heck, even 48 is not too old to start raising a child. Personally, I'm not so sure. I think there is a season for everything in life. My problem is I don't know how to tell the season has passed. I worry that if I hang in there too long, I'll become a burden to my kid. I worry about the best interests of the child, not the best interest of myself. I am sure there are folks older than me who are terrific parents and can do everything they need to do so their kids grow up safe and secure. But I will confess that I have a nagging doubt in the back of my head that asks me if choosing to become a parent at 47 or 48 is pushing the envelope too much. What will my child's life be like as we age? I just don't know. I know I am not ready to pull out, but I suspect at some point my DW and I may have to re-evaluate what we're going to do. This is not a 'one size fits all' kind of thing. It's different for everybody and every situation. Right now, I'm just sad, looking at a stuffed animal I bought at FAO Schwartz back in 2005 and wondering if I will ever have a little one to play with it. Attrition. Such a small word, yet it packs a wallop on a personal level.

We haven’t pulled our file. For the moment we’re going to wait and see the numbers near the end of 2008.

If we do pull out, I guess it’s because of “self imposed age limits” as FindingHope said in a previous post.

I’m a would-be first time dad and currently 45 years old. Never had kids, never so much as changed a diaper. We decided in 2005 to take the plunge and bring a child into our lives through IA. At that time, the predicatbility and relatively good health of the children were what brought us to adopt from China. Also at the time we were consistently told the delays were ‘about a year or so.’

The end of this month will mark 2 years from our LID, and by my calculations I recon we’re at least 24 months from referral. That puts us in 2010, 4 years of waiting, a baby room that will have been sitting empty for at least 3 years.

People tell me to hang in there, that age is not that relevant, that heck, even 48 is not too old to start raising a child. Personally, I’m not so sure.

I think there is a season for everything in life. My problem is I don’t know how to tell the season has passed.

I worry that if I hang in there too long, I’ll become a burden to my kid. I worry about the best interests of the child, not the best interest of myself.

I am sure there are folks older than me who are terrific parents and can do everything they need to do so their kids grow up safe and secure. But I will confess that I have a nagging doubt in the back of my head that asks me if choosing to become a parent at 47 or 48 is pushing the envelope too much. What will my child’s life be like as we age?

I just don’t know. I know I am not ready to pull out, but I suspect at some point my DW and I may have to re-evaluate what we’re going to do.

This is not a ‘one size fits all’ kind of thing. It’s different for everybody and every situation.

Right now, I’m just sad, looking at a stuffed animal I bought at FAO Schwartz back in 2005 and wondering if I will ever have a little one to play with it.

]]> By: moon.ladder http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53160 moon.ladder Sat, 10 May 2008 01:16:00 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53160 chloesmommy, I am so happy that you are feeling at peace. How long do you think it will be before you get your daughter? We had considered switching as well. But we were told we would more than likely get our baby next year. Now I seriously don't know. The stress is reallly beginning to take its toll on me. I would just love to know if our file will definately be moved back. If so, I think I may consider switching. I know my agency doesn't want me to switch. But at this point we are really considering it. But if we knew we would get our baby next year or early 2010 I could deal with that. chloesmommy,
I am so happy that you are feeling at peace. How long do you think it will be before you get your daughter?

We had considered switching as well. But we were told we would more than likely get our baby next year. Now I seriously don’t know. The stress is reallly beginning to take its toll on me. I would just love to know if our file will definately be moved back. If so, I think I may consider switching. I know my agency doesn’t want me to switch. But at this point we are really considering it. But if we knew we would get our baby next year or early 2010 I could deal with that.

]]> By: chloesmommy http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53159 chloesmommy Sat, 10 May 2008 00:38:10 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53159 This was very appropriate as I sent our letter into our agency to withdraw from China. After another three day batch and 4/07 LID, we had enough. We have been contemplating this for months now. The stress and anxiety has taken a huge toll on us physically and mentally. We have chosen another country and will be mailing our application off on Monday. I was sad in the beginning because I too, like so many others felt such a calling for China. However, that truly has subsided. I just want my daughter and where she comes from does not matter. I feel a sense of freedom and peacefulness that I haven't felt in months. This was very appropriate as I sent our letter into our agency to withdraw from China. After another three day batch and 4/07 LID, we had enough. We have been contemplating this for months now. The stress and anxiety has taken a huge toll on us physically and mentally. We have chosen another country and will be mailing our application off on Monday. I was sad in the beginning because I too, like so many others felt such a calling for China. However, that truly has subsided. I just want my daughter and where she comes from does not matter. I feel a sense of freedom and peacefulness that I haven’t felt in months.

]]> By: moon.ladder http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53158 moon.ladder Fri, 09 May 2008 22:35:44 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53158 This is off subject. But if anyone who has been questioned in review and file moved back, please could you let me know. This has been bothering me all day. And if it does happen. That means we will be moved a couple months back, which means alot of time added on to our wait. According to the charts it could be 2011 before we get our child. I just don't know anymore. These ups and downs are sooo hard:( I wold just love to get a straight answer from my agency. I think they are being honest. But after awhile its hard not to question things. KWIM? LID 5/12/06 This is off subject.
But if anyone who has been questioned in review and file moved back, please could you let me know. This has been bothering me all day. And if it does happen. That means we will be moved a couple months back, which means alot of time added on to our wait. According to the charts it could be 2011 before we get our child.
I just don’t know anymore. These ups and downs are sooo hard:(
I wold just love to get a straight answer from my agency. I think they are being honest. But after awhile its hard not to question things. KWIM?

LID 5/12/06

]]> By: meismama http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53157 meismama Fri, 09 May 2008 22:25:47 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53157 Thanks for doing this RQ. The results will be extremely interesting!! I don't know about percentages but my WAG is that attrition will have more of an affect on the 2nd half of 06 and later LIDs so it'll continue to be a slow crawl until then at least. I think the mid 06 LIDs and earlier are in the "so close yet so far" camp, maybe have explored options [if they have any] and are dug in for the long haul. Well, that's my situation anyway!! TLamb, RQ's address is in her post above. It's rumorqueen@gmail.com Thanks for doing this RQ. The results will be extremely interesting!!

I don’t know about percentages but my WAG is that attrition will have more of an affect on the 2nd half of 06 and later LIDs so it’ll continue to be a slow crawl until then at least.

I think the mid 06 LIDs and earlier are in the “so close yet so far” camp, maybe have explored options [if they have any] and are dug in for the long haul. Well, that’s my situation anyway!!

TLamb, RQ’s address is in her post above. It’s rumorqueen@gmail.com

]]> By: TLamb http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53156 TLamb Fri, 09 May 2008 18:06:53 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53156 what email address do we mail the info to? what email address do we mail the info to?

]]> By: 2qts4me http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53155 2qts4me Fri, 09 May 2008 16:21:34 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/05/09/attrition-gathering-data/#comment-53155 I know of 3 people who dropped out, but they do not belong to internet forums. One family decided that they already had 3 bio children, and decided that they would be grateful for what they had, and hoped that it might speed up one family somwhere in the future. One family has a referral from Ethiopia and the other just bearly bought their baby home from Guatemala before the close down. All I know of 3 people who dropped out, but they do not belong to internet forums. One family decided that they
already had 3 bio children, and decided that they would be grateful for what they had, and hoped that it might speed up one family somwhere in the future. One family has a referral from Ethiopia and the other just bearly bought their baby home from Guatemala before the close down. All

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