I think we can take the 25th as cut off to an R5 now.
Congrats to all who will be included!
I’ll also give it an R3 that there will be some expedites in this batch. It has now come from several sources.
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July 5th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Well, there it is. Disappointing for many but the best news ever for the lucky few who finally made it to the finish line. A huge and sincere congratulations for those families who will receive their referrals in the next few days or so!!!
susan
2/13/06
July 5th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Congrats to the families in this batch!!! And for
those that are next, what a great feeling it is
to know your next!!!! I cant wait to see this
months pics!!! So please put them up so we
can see them!!!
Have a great weekend!!!
LBIA
Our Metcha Day was 09/10/07
Paperchasing for #2 SN
July 5th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Congratulations to all! It has been a long wait and you must be thrilled!
Waiting for more!
LID 2-24-06
July 5th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
RQ – that’s awesome that there’s expedited referrals! Can’t wait till we get the call…
Amy
July 5th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Hang in there to all of those that didn’t make the cut. It will be interesting to see the batch post Olympics. Can’t wait until September.
July 5th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Your wait is finally over – congratulations to all who are receiving referrals this month.
To those who have missed this cut-off, it won’t be long now!
Jo-Anne
2/28/06
July 5th, 2008 at 11:33 pm
So – The 20th of Jan 06 was a Fri. This means that they processed 3 working days worth of Logins. If the pace does not pick up they will be in reverse soon. A few months ago it was rumored they they will only get to the end of Feb 06 this year. At this rate they won’t even get this far.
FIrst they increased the rules, then they extended the wait time so that no rational person would want to apply for a NSN. Then we hear that some of the NSN were corrected SN children. This all points to one thing for me. They would really like to stop the program but do not know how to do so without loosing face. I think they are hoping that we just go somewhere else for our babies.
Sorry to be so gloomy but I really don’t see much to rejoice about here.
July 6th, 2008 at 8:43 am
Congratulations to all the families who will see their babies for the first time this week. It was 1 year ago today that we first saw our Rory. That moment will always be etched in my heart!
Heidi
July 6th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Congratulations to those who will be seeing their childs face very soon. How wonderful:)
At this point we are looking into other options. With a May 2006 lid you would think we would be very close. IT just doesn’t feel that way. IT makes me sad to think of switching. But it makes me even sadder with the uncertainty and waiting.
HUGS~
July 6th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Dear Rumor Queen,
We are expecting our referral this month and would like to share our pictures at http://pickalilly.blogspot.com/ (whenever they do come in that is) thank you!
LID 23 Jan 2006
July 6th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to all the new mummy and daddy’s to be..very soon…..you will see your little ones beautiful face……..ANY movement is GOOD….we are “50″ LID’s away from a referral…the count continues..and the end is in sight…LID March 17, 2006.
July 6th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
First, congratulations to everyone who received a match!
Once again, China has failed the children. I am not sure if they will ever “get it”. It is a shame. I just received the medical information for a SN child who is 9 years old…..a big change from going from an infant to an older child. I am not sure about it, but we are considering, she is beautiful, as all of the children are. What I did notice is that most of the photos they mailed us were marked May/June of this year, in the background I could count MANY children, nannies and babies!!!!! If anyone thinks there is a lack of babies-they are wrong!!!! China could fullfill all 2006 & 2007 dossiers TODAY and still have plenty of children in the orphanages-why is the big question!!!
The Olympics are not going as well as expected…..I would think that China would want all of us to be there, visiting their country, spending our money, loving those children. I am just so perplexed by their thinking-there is no rational.
Normally, I try to be positive but I am worried, we will have to pay AGAIN if we do not get a match in 2008. I am over everything! My sister also just announced they are trying for #3…..my daughter and her daughter were “supposed” to be the same age! That was when I actually thought I would have a child in early 2007. Right!
I too am close but not sure if it is reality anymore. I need a sign, something to let me know what to do. I just wish China would tell the truth-then none of us would be so miserable during the wait. The worst for us is the unknown. On vacation tomorrow-thankful for that.
Best to everyone and Happy late 4th of July to all US!
July 6th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
Hang in there, I do believe we will all get there.
I wish there were some answers, but something has to give.
LID 3/27/06..(and feeling the light at the end of the tunnel??)
July 6th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
cachinadoll, I find your comments very disturbing.
July 7th, 2008 at 1:39 am
cachinadoll -
Your post is a shining example of your ignorance – and Ugly American syndrome at its finest. You have no idea what is or is not happening in China’s orphanages. Furthermore, CHINA isn’t lying about anything. There were never any promises made to you about wait times from the CCAA. Everything you have learned about the process, and everything that you were led to believe, came from your AGENCY. You signed a contract with your agency – not China. Sadly, your post is very racist – yet you’re probably incapable of understanding how.
You want answers from China? Surely, we all have what we need to know. Anyone who is serious about adopting a child in the near future should find another program or expect a very, very long wait. People were still crazy enough to sign up in 2007 and 2008 when it was very clear that the program was slowing down significantly. The CCAA tried to stop the flow of dossiers with the new requirements. Guess what? There are still agencies that will take your money if you want to submit a dossier.
I feel genuine sorrow for the people that are stuck in this awful wait… but China bashing is not going to change anything. Think next time before you vent your views on this site. I sincerely hope that you are not typical of this community.
People like you really need to examine your motives for adopting internationally. If you can’t handle it… move on and adopt from the U.S. – there are plenty of children here who need homes.
Why would China want to have a program with Americans when posts such as yours continue to pollute this site… and the reputation of the adoption community?
And by the way, CHINA DOLL is considered an OFFENSIVE term to many Asian Americans.
July 7th, 2008 at 8:01 am
I’m not sure Chinadoll meant to be offensive. I read it more as scared, sad, frustrated, very much in need right now of a sign that things will be okay. It’s where I was last week, seriously thinking about withdrawing my application. Remember, this has been a very long journey, and it’s taking its toll on people. I cry a lot. Others need to vent, get angry, etc. I’m not sure Chinadoll’s words came out as intended.
If it helps, Chinadoll, I got my sign (as I always seem to when I’m really down and close to giving up, which I guess is a sign in and of itself.) In the midst of all my sadness and despair, the most beautiful little girl’s name came to me. She’s in my heart, and I really felt like she was trying to tell me not to give up on her. And now that I’ve named her, I can’t give up on her. Here’s to my little Lucia (meaning of name = light).
Hang in there.
LID Feb 07
July 7th, 2008 at 8:11 am
AKSC – I think your rebuke is a little harsh, but I agree that cachinadoll, like everyone, should carefully examine his/her motives for adoption.
What disturbs me most about the post is the thought of a 9 year Chinese child possibly being adopted by parents who really wanted a beautiful baby “china dol,l” and view China as little more than inept supplier of babies.
July 7th, 2008 at 8:13 am
Mom2Isabel-
I just read your post from Jul 4th. Thank you! I too appreciated the meaning of Lucia’s name, how appropriate in a time when I was starting to lose hope. My first daughter is named similar to yours, and she is without doubt the love of my life. She likes the name we’ve chosen for her sister. She already calls her LuLu.
Thanks again!
July 7th, 2008 at 10:26 am
FindingHope – thanks for sharing something hopeful. I, too, felt really frustrated about this month’s batch and am thinking more and more about whether we wish to continue this journey. Thank you for your words of hope. Lucia is a beautiful name.
July 7th, 2008 at 11:10 am
cachinadoll –
Others have commented on the more disturbing aspects of your response, but I would just like to point out that the amount of babies in a SWI tells you nothing about their availability for adoption. It is very likely that they are already matched or will be soon. Another person may visit the same orphanage in 6 months and find it still full (but with a completely different set of children!)
July 7th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Regarding my comments to cachinadoll -
When did it become O.K. for us waiting parents to vent our feelings in such a thoughtless, judgmental way about China? Does our pain make it O.K to vent such horrible feelings and make highly derogatory accusations about our children’s birth county, its people and its culture? When did the Chinese become the evil THEY?
cachinadoll is an adult and she may well possibly raise an adopted child from China someday. I think we all need to raise the bar here on these types of discussions. It makes little difference whether cachinadoll meant to be offensive or not. Ignorance is ignorance. And, I’m not all that sure that many potential adoptive parents are able to see beyond their own grief to fully grasp the changes that are happening in China.
China is a sovereign nation with the right to run any type of adoption program it wants to. It is not an endless baby factory for people who want to “love their children.” Why the allure of Chinese children? Why not this obsession with adopting in the U.S. or elsewhere?
cachinadoll’s longin name reveals a lot. We need to examine this china doll fixation. Some people have unrealistic fantasies about raising these kids. These children are paraded out in blogs and put on display as objects for us to lure at and covet. Like some magical transformation will happen in our lives once we have one of our own.
Look, I am the adoptive mother of a Chinese child that I love more than anything in this world. I had dreams of adopting another child so that our DD could have a sibling. But we are changing our plans, obviously.
cachinadoll has NO excuse for the feelings she expressed in her post and I urge the moderators here to watch this kind of thing because it reflects very poorly on Americans and adoptive parents in general.
This site has been an enormous resource. Let’s not let it descend into some neurotic place where people go to pieces because they don’t get what they want when they want it. We are talking about real children and real lives. If people want to adopt children and be parents, they’ll have to deal with their loss and find another way to become parents or wait it out. There are other options besides China. So many people already have kids – I find it really hard to hear these people complain. I feel very bad for the people that our waiting for their first child.
This is the real world and not some Chinese baby blog wonderland. Get a handle on your grief and think about all the people in China who lost their only children in the earthquake. There is great suffering in this world and most Americans have no clue how most of the world lives. The China program slowdown is not the end of the world.
July 7th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
AKSC-
I keep re-reading the post in question, and I’m still seeing grief, sadness, frustration and heartache. I’m sure I’ve said things, or perhaps mis-said things, out of grief and heartache that came out far worse than what I was trying to say. I would have to go back and read former posts of this person, but I truly don’t think he or she intended the harshness that many are hearing.
Like I said, this journey is taking its toll on all of us. And for some, the slowdown does feel like the end of the world. Heartache is a very personal thing, and some may feel it a lot harder than others. I try very hard to have compassion for those who are feeling it the hardest these days because I know that I, too, have my hard days.
I’ve been blessed with one precious child from China, and I so badly want her little sister home with us. While my heartache isn’t the same as someone waiting for their first, there’s still a sadness, a hole in your heart, when one of your children is missing. And switching programs isn’t always an option, especially when you already feel your child in your heart. It’s hard to turn away and go elsewhere when you feel this little person asking you not to give up on her.
My hope is that the poster somehow finds a sense of peace that he or she could probably really use right now.
July 7th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
cachina doll is not the only one feeling sadness about the long wait times and slowdown. Switching programs isn’t always an option for people with financial limitations – I agree. We are also on a limited budget and feel daunted by the state of IA right now. There are really no easy answers right now and there is a lot of instability with the future of IA – an that’s for all of the programs out there. However, I am not making these sort of very public statements about the evils of China – or how they run their social welfare institutes.
The feeling that your “child is missing” may be genuinely felt, but that will not make your wait any shorter or easier. There are a number of posts in the talk and discussion boards that talk about the denial of reality with regard to the changes in the program. The signs have been out there. All this public heartache is not going to change a thing. We waited almost 4 times the wait that we were told to expect when we signed up – and we were waiting for our first child after years of infertility. I know all about the personal grief of waiting, and I also hoped that we could adopt a second child from China so that our daughter could have a sibling with a similar life story. But the fact remains – this is never going to happen. We just need to be open to new possibilities now if we want to build our family. The child in your heart is really in your head. And, as soon as people get over this fact, the sooner people will go on with their lives. Whether they choose to wait it out or move on to some other way of building a family.
It’s not a matter of giving up on some idea of a child. It’s just not going to be a reality for people unless they wait a VERY LONG time.
And now other programs are already impacted from the surge of people scrambling to get into other programs. After this experience, I will not take any agencies words at face value. There are no guarantees with international adoption.
Why is a SN 9 year-old from China so much more appealing than a child who needs a home here in the U.S. ? I just don’t get it. And foster adopt programs are practically no cost. In fact, most states provide a monthly stipend for the child until they turn 18. Foster adoption might be a challenging track for some but it does lead to forever families. Switching programs is an option. I know people who are switching right now because they are not insane enough to wait 4-5 more years – sitting by crying every month while 3-5 LIDs go by. This is crazy!
There are thousands of families that started programs in Vietnam and Guatemala that will never see their adoptions go through. I just don’t see this kinds of public discourse about these other programs or countries.
There are other options out there for people who have open minds and open hearts about adopting children. But it might involve letting go of one dream to make room for another.
I wish the best to all of those who can wait it out. It’s certainly worth it.
July 7th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Why are people spending so much time bashing others that decide to vent their feelings on this board? Couldn’t the space be better used trying to find out when the next set of matches will come or supporting others?
I don’t get it. Please…let’s be kind! This is no time to be spitting out vicious words at others….
July 7th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
I don’t usually step into this, since I don’t like to be attacked myself. However, I have to add my two cents – personally, I enjoy reading open debate, but don’t like to see individuals attacked. I prefer to address the post itself with honest and thoughtful debate, rather than attacking the poster. I have to agree with HopefulHeart – people are a bit on edge, as this is difficult for all those in various stages of the process. We should be here to support each other, and I’m grateful to those of you who provide positive support.
July 8th, 2008 at 12:55 am
WOW! AKSC….you were so harsh regarding my post and COMPLETELY misread it. First and foremost, do not assume anything! CA is for California, ChinaDoll is a nickname that has NOTHING to do with the fact that I am adopting from China! I do not even know what you are talking about regarding a “fixation”-obviously you have some issues about that which I do not. Secondly, you were really hateful and I am worried about your post, not mine! Your post actually made me cry!
I had a really hard day and needed a safe place to vent. I have always thanked RQ for a place to do that or to share information or to say congrats! Why are you still on RQ if you are no longer adopting from China anyway? I have read hundreds of posts on here and on other blogs and I think yours is the rudest I have ever read. You know nothing about me, my education, my travels, my agency or my life. I am well educated, well traveled, kind, compassionate and this is my first child. I have a beautiful home, a wonderful, loving family and I have no other motive for adopting from China-I do not think anyone does and I think it is weird for you to even suggest that. I am also adopted so I know another side of it.
We started the process in 2005 (after infertility too although we were always going to adopt!)-our SW “forgot” to send in her paperwork so we did not get logged in until 2006. We did NOT sign a “contract” with our agency. In our paperwork and verbally at our orientation, we were told “6-9 months-12 at the longest.” Yes, back then, I was naive, I really believed that I would have a child within a year. Our agency NEVER talked or wrote about the wait time increasing or decreasing-in fact, I am the one who wrote them to say it is time to make some changes on their website and orientation because it was misleading. So, then, it was to be spring 07, then late fall. Then, in Jan. 2008 I talked to our director and was told yes, we would have a match in 2008. Now, it looks like 2009. I will wait ten years if I have to-I am committed to the journey and the child that I am blessed to recieve! It does not mean that I have to pretend that it is not difficult and painful somedays. It is not about what I want-I never said that. In fact, if you read some of my other posts, I have talked about the kids, the earthquake, the country. I have said this before: China does not owe me a thing, but they do owe those children the opportunity to be adopted, wether that be by me or someone in China or someone in the UK. No child in any country should be in an orphange. There are other options such as the way Korea does it-foster care rather than orphanages.
In regards to your comment about adopting in the US-you have no idea how much time I spent researching agencies in the US and in other countries! China is where we, just like you, felt our hearts were!!! Why did you “choose” China? Have you adopted in the US? Do you know what state I live in? No, you do not! We were denied foster care about 6 months ago because of our China adoption! They viewed it as a complication and many states are now changing foster care guidelines/reccomendations to always reunite the family…..no matter what the biological parents have done to have had their children removed from their home. As someone who is adopted by an amazing family, I find this absurd. It is never about the child, it is always about something else! That was my point.
We have tried several times to adopt a “SN” child but by the time we do our paperwork, etc. we are never first in line (as our agency phrases it!). We love China and the people but we do not agree with the way the government is “doing” things…..it does not mean we are ignorant or the Ugly American! I have several friends who have adopted at least one child from China and a few in the last year & they were blessed to see orphanges and I am pretty sure they are not lying to me about seeing many children.
Waitingforlaurali, lizyrose and findinghope-Thank you for being non-judgementa, kind and having some class when you post. You are going to be great moms!
July 8th, 2008 at 1:15 am
I was not finished-oops!
The comment: “Why is a SN 9 year-old from China so much more appealing than a child who needs a home here in the U.S.?” That is a pretty sick comment from you! Why not a 9-year old from China? She will be a blessing to any family! It is not about appeal, it is about wanting a child, a family. Just like any other human being-wether that comes by way of pregnancy, adoption, in-vitro or foster care. Playing into your way of thinking perpetuates the system in China. Of course, for you it is easy to say all that you said now that you are a mom and home from China! Try remembering what your wait was like. I am not sure not everyday was perfect for you and that you were never not frustrated!
As for the comment you made: “…some neurotic place where people go to pieces because they don’t get what they want when they want it.” I have never viewed this adoption about me! I am in in for the long haul-my comment was related to a sign about the SN child as it is a big decision-obviously because of her, not me! Adopting is about human love, family, compassion, etc. etc. It really has nothing to do with China-I would be happy with any child which is why we are open to other countries, foster care and SN. You make it sound like I am some freak who wants a doll! I do not even like dolls to be honest! To even suggest that is disgusting! You are making some horrible accusations about me and you read ONE post. Give me a break!
I will leave you with a quote:
‘All the Children who are held and loved will know how to love others…Spread these virtues in the world. Nothing more need be done.’ Meng Zi, 300BC
If only you could understand it…..
Congrats again to all who received your match! Enjoy every moment of the journey!
July 10th, 2008 at 10:07 am
I usually stay off this site and I realize the smackdown in this thread is from a few days ago; however I was so angered by what I read- I had to speak out.
AKSC, obviously you have your child. Good for you. But do you realy think its appropriate to attack others on this site who although their postings may be seen as derogatory, seem to come from a lack of understanding rather han any intentional maliousness.
WHY DIDN’T YOU ADOPT FROM FOSTER CARE? You seem to feel very strong about it; and your only considering it now because the wait is too long in China for baby #2.
Let me tell you why we didn’t choose foster care. We have no children and are in our early 30s. When we first learned of our infertility, foster care was our first choice. However at our very first meeting we were told that our state’s foster care system is NOT an adoption agency and that our whole goal as foster parents is to “foster” reuniting the child with their birth parent. So we said no; we wanted a child of our own.
We went to a US agency to adopt, cost was the same as international; except that we were told we would have to accept an open adoption should we want to receive a referral; again we said we wanted a child that ours with no questions. Then we meet a couple at a bbq with a child from China who highly recommended the agency we chose. Again; we asked about older children and children with special needs. Our social work suggested that due to our age and our lack of experience raising children we would be better suited to NSN.
My husband and I tried to do the right thing, the socially consious thing and perhaps even the liberal guilt thing. Do we have a baby, no. And frankly the reason I stay off this site is because I have come to accept that we might never receive a child from China; but I check back occassionally to see if anything has changed.
The only thing that has changed as of late is that those already with children seem to be on a high horse regarding what is wrong or right to say. They couldn’t care less that some of us are basically financially drained (we have lost $8k to this fiasco-not refundable-just gone) or that we are emotionally fragile.
Do I think my agency lied-yes. Do I think China lied-yes. I don’t know what you call it but when both the agency and CCAA officials continue to make public statements that adoptions will continue (if your willing to wait) and that they are “very concerned” about the increasing times, but still accept applications regardless of the ever increasing concerns. Yes, I call that lying.
China uses the IA community to fund charities that support the orphanages; orphanages that now are mainly adopting children out domestically. Does China stop accepting international applications? Does China stop asking Americans for aid for fresh water aid? For supplies? To rebuild after the earthquake? NO-they use IA to keep the money coming. Money that goes to a widely aknowledged corrupt system.
So AKSC do you really think its fair that you defend China and the broken IA system while bashing other prospective PAPs-all the while bouncing your child on your knee. SHOW SOME COMPASSION!!!-Having a child, adopted or otherwise does not give you the right to dictate to others what or how they should feel, it also doesn’t give you the right to tell people to try someplace else-you certainly didn’t until now.