Comments on: A Rambling Post http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/07/18/a-rambling-post/ Join the Rumor Queen as she looks for the latest rumors and then analyzes them, trying to figure out what the CCAA will do next. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:34:21 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 By: DebL http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/07/18/a-rambling-post/comment-page-1/#comment-55541 DebL Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:19:39 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/?p=1731#comment-55541 As some of you know I had to take a break from the chat groups, but this topic caught my eye. I am so grateful to hear so many of you admit that this is hard. I too get tired of hearing folks say it is worth it. I don't deny that it is, but I am glad to hear so many express the struggle. My DH and I are debating on whether we stay the course. Our LID is 1/22/07 and I too believe that it will be around the year 2013. I have already told my husband that I will not wait and will move on. We will give it until January 2009 to see if the Olympics have any impact on the wait; if it does not than we will go without having children. Ten years of infertility and chasing a dream is long and then to throw another 4+ more years from now. Kudos to those who don't mind being parents for the first time in their mid to late forties, but I don't have that stamina. As some of you know I had to take a break from the chat groups, but this topic caught my eye. I am so grateful to hear so many of you admit that this is hard. I too get tired of hearing folks say it is worth it. I don’t deny that it is, but I am glad to hear so many express the struggle.

My DH and I are debating on whether we stay the course. Our LID is 1/22/07 and I too believe that it will be around the year 2013. I have already told my husband that I will not wait and will move on. We will give it until January 2009 to see if the Olympics have any impact on the wait; if it does not than we will go without having children.

Ten years of infertility and chasing a dream is long and then to throw another 4+ more years from now. Kudos to those who don’t mind being parents for the first time in their mid to late forties, but I don’t have that stamina.

]]> By: ford http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/07/18/a-rambling-post/comment-page-1/#comment-55516 ford Sun, 20 Jul 2008 21:07:50 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/?p=1731#comment-55516 I'm glad we have a place like this to share what we are feeling. No explaining. No apologizing. Just expressing what's on our mind, what's in our heart. I will never travel with my little one without having a clear container of cheerios and a box of raisins after reading this... peace fm 1-27-06 www.alyzabethan.blogspot.com I’m glad we have a place like this to share what we are feeling. No explaining. No apologizing. Just expressing what’s on our mind, what’s in our heart.

I will never travel with my little one without having a clear container of cheerios and a box of raisins after reading this…
peace
fm
1-27-06
http://www.alyzabethan.blogspot.com

]]> By: RumorQueen http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/07/18/a-rambling-post/comment-page-1/#comment-55515 RumorQueen Sun, 20 Jul 2008 14:50:32 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/?p=1731#comment-55515 portlandval, I still deal with some anger over the fact that TT languished in an orphanage while we sat here waiting for her. Nothing anyone can do about it, and I know I'd be better off to be able to get past the anger, but I haven't really figured out how to do that just yet. When we bought TT that first pair of shoes, it was likely the first 'new' thing she'd ever had. She loved those shoes. They were special to her in a way that can probably only happen for someone who has never had anything to really call their own. And the idea that there was enough food she could eat anytime she wanted, and as much as she wanted. It was (and still is) heartbreaking. We still have to have food available for her pretty much all the time. Even if it's just a bowl of cereal in a see through container with a sealed top on it sitting out so she can see it, she needs the assurance of food close by. We can be in the car and she'll suddenly start crying that she's hungry. I keep tiny boxes of raisins in my purse so I have something to give her. If she discovers there is no food handy she panics. It's better than it was, but it's still there. Sometimes we go a week that food isn't so important, and then it all comes back and she must have food in sight at all times or she freaks. No child should feel that way. Ever. And the fact that if they'd let us adopt her a year earlier then maybe today she wouldn't have what is probably a horrible memory of starving. Yeah. I'm angry about that. She's my daughter, and someone caused pain to my child. There is probably no way around my not being angry on some level. portlandval, I still deal with some anger over the fact that TT languished in an orphanage while we sat here waiting for her. Nothing anyone can do about it, and I know I’d be better off to be able to get past the anger, but I haven’t really figured out how to do that just yet.

When we bought TT that first pair of shoes, it was likely the first ‘new’ thing she’d ever had. She loved those shoes. They were special to her in a way that can probably only happen for someone who has never had anything to really call their own.

And the idea that there was enough food she could eat anytime she wanted, and as much as she wanted. It was (and still is) heartbreaking. We still have to have food available for her pretty much all the time. Even if it’s just a bowl of cereal in a see through container with a sealed top on it sitting out so she can see it, she needs the assurance of food close by. We can be in the car and she’ll suddenly start crying that she’s hungry. I keep tiny boxes of raisins in my purse so I have something to give her. If she discovers there is no food handy she panics. It’s better than it was, but it’s still there. Sometimes we go a week that food isn’t so important, and then it all comes back and she must have food in sight at all times or she freaks.

No child should feel that way. Ever. And the fact that if they’d let us adopt her a year earlier then maybe today she wouldn’t have what is probably a horrible memory of starving. Yeah. I’m angry about that. She’s my daughter, and someone caused pain to my child. There is probably no way around my not being angry on some level.

]]> By: overjoyed http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/07/18/a-rambling-post/comment-page-1/#comment-55514 overjoyed Sun, 20 Jul 2008 02:22:24 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/?p=1731#comment-55514 Three years ago, on July 18, 2005 we met our precious little one (we had a wonderful day of remembering and celebrating yesterday). The wait for us was a little over six months and 18 months start to finish for us. I know from experience that this wait ends but our daughter wants her sibling and regularly says that China is taking too long. That's the hardest part of all. Three years ago, on July 18, 2005 we met our precious little one (we had a wonderful day of remembering and celebrating yesterday). The wait for us was a little over six months and 18 months start to finish for us. I know from experience that this wait ends but our daughter wants her sibling and regularly says that China is taking too long. That’s the hardest part of all.

]]> By: portlandval http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/07/18/a-rambling-post/comment-page-1/#comment-55513 portlandval Sat, 19 Jul 2008 21:47:27 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/?p=1731#comment-55513 We came home 2 weeks ago and I can tell you the following: 1. you do NOT forget the wait..I am rather bitter about it and trying to get over it. Our child was languishing in an orphanage while we waited for paperwork to come through. We ended up with EXACTLY the child we should have in this family and love her dearly. I am bitter because of her developmental delays. We could have seen less delay in her growth (maybe.) I am trying to look forward. Maybe I am still in shock over the addition of a new family member and I'm trying hard to purge the bitterness over the process. 2. it is DEFINITELY worth the wait if you can stand it. Your heart melts when they smile and hurts when they cry. I now have two little Chinese girls. When our new little 2.5 year old saw all her clothes and shoes in her own room she almost fell over from grinning so big. When she went to the grocery store and saw all the food she seemed amazed. I think she likes it here and someday I hope we can talk about it all. She is very mechanical and inquisitive so I know she'll catch up to her age group. But...I am glad the wait is done, over, and kaput. It was draining, sad and created a horrible, unspoken, invisible impact on the day-to-day quality of my marriage. We came home 2 weeks ago and I can tell you the following:
1. you do NOT forget the wait..I am rather bitter about it and trying to get over it. Our child was languishing in an orphanage while we waited for paperwork to come through. We ended up with EXACTLY the child we should have in this family and love her dearly. I am bitter because of her developmental delays. We could have seen less delay in her growth (maybe.) I am trying to look forward. Maybe I am still in shock over the addition of a new family member and I’m trying hard to purge the bitterness over the process.
2. it is DEFINITELY worth the wait if you can stand it. Your heart melts when they smile and hurts when they cry. I now have two little Chinese girls. When our new little 2.5 year old saw all her clothes and shoes in her own room she almost fell over from grinning so big. When she went to the grocery store and saw all the food she seemed amazed. I think she likes it here and someday I hope we can talk about it all. She is very mechanical and inquisitive so I know she’ll catch up to her age group. But…I am glad the wait is done, over, and kaput. It was draining, sad and created a horrible, unspoken, invisible impact on the day-to-day quality of my marriage.

]]> By: Carolina http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/07/18/a-rambling-post/comment-page-1/#comment-55512 Carolina Sat, 19 Jul 2008 20:57:53 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/?p=1731#comment-55512 Thanks for the post. I'm so tired of hearing that "once the child is in your arms you will forget the wait". Coming up on our two year LID anniversary with no end of the wait in sight, I can only echo your sentiments. The wait is wretched for everyone. I'm also tired of hearing that we should "just" switch to special needs and we deserve to wait since we aren't switching. Switching is not an option for us with our agency. I guess I'm rambling too! Thanks for the post. I’m so tired of hearing that “once the child is in your arms you will forget the wait”. Coming up on our two year LID anniversary with no end of the wait in sight, I can only echo your sentiments. The wait is wretched for everyone. I’m also tired of hearing that we should “just” switch to special needs and we deserve to wait since we aren’t switching. Switching is not an option for us with our agency. I guess I’m rambling too!

]]> By: Ruby Hill http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/07/18/a-rambling-post/comment-page-1/#comment-55511 Ruby Hill Sat, 19 Jul 2008 12:05:52 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/?p=1731#comment-55511 Just wanted to share this article, posted today: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080719/ap_on_re_as/china_the_shutdown It is about Beijing shutting down to reduce pollution before the Olympics. It includes information about Beijing businesses and governments being asked to reduce hours worked. Just wanted to share this article, posted today:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080719/ap_on_re_as/china_the_shutdown

It is about Beijing shutting down to reduce pollution before the Olympics. It includes information about Beijing businesses and governments being asked to reduce hours worked.

]]> By: savannahmama http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/07/18/a-rambling-post/comment-page-1/#comment-55510 savannahmama Sat, 19 Jul 2008 02:28:48 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/?p=1731#comment-55510 RQ, thanks for your candor about how the wait has and still does have a place in your thoughts, and to all those in RQ-ville who have shared the same. Your acknowledgement means the world to us! asiwait, I really liked your analogy about waiting in line for a roller coaster... We've certainly had to be creative in coming up with ways to survive this wait and stay sane. That might make for an interesting topic of conversation while we wait (there's that word again!) for the next rumours to arrive... RQ, thanks for your candor about how the wait has and still does have a place in your thoughts, and to all those in RQ-ville who have shared the same. Your acknowledgement means the world to us!

asiwait, I really liked your analogy about waiting in line for a roller coaster…

We’ve certainly had to be creative in coming up with ways to survive this wait and stay sane. That might make for an interesting topic of conversation while we wait (there’s that word again!) for the next rumours to arrive…

]]> By: waitingformeiling http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/07/18/a-rambling-post/comment-page-1/#comment-55508 waitingformeiling Fri, 18 Jul 2008 21:08:02 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/?p=1731#comment-55508 My agency has confirmed that China has finished review of February at least for my agency. My agency has confirmed that China has finished review of February at least for my agency.

]]> By: ford http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/07/18/a-rambling-post/comment-page-1/#comment-55507 ford Fri, 18 Jul 2008 21:04:27 +0000 http://chinaadopttalk.com/?p=1731#comment-55507 Just having someone acknowledge the Wait means a ton to us. They don't have to say a lot. We're not expecting that. It's just having them "understand", no matter how little, a part of what we are experiencing. I know everyone has their own trials in life. I hope we'll be better at recognizing and appreciating the mountains and valleys others are going through in their life journey as a result of our own... peace fm LID 1-27-06 www.alyzabethan.blogspot.com Just having someone acknowledge the Wait means a ton to us. They don’t have to say a lot. We’re not expecting that. It’s just having them “understand”, no matter how little, a part of what we are experiencing.

I know everyone has their own trials in life. I hope we’ll be better at recognizing and appreciating the mountains and valleys others are going through in their life journey as a result of our own…
peace
fm
LID 1-27-06
http://www.alyzabethan.blogspot.com

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