She came from an orphanage that I would classify as a good orphanage. She was clean and well fed, could have had one more bottle a day, but she wasn’t malnourished. But she just hadn’t had enough of the human contact and stimulation that she would have needed, as there wasn’t enough care takers for that. Things that should be a human right for every baby. I was just angry at the world for the unfairness for my daughter, the unfairness of being abandoned at such a young age, the unfairness of not receiving the love and care that she deserved, the unfairness of meeting the harsh world way before she ever should have had to. She should have had someone -someone to love her, someone to protect her, someone to take care of her - instead of being alone among lots of other babies. The anger has now subdued, but it’s still there, deep down.

I couldn’t agree more. I cannot ever thank my daughter’s foster parents enough. I was lucky enough to get back a camera full of pictures and hope one day to be able to express my gratitude for all the love, security and care they so obviously showered on my child from 3 months to 13 months old.

When I met the SWI director, I was taken aback. Having expected a middle-aged man, I was surprised to meet a warm, grandmotherly-type woman who made weekly visits to my daughter’s foster parents. I grabbed my paper with the (seemingly hundreds of) questions to ask her. When I turned back to her, her eyes were filled with tears as they moved back in forth from the computer screen (which had photos I had already uploaded onto my website) to my daughter sleeping in the crib. She started to weep and speak to me. My guide translated, “I can see that she is already deeply loved…. she is my favorite.”

Well, forget it. Needless to say, I didn’t get to “The Questions”. We hugged and I told her, “Thank you for loving my daughter and taking such good care of her.” We wept in each others arms, she went over to the crib, leaned over and kissed Isabel goodbye and then left. It was perhaps the most moving experience of my life.

I know I might be in the minority but I just wanted to express that some of these children are well-taken care of and loved beyond measure during their wait to come home.

Laureen
http://www.babysites.com/sites/laureenmary

Hey I wonder if this will be flagged? :))

This has been a great forum of discussion. I have no thoughts on the slowdown as I just don’t have enough information. We have not traveled yet, but I know someone with a child from our daughter’s orphanage saw lots of kiddos several months back on her visit there. And MOST of the children are in foster care. I wonder about all of it from all angles. I cannot believe that abandonment has shifted THIS MUCH in such a short time though.

On foster care and domestic, same thing for us as many others. Our SW told us to forget domestic as we already have two children. She said foster care in our state requires the placed child to be the youngest and our youngest was not even 5 when we explored this option. She said it would be rare to get a placement younger than 4. We would have been open to siblings though. It is not always a simple answer.

For those of you waiting for your first child, I have said this before but I am sorry and just sending you a cyber-hug. I can’t imagine your pain and even losses you may have endured before this wait. I have not been there. For those of you waiting who began being told of very different wait times, again I have no real words but I am so sorry for all you are dealing with. We began this journey knowing we would do SN and knowing a realistic time frame once we received a referral and accepted it. I can’t imagine being told repeatedly one thing and seeing another come to fruition.