Rumors, and rumors of rumors
I reported on January 15th that the “the general atmosphere at CCAA is better than it has been in a long time, and that there is hope that things may not be so dismal in the near future”. I also reported this was coming from multiple places, and that while we’ve had these kinds of rumors before, it somehow feels different this time.
I still get an email or PM every two or three days from someone else who has talked with someone who has contact with the CCAA and this is again reported in some manner.
I’m really not sure what to make of it at this point. Obviously, the last referral batch was teeny tiny so any speed up must be something they see coming in the future. I have been told on several occasions that the SWI’s report ahead of time how many files they will be submitting a few months out, it is kind of a permission thing, like they are getting permission to submit that many. So the CCAA does know what they’ll be dealing with in a couple of months. Is that what has them feeling optimistic? I wish we knew for sure.
As I said before, we’ve seen versions of a “speed up” rumor before, only to see things slow down even more. So I’m very hesitant to post about these rumors again because the last thing I want to do is raise what might turn out to be false hopes. But I’m here to report on what I’m hearing. And this is what keeps coming. And it is still coming: even after that last tiny batch, the general atmosphere seems to be one of hope, that things are going to get better.
I will say again, and I’m going to bold it this time: I do not think this rumor is something that your family should base any big decisions or plans on at this point in time.
I’ve got it down in the R2 range, even though technically it has come from enough places it could be an R3. I’m not giving it an R3, I’m giving it an R2 at this point.
If you go to the Rumor Ratings page you’ll see that an R2 is a rumor to keep an eye on. Not a rumor to get excited about, not a rumor to make you change plans. Just something to keep an eye on.
February 6th, 2009 at 10:52 am
I SOO hope this is true! How long do you think it would be before we see the improvement, if it is true?
Feels like forever…
Karen
LID 4/29/08
February 6th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Of course it’s hard not to get your hopes up. And, mine are up whether I want them to be or not.
But, as RQ pointed out, rumors of a “speed-up” have happened in the past and things have only slowed down.
Maybe they are happy that once they finish reviewing April 2007 the new rules go into effect and there will be a lot less work????
Who knows. As I said, my hopes up, even though I’ve been burned 4,567,465 times ;-)
February 6th, 2009 at 11:27 am
RQ,
I too have heard things along this lines as well from a couple different sources! Our agency too seems to be encouraged by some “rumors of rumors” that are out there floating around. It will be interesting to see what transpires in the next few months!
Denise
February 6th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Maybe the all just got a raise. Maybe the CCAA put in new vending machines. Maybe the Chinese government changed the tax laws and the will all be getting money back on their returns. Who knows?
Until there is evidence that the optimism has something to do with the referral rate, I think we should all be really careful with our hearts.
February 6th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
I’ll take any rumour. And then decide whether to believe it or not. I have my smirky smile on now. Keep ‘em coming RQ.
February 6th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
All I can say is that they do see a speedup…after lid’s through May 2007 and done. Until then, I still see that wait time being about 6 years. After May 2007, I think things will be back to 15-20 days. Until then, I think 2-7 days per month will be the norm.
February 6th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
I’m ready for some good news, we sure need it these days.
February 6th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
I guess only time will tell.
February 6th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
At least someone at CCAA sees that these wait times need to be changed.
February 6th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Hi RQ…..on a side note…..I keep reading articles and seeing news reports about thousands and thousands of people in China who are returning home to the countryside after their factories are closed and are unable to find work. I also saw that there is a severe drought in several provinces that is, according to a source in China, unlike anything they have seen in years. Have you heard that this has had any impact on abandonments?
February 6th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
PS–I am not asking this out of “wishful thinking” because I am in line waiting for a child. I am just concerned about the situation and curious if there is any impact. I am one of those unfortunate single women who has been cut out of adopting again even thought I would badly love to adopt a sister for my daughter.
February 6th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
thanks for reporting the rumor, even with all these qualifications.
the bottom line is that the rate has to speed up at some point, the current extremely slow speed is simply unsustainable. the people getting kids now had an almost three year wait and if the current processing speed keeps up, i would be expecting to wait 6-8 years before they reach my 4-20-07 LID. there have got to be a lot of people in line who simply can’t wait that long. things will happen in the meantime, they’ll lose their job, they’ll find another way to have a kid, they’ll have medical problems, they’ll decide they don’t want a child after all, etc. i’m convinced that it can’t stay this slow forever, even if CCAA doesn’t do anything to try to speed things up. it’s just a question of how long before the tipping point is reached.
February 6th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
I agree with upyernoz. There has to be a point that things improve. We have a LID of 6/2/08. And I am sure that is laughable compared to those with LID’s in ‘06 and ‘07. I am new to this site and am just really puzzeled what the hold up is. I just don’t understand what is taking so long.
February 6th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
upyernoz (cute name) is true about the lack of sustainability but I think its one sided–just us paps waiting and our agencies will stop being “sustained”. We “think” that the numbers of children being placed has probably remained strong except they are going domestically and that’s why IA so down. Doesn’t the CCAA handle domestic as well? They could be happy simply to have work, no big deal whether its domestic or international.
February 6th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
I heard today that based on the actual number of orphan files submitted to the CCAA for adoption in the 2008 in several of the larger provinces, that it is unlikely that there would be a speed up in the first half of 2009.
February 6th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
arw – is this information reliable? and is it from one source?
February 6th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Good selection of words……and above all HOPE is good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
February 6th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
True or false, rumor or fact…it has me working that “refresh” button again and thinking sweet thoughts. That’s really all we can do…stay positive, focused and committed to the process.
Oh, one other thing we have to do…continue to support each other. This experience is not for the faint of heart and no one else can understand what we are all experiencing.
This will be our first child and even though we did not go through years of infertility issues (we simply waited too long to get started) I feel like I understand what couples who’ve experienced that must have gone through. Each month, when the batches are small, it is like the pregnancy test is negative. I know it’s different but the disappointment is real and painful.
So, I’m going to continue to hit the “refresh” button and focus on the positive posts. Here’s to a great weekend!!
Susan & Joe
LID 06-10-06
February 6th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Noendinsight, I read it in a post today on an adoption forum by a member I know to be well informed, but just speculating.
February 6th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Our agency said in it’s Feb newsletter said that the director of the CCAA has been encouraging the welfare institutes to have more children paperwork ready. This is due to increased wait time. Our agency is not one to spread rumors. They are usually very quiet and getting information can be like pulling teeth. So this made me feel a little optimistic. Anyone heard anything like this?
February 6th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
“the general atmosphere at CCAA is better than it has been in a long time, and that there is hope that things may not be so dismal in the near future” —-I read this not as a speed up in the wait for US. It may simply mean that CCAA is happy that they are not forced to rely on the international community to adopt their children. They may be very well pleased that the wait is so SLOW for us because it is a result of good times in China. It may be that they are proud that their domestic adoptions are picking up so much.
No, no one will convince me that the statement above means a quicker wait for any of us…and I am NOT trying to be pessimistic, just trying to keep myself in reality. Our wait will continue to crawl along, I am CONVINCED of that!
February 6th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Thanks for reporting this RQ. I have to say though that I have heard about a speed up since I began my adoption over three years ago, and I’m already home with my daughter. Like you, I will believe in a speed up when I see it! This last batch was a huge blow…I feel so sad and frustrated for all of my friends who are still waiting.
Wendy
http://www.adoptionandfire.com
February 6th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
I’m “thinking sweet thoughts” too, Susan.
About “sustainability” – I continue to believe that things have to speed up a little, even before we get to the May 07 LIDs, because at some point, I think the CCAA will become concerned about the viability of referring children to families from whom they’ve heard nothing, basically, for 3 or 4 or 5 years. Or, if their administrators aren’t personally concerned, they might at least be concerned about public (media) scrutiny. A lot can happen in peoples’ lives in that much time.
On the other hand, maybe rather than speeding up, they’ll just start requiring periodic updates from PAPs. So much for thinking sweet thoughts….
February 6th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
bvnmusic,
yes we have heard similar to what you have heard.
this is a copy of the e-mail:
Year 2009 will be the Year of the Ox, and the Chinese will welcome this new Lunar Year on January 26th. Xin Nian Kuai Le!
Greetings to each of you and I wish you a Happy New Year! Below are updates on the China adoption program. There are a few changes on the horizon, I have attached a letter below that I received from our Chinese contact. The latest referrals to be issued were for March 2006. Please be mindful of the fee increase that is due when you travel, (as addressed in the letter below).
As we all continue to wait, I need to remind you of your responsibility to stay current on your I600a/171h and home study. I know in many cases this is an additional reminder of how long the wait has become and the financial expense already committed, but it is imperative that you remain current to avoid any problems down the road.
The wait will get shorter in 2009, hopefully…..
As we all know, the waiting time for the China program is the worst thing that can happen to the probably the best adoption program. But from some recent development, we may have a reason to be optimistic for 2009. The basic “problem” for the slow down is the competition between domestic adoptions to the international adoptions. International adoption has been losing its attractions to the directors of orphanages because a, director can get more “grey money” for the orphanages through domestic adoption, b, too much paperwork and a relatively long process.
CCAA has some policies to address those issues.
First, the increase of donation from US$3,000 to US$5,000. This will encourage orphanage directors to prefer international adoption program more.
Second, simplifying the paperwork at the provincial level. This will shorten the whole processing time required for international adoption.
Third, let the provincial bureau of social welfare to limit domestic adoption cases. CCAA cannot order orphanage directors directly to do things since CCAA does not provide operation fund for them. However, CCAA as a federal government branch, can put pressure on provincial government to do so. Provincial government is the fund providers to orphanages, and at the same time, prefers international adoption because it also gets some revenue from processing paperwork for international adoption. They get nothing from domestic adoptions. Now, both the federal government and the provincial government have teamed together and developed a policy leaning towards international adoption. In the context of China’s political system, it carries a decisive weight.
Let’s hope that the above measures will unite more families with their Chinese babies in 2000. That is our New Year resolution.
end of e-mail…..
We can only hope and pray!
We are in the review room now…lid 04-28-07…how long do you think the april 07 group will be in the review room? I have no history on review rooms…kinda new to the blog world…
thanks in advance
Have a great weekend
waiting same as you :)
Tammy
February 6th, 2009 at 11:39 pm
someone please correct me, please…
but doesnt the above letter say that the decision as to whether a child is adopted domestically or through IA comes down to a decision about money?
February 7th, 2009 at 12:55 am
Yes Windthrow. I did not like the tone of that letter. I don’t want to be in competition with a Domestic Chinese adoption. I don’t want to feel that I “beat” someone to a child because of a larger payment or more pressure being put on a provincial governing body.
That all sounds wrong and unethical to me.
February 7th, 2009 at 7:50 am
What is grey money?
February 7th, 2009 at 8:15 am
I agree, things have to improve, they certainly can’t get any worse. The question is how much? I don’t think it will ever be like it was years ago, but it has to get a little better at some point.
Ian, it’s nice to see someone here with a LID close to ours – 7/11/08. I don’t feel crazy and alone anyone, now it’s just crazy. LOL.
February 7th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Concerning the above letter, I’m surprised by its contents because with China being a Hague country, I thought they had to favor domestic adoption. I believe domestic is better for any child.
I do agree with upyernise (we have the same LID) that this can’t be the pace forever. Though just HOW LONG can it be the pace? My continued frustration with all countries right now (mad at everyone!):) is their willingness to leave children parentless for political and/or financial reasons. Our social worker for our home study said they’ve slowed down fos adopts here in this country due to finances. So, the U.S. is included in this ugly behavior. Talk to me about not enough children when all the orphanages world wide are empty! Shame on any director of an orphange that looks at the children as a source of income, not trying to do everything possible to get them out of there~ D.O. or IA! Find parents for these children!! Everyday they grow older and it’s one more day of their childhood without a family. What’s more tragic to me than being an orphan is being the person that can do something to change that and chooses not to or takes their sweet time doing it. Time means nothing to them but everything to the little child that waits, childhood slipping away! Makes me so mad!!
On that note, hope everyone has a nice weekend!
February 7th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Don’t worry windthrow, you are still better of two evils LOL!
“grey money” means money-under-the-table… in other word buying a baby.
Funny, the longer this wait is the more people second guess their decisions.
February 7th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
As for ARW’s first post, my guess is that he’s playing the part of the heckler. I tend to agree with the sentiment that there isn’t likely to be a speed up in the next four months, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t just heckling to see what kind of a reaction he will get.
—-
As for the cut and paste of the agency letter… first, we ask that you not post that kind of thing verbatim, it goes against basic netiquette… but ignoring that for the moment, I am disappointed that an agency would put that kind of thing out and think that anyone could see it as a good thing.
If domestic adoption has grown enough to be able to adopt all of the abandoned NSN babies then the international NSN program should not exist. If it is about who will pay the most money then the Hague people should step in and shut the whole thing down. How could an agency say something like that? They are supposed to be the adoption professionals here, they should darn well know better.
Domestic adoption has NOT picked up to that extent. There are too many orphanages with babies under their care that have not been adopted. And there are too many babies in foster care. If domestic adoption had picked up to that extent then the stories of full orphanages, or orphanages with a whole lot of babies farmed out to foster care so the orphanage can look empty, would not be there.
The problem isn’t that there are no babies. The problem is that the babies in the care of SWI’s are not being documented and then having paperwork prepared so they can be referred internationally. The increased donation is supposed to give more incentive to directors to go to the trouble of preparing the paperwork so they can be adopted. The increased donation is not so that international families are suddenly paying more than domestic families have been paying.
These are children we are talking about. Not commodities. The fact that an agency so obviously sees them that way makes my blood run cold.
February 7th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
au contraire, with respect to arw’s posts
“# arw Says:
February 6th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Noendinsight, I read it in a post today on an adoption forum by a member I know to be well informed, but just speculating.
”
not “heckling”. a genuine post by a genuine person not well-received on this board is what he refers to…ta.
February 7th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Sorry, trying hard not to heckle here.
In trying to better understand the posted agency e-mail, are there any parts of it that could be ruled as unquestionably true or false?
February 7th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
au contraire, with respect to arw’s posts, arw is not “heckling”…he refers to a genuine post by a genuine person not well-received on this board…
February 7th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
wondering why i’ve been put on such severe moderation all of a sudden…because i pointed out that arw is not “heckling”?
February 8th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
RQ, I think you’re right about domestic adoption not picking up to that extent. I know a professional, well-connected Chinese couple (citizens) living in China who have been enduring heartbreak after heartbreak trying to adopt their first child, any gender. They’re very gracious about it, but I know it’s hard for them to understand why they have to wait so long, too. I don’t know what to tell them.
February 8th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
RQ
I share your concern that children are being viewed as commodities. For obvious reasons, this is unacceptable. With that in mind, I’d like to comment on terminology that I feel perpetuates the idea of children as faceless objects. Month after month, we refer to the children referred as “batches.” For example, “I’d be really excited with a big batch o’ referrals this month.” Am I the only one who views this as offensive? I don’t consider my daughter to be part of a “batch.” If you ask me to make a batch of cookies for my daughter’s birthday party, I’ll gladly do so. If you ask me to label my, and everyone else’s child from China, as part of a batch….well, that I just can’t stomach.
This may seem nitpicky on my part, and that’s okay with me. I don’t generally get hung up on language that is overly politically correct, but this is a term that needs to be discarded, IMHO.
February 8th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
sisyphus – I understand your point, but I do need to be able to communicate. Do you have an alternative suggestion?
The CCAA thinks in terms of batches. They do one batch a month. A batch of paperwork, that turns into a batch of referrals. I had never considered someone might see it as a batch of babies. My terminology comes from the way the CCAA matching room works. I can’t think of another way to accurately refer to it, but I am open to suggestions.
February 8th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
RQ
My thanks for your response. Whenever someone asks me about how things are going in China, my typical response is to replace the term “batch” with “group of children.” For instance: “Last month, China matched an inordinately small group of children to families for IA.” I know, it’s a bit unwieldy, but I feel that this humanizes the process. Is it as concise as using the term “batch?” No. Do I feel more comfortable using the term “group of children?” Absolutely.
Again, some may feel that I’m overly scrutinizing random verbiage, verbiage that reflects the machine-like process constituting IA in China, but that’s okay with me. It helps remind me that every child matched with a family is that family’s son or daughter, and not just a statistic. Again, I appreciate your response to this.
February 9th, 2009 at 2:05 am
sisyphus~ thanks for sharing because I haven’t thought of it that way. There’s plenty that I think we all get sensitive to but obviously we all have those things that bother us more than others. When people ask, I share that China got through __ days of LIDS this time, as those not knowing would probably need more of an explanation as to what’s a”batch”. I also think, “placing children” comes out as I’m pretty sure it’s what my agency always says when sharing. I don’t think that they have ever used the term “batch”.
That said, as a waiting mom, I’m so glad that statistics are shared here. And, all words have many definitions, and I’ve never thought of a batch of cookies when a world wide
referral group has come in for the month and been referred to as a “batch.” Though maybe we need to be just that sensitive. We’ve been reading all these articles from adult adoptees and what would they say about the word “batch” being used.
This weekend I saw a cute picture that I wanted to add to our adoption website. My first thought was that it was something unique to China adoptions and I wanted to update our site (don’t want to share the picture so not to offend anyone that has it on their site) but in the end, I realized that it was a Chinese symbol created in the U.S. not China, and started to think about how my son/daugher would feel seeing it years to come. Would it be cute to him/her?
I was on a site this weekend and a family was sharing why they chose China. I hope their little one never reads it, it broke my heart. I usually, like to think I’m sensitive to such things, but thanks to RQ, I’m hyper sensitive right now and I haven’t finished the reading lists yet.
This will be our second adopition and we are over the moon excited. I know when my son/daughter is
placed in our arms it will be one of the happiest days of my life, but everything up to that point for our child will not have been happy~ abandonment, institutionalized living or foster care. No parent photographing every first… and we will come along in all our joy and wisk him/her away from her country and everything that is uniquely her culture. So, sysphus, you may be right in “overly scrutinizing random verbiage”, if it means trying to look at this whole process of adoption more from our child’s point of view.
February 9th, 2009 at 10:33 am
Personally, I think of “batch” as a batch of paperwork. I don’t think of it as a batch of children so it doesn’t bother me.
As far as the agency letter – it made me sick. Children should be place domestically. Only when they can’t be should they be place internationally. This isn’t just my opinion (or pretty much everyone else’s) but to do otherwise is not following the rules of being a Hague country. For this agency to even think such a thing, never mind put it in writing for their clients disturbs me a great deal.
February 9th, 2009 at 10:55 am
So what is the deal with this agency email? Is it a hoax to stir people up? Has this person ever posted here or in the forum before? Are any other forum members coroborating that this email is legit? It seems very odd that an agency is openly talking to their clients about ‘grey money’ and suggesting IA will supplant domestic adoption?
February 9th, 2009 at 11:58 am
arw – i thought the same thing too. maybe it’s fake.
February 9th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
It’s getting so hard to navigate gracefully in a world of political correctness where offense can be taken at nearly everything that one might say. It can be quite daunting and stifling to the very freedom of speech that we have enjoyed in this country. I think the more we tend to make of things the more our children will make of them and be troubled by them to excess. I’m fine with “batch”.
February 9th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Either it is a hoax, or an agency is trying to raise hopes with a reason that things may speed up soon and they have no clue what is wrong with what they wrote.
No one has emailed me as of yet to verify they got this letter from their agency, and to tell me the agency name as of yet.
February 9th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Regarding domestic adoptions…
A Chinese friend of mine said that her culture is not big on adoption. She said that she would like to adopt, but that neither her family nor her husband’s would be accepting of an adopted child. My first thought was it had something to do with their reverence for their ancestors, but I don’t know. Has anyone else heard that in general the Chinese culture is not pro-adoption?
I also recall hearing that China had hoped to domestically place the children who were orphaned after the earthquake and months after the event only one had been placed. Does anyone know if this is true?
Thanks!
February 9th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Yes Christine, most who have fertility problems are more likely to go through the black market to get a baby. They will never tell the child or any relatives the child was adopted. It is not unusual for a woman to fake a pregnancy and then register the child as biological, so that family members and friends of the family will accept the child as part of the family. That is changing some in the cities, but not in the countryside.
I’ve been told that most of the domestic adoptions happening seem to be for those families who already have their legal limit of bio kids, and they adopt through an SWI because that is the only way to have another legal child (who will have paperwork and will be able to go to school) without paying a fine.
I do not know about the children orphaned due to the earthquake.
February 9th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Wow, RQ! Thank you so much for the information. I never knew any of that about their domestic adoptions.
–ChristineG
LID 12-25-07
February 9th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
I know for a fact that my Chinese friends applied to adopt a child orphaned by the earthquake. They have not been able to conceive after many years, and have been trying to adopt with the full support of their families. They were matched with a little girl but the adoption was ultimately disrupted by the child’s extended family, who changed their minds about agreeing to the adoption. They are now waiting in a different program. I know that people in China have traditionally not been open about adoption, but, as RQ has pointed out, that is changing, particularly in the cities.
February 10th, 2009 at 10:42 am
I’m very disturbed by the thought that Chinese couples can have so much trouble adopting when children are being referred internationally.
As far as the children orphaned due to the earthquake…it seemed as if they were valued more because they were “wanted” by their birthparents. They weren’t “thrown-away.” Some Chinese who would never consider adopting an abandoned baby suddenly stepped forward interested in adopting a true orphan.
I’m obviously not speaking of ALL people in China, but some, and that’s in line with some of the cultural aspects we’re aware of.
February 10th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
This is an add-on to Noendinsight’s comment about how some people in China may view adopting other people’s children–as may some people of any culture……
This past Saturday I met friends for lunch. One of my friends is Vietnamese. She was born there and came to the US when she was 12. My friend brought her mother along and the mother was silent for most of the meal, but watched how I interacted with my 4 year old daughter. Not long before we left she asked me how old my daughter was when I adopted her from China. I said 10 months. She said, “I don’t understand people like you who can love a child who is not your own. I could never love a child who did not come from me.” I was rather taken aback by her comment, but said, “My daughter could not be more of a daughter to me even if she was born from me. She is everything in the world to me.” My friend’s mother just shook her head and said she could never feel that way.
Needless to say I had nothing more to say to my friend’s mother after that. I know there are many people from many different cultures who feel the same way or who feel you should only adopt from your own culture. I got asked a lot why I chose to adopt from China rather than the US. I just let their comments flow over my head and realize that not everyone is open-minded. That’s just how the world is.
February 10th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Even prior to the earthquake, there were reports that there is a great demand for domestic adoption in China. Here is one of them:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2007-11-20-Chinainside_N.htm
February 11th, 2009 at 10:00 am
jlync1 – very sad. I wonder what would happen if she found out that there was a mixup at her daughter’s birth and she went home with the wrong baby? Would she still love her?
February 11th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Overjoyed -
I appreciate your comments and perspective -
“I know when my son/daughter is placed in our arms it will be one of the happiest days of my life, but everything up to that point for our child will not have been happy~ abandonment, institutionalized living or foster care.”
However, I would like to take this opportunity to encourage us all to think a little differently about this – about things not being happy for our children in the orphanage, etc. Please remember that this way of life is all they know. To them it is normal, to us it is neglectful and devastating. To them, they know no other way and they cannot define it us unhappy or happy. Most of the children are far too young to comprehend this concept. Do they know what neglect feels like? I kind of think they don’t know they are being neglected because that’s the way they’ve always been treated. I only mention these things because what will be the happiest moments of our life are, at first, some of the most traumatic for them. Being taken away from all they know by complete strangers. Food for thought from a mom to two adopted beauties and waiting on #3.
February 11th, 2009 at 10:57 am
girlschmidty – excellent point. Also, for kids who are in foster care, some of them do have it really good. Some are worse off in foster care than they would have been in the orphanage, but there are foster care situations where the child has been well cared for and loved.
In any event, you are correct that the child will not see the original handover as positive. We look different than anyone they’ve ever seen before, we talk in a language they don’t understand, and they are away from everything they’ve ever known. It doesn’t matter if they had it bad or had it good, the handover is scary and different and you can’t expect them to realize that it’s for the better.