Comments on: Quiet, and a discussion about making waves

By: Silvia

Silvia — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 10:28:02 +0000

Hola everybody,

Thanks for this post. I think, all project should have an end, a planning. As in other countries where we can adopt, to know when, more or less we are going to got our referral, if we not know when we will finish our project it becomes an adventure.

By: mommychinaadopt

mommychinaadopt — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 04:01:59 +0000

As much as we hate having to be quiet and endure this wait. It is what we must do in order to get OUR children and if anyone out there jeopardizes this after we’ve been waiting this long………..well, that would be MEAN! So just be quiet people and leave CCAA alone. I’ve had my moments when I wanted to just call them up and give them a piece of mind too because of the frustration of the wait, but that would be plain out STUPID because they could get ticked off and just shut it all down….then where would we be. So, do your ranting and raving and screaming and fussing privately but do NOT mess this up. Those of us who have been waiting for 4 years (LID 04/05/06) do not need some hot-heads flying off the handle and causing the program to be shut down permanantly. We’ve come this far, and yes it is HARD…….VERY HARD…….but it’s all we have at this point.

By: waitingformeiling

waitingformeiling — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 03:24:51 +0000

I think RQ is right. We are LID 9/12/09 and have accepted a referral of a baby boy that is CL/CP. We already have two daughters and really wanted a boy anyway. I know most people here applied to China because they want a girl, but if you are open to a boy like us then there are many boys with very minor needs or even healthy if you are willing to adopt a child that is 5 yrs or older.
Our agencies SN list is huge right now. I really feel that China is focusing more on SN right now.

By: huntergirl

huntergirl — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 00:56:46 +0000

RQ….I totally agree with you! As much as we’ve been frustrated (LID 4-3-06), waiting 4 years…..I still would never want to do ANYTHING to upset the CCAA……….we just want our DAUGHTER!

Thanks for ALL you do and ALL your posts. I read your site EVERY single day! Gives us hope!

By: eversopatientnot

eversopatientnot — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 20:18:55 +0000

I am w/ AZAWA. We as Americans have come to expect or should I say FEEL as it is our RIGHT to adopt. We sometimes forget that we are simply being allowed the wonderful oppurtunity, & graceously(sp),being PERMITTED to adopt these little angels. I DO feel that the C*A* should or could have stepped in a long time ago and slowed all the doosiers being submitted, so as to not bring about the huge log jam. BUT I also am of the understanding that the C*A* told the agencies to police themselves. SO I mainly blame the agencies. They knew that too many dossiers were being submitted but I feel they were more $$$$ inclined. NOW they are crying the blues about how they had NO idea it would get this bad. The math was real simple China only allowed X# of children to be adopted each year and that # stayed fairly consistant each and every year. The agencies knew that in the proir years they had submitted X# of dossiers. ALL of a sudden they were submitting 2X the dossiers that they had submitted in the years prior and took NO course of action to say whoa we need to slow down here. I believe, (correct me if I’m wrong RQ), that in the years just prior to the massive dossiers submissions that China had implemented an qouta type system, and each agency was only allowed to submit based what they had submitted in the year(s) prior. When China decided to stop the monitoring and told the agencies to handle it themselves is when they, (The agencies), went into overdrive and saw the $$$$ in their eyes and chose to throw everything out the window. IF we as PAP’s and AP’s start throwing a Temper Tantrum I for one believe that the C*A* and China as a Gov’t could simply tell US and the rest of the world “… for these reasons we have closed our international adoption program and will not permit outsiders to have the oppurtunity to adopt our beautiful children effective immediately.” I’m with RQ – It really sucks but if my wife and I are to ever have a child, we need to be thankful for the oppurtunity China has given us. NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES. We have too much time and money invested in this to simply walk away or move to a different program. Thanks for your ear.

By: PIJill

PIJill — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 19:50:21 +0000

I completely agree with this post. I also think that, as a waiting AP, my ‘issue’ isn’t with China, or the CCAA, but with the American agencies, specifically the two that I have dealt with, and who flat out lied to clients, including me, during the time I was amassing my dossier. Like other commenters here, I support China’s rights to run their program, but I think our real problem is that the American agencies blithely made assumptions about how they can treat us, based on the fact that they used to only have clients for 9-14 months, and honestly, even if you hated your agency, you only had to deal with them (and them with you!) for a year.

Now we are all locked in with agencies that were not truthful to us in the process. Part of the frustration from parents wanting to storm the CCAA is that if you read what their agencies promised them, we were promised a child – my contract states ‘things happen’ but every other bit of non-legal info my agency puts out there states that all waiting parents get children. And so to CYA, agencies point the finger at CCAA – it takes the heat from their clients off of them. If parents do band together and do this (which I hope they do NOT), I would blame the agencies for that action as well. Agencies have been firmly placing a lot of blame with the CCAA instead of taking responsibility for their part in the information miasma we all got caught in.

By: cdnmo22

cdnmo22 — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 18:23:14 +0000

I read this post and had to chuckle. If protesting against the CCAA and making noise would improve the wait I would be first in line. However we are dealing with a superpower playing by their own rules and if we don’t like the rules we have a choice to get out. We have been LID since 02-11-2007 and have made the choice to stay with the program knowing the timelines etc.
I would suggest a more Canadian approach, grin and bare the wait or leave without a fuss. It works for us :)
Maureen

By: azawa

azawa — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 17:32:41 +0000

I think this quote from our daughter’s preschool totally applies to dealing with the CCAA. “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.”

In applying to the China program we as parents are ASKING to be allowed to adopt a child. WE do not have a right to anyting. I think this process gives American parents in particular a taste of what it is like to live somewhere where you as an individual do not matter. Where you do not have very many rights and your vioce is of no concern to the authorities.

I agree that when dealing with China people need to do their research and reading. We are dealing with a different political system, different family systems and very different cultural systems.

Certainly this is not what anyone waiting wants to hear but sometimes the truth is difficult to take. It still makes it the truth though.

By: portlandval

portlandval — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 17:27:15 +0000

I have a confession to make…I have been a waiting parent two times for the China program. We came home with our second daughter in July, 2008. My memory of the pain and frustration of the horrible wait, the tears, the pressure on my marriage and the way our first daughter nagged and begged to go already….all has faded. The fact that RQ so clearly remembers is a testament to her as an individual. Her post shows great sensitivity to the issues despite the fact that she (like me) has been done with the process for quite some time. What a gift to this forum!

I am in total agreement that people should band together and “out” agencies making false claims about the wait. I don’t think we as Americans would respond well if China or Russia tried to tell us how we should handle America’s welfare system. Our agency was pretty bad… they got out of the business of international adoptions soon after we got home. I continue to do post placement reports because it helps document the development of our kids and family. If constructive action is to be taken to help families I think the pivotal points should be our own governments and agencies.

By: mdwaiting

mdwaiting — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 17:26:30 +0000

The thing that bothers me about this is – everyone wants a speed up – but what that means is we want more abandoned babies. Somehow that seems wrong. I think the agencies are at fault for continuing to sign up families when there were already too many in line. I guess the almighty dollar speaks.

I wish IA worked the other way around – finding families for children who are waiting and need homes. Rather than families waiting for children to become orphans…