The real life examples helped me to look at it the way children think, instead of the adult perspective. The research is a chapter on its own, so you can read or not read, depending on your interest in that aspect.

While not a parenting book, I’m finding Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman a very insightful read (but kind of heavy on the research side) It does have some chapters on helping your child to be optimistic and therefore happier.
http://www.amazon.com/Learned-Optimism-Change-Your-Mind/dp/1400078393/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258729130&sr=1-1

I agree with RQ’s thoughts on you don’t always need to agree with the author, you just need to learn alternatives to help form your own style for what fits your family. I have found that some things I couldn’t make fit my style when my kids were little, fit well as they got older.

I abhor the “Love and Logic” books. We took classes on that method & tried it for about a year, and my husband & I both feel we damaged our relationship with our son. We hope it’s not permanent damage.

My favorites include Raising Your Spirited Child, Unconditional Parenting, and Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control. I think the common theme among these books is that parenting & discipline is not so much about changing a child’s behavior as it is about the strength of the relationship between parent and child.

Most young children have very little concept of the word gratitude, so why would they keep a journal on it. My friend was absolutely blown away by all the pomp and ceremony that went with her dd graduating from kindergarten. She said this is going overboard. Her dd thought she had finished with school LOL.

The only parenting book that I’ve found to be helpful for understanding my kids and DH is Raising Your Spirited Child. A few techniques have been helpful but more than anything it has given me an understanding of both of my daughters AND DH.

RQ-
I couldn’t agree with you more regarding consequences to behavior. As a teacher, I often feel like I have to work harder teaching my freshmen the importance of their decisions (and the consequences that follow) than I do with my 3YO daughter.

Some of these teenagers seem astonished that I follow through with what I say I’ll do… as if no one has ever done that in their life before. It both saddens me (because they have reached 14 years of age without anyone holding them accountable) and frustrates me (that a teacher is doing what a parent should have done over a decade before).

M2I
http://www.MyChineseShamrock.blogspot.com

1. Be a parent, not a friend.
2. Follow through with discipline.
3. They only gave positive re-inforcement when it was deserved.
4. If one of the children wanted to join something recreational then they had to finish it even if they didn’t like it. After the time period ended then they didn’t have to do it again.
5. They all had chores to do. If one of the girls wanted an expensive item of clothing, then they would put a certain amount of money towards it, the rest they had to save.
6. They had family vacations twice a year, and one they could each bring a friend, the other was just family.
7. They said to listen to your children very carefully, not matter the age. What they have to say is important too.
8. Nip any inappropriate behavior in the bud instantly, don’t wait until later.
9. Do not allow your child to control the environment or argue with them. You are the parent. Listen, but you ultimately decide. You can compromise with older children.
10. Encourage them in everything they do, do not compare with other children in the house,
if the best they can achieve is a B, then celebrate that. If you feel they can do better then positive guidance towards that goal is worked on.
11. Community and helping others.
12. They say as a family we laugh together, cry together and celebrate together. You get what you put into it.

So far it has worked great with our kids.