Russia suspends adoptions to U.S.
Here’s the AP article.
What happens to families in Russia right now? And families in between their trips? What a nightmare. Children so close to getting a family, now stuck in an orphanage that much longer.
I hope the U.S. and Russian authorities work this out quickly.
I’m also still waiting for the woman to be charged with something. I know, there are those of you who think she shouldn’t be charged… but come on! She didn’t even let her agency know there was a problem? I’ve yet to see any evidence that she asked for help from anyone! She just got mad and sent him back, like he was an object instead of a person. Her agency is one of the responsible agencies out there, if they had known there was a problem, if they knew the woman wanted to disrupt, the would have placed the child somewhere else, with a family more capable of parenting this child.
If there are families in Russia right now who are now stuck in this mess… if you want attention drawn to you (and I suggest talking with your agency before making that decision), then feel free to get me your blog address and I’ll put it up on the front page here.
Also, I’ve put two blog posts up this morning, so be sure to see the one below this, about Haiti.
April 15th, 2010 at 8:03 am
RQ…I absolutely agree with you that she should face criminal charges. I don’t know if she has other children at home but if so, social services should also peek into her parenting ability. My heart simply aches for that child. Thinking about him on that plane, alone for so long, wondering what was happening to him is unbearable.
My heart also aches for all of the children who are still in Russian orphanages and for the families that are affected by this. What a horrible situation.
I did read that there were discussions between the two governments and a trip was being planned for US officials to visit Russia. Let’s all hope that happens quickly.
April 15th, 2010 at 8:34 am
I hope they can work this out quick too. Not the best relationship.
To think there are children visiting with parents or who have visited with PAP’s waiting to come home. It’s a dirty trick to play on them taking that person away when they were allowed to meet and get to know each other.
The agency was given no chance to intervene and kept up their visits to the family post placement.
I wonder if the mom wasn’t really the mom but the gram? The gram seems awfully involved: put the child on a plane, communcated with lawyer.. What if the gram wanted another child but couldn’t qualify so she got her daughter to “adopt” instead?
April 15th, 2010 at 8:57 am
I agree with you RQ also. At first I tried to keep an open mind…but for me it all comes down to not trying to get help. If the reports I have read are true then Mom didn’t reach out to any resources available. And to me that is neglect…kind of like if your child is sick and you don’t seek medical help!! I am heart sick for the families who are so close and for the children who will have to wait longer for their forever families. I hope a solution can be reached quickly and is one that will prevent this from happening again!!!
April 15th, 2010 at 9:44 am
I was not in that mother’s shoes – but I really don’t think anything justifies her putting him on a plane alone to fly back to Russia. That took calculated planning. At no point during the planning of his trip did she think there might be another option?
I feel for the families who are currently in process with Russia. I hope something can be worked out for them and for their children who are waiting in orphanages.
April 15th, 2010 at 9:48 am
I feel so badly for those families waiting for their children. That is one of the worst fears a waiting AP has, the program will close. I hope they fix this mess soon.
April 15th, 2010 at 10:08 am
I think that that woman should be sent to Russia to face charges.
April 15th, 2010 at 10:16 am
It seems there may be problems involved with charging this woman, revolving around who has jurisdiction here and the ability of that jurisdiction to assemble witnesses. There is a question of where the crime took place. Tenn? DC? Federal level?
There is also problem with witnesses–mainly the son. The prosecutor needs to interview the boy and that would probably involve sending someone to Russia. Also, the boy may be needed to testify in court–would he be available? Are the Russians going to make him available? And is it in the boy’s best interest to testify?
I am believe charges should be brought against the woman, but I understand that it is a complicated case. It may just take a while for the legal authorities to figure it all out. Right now they seem to be having a hard time just figuring out the international adoption process.
April 15th, 2010 at 10:51 am
RQ,
There was a wonderful show on this topic on NPR with Diane Rheam yesterday April 14. I would suggest anyone interested in this topic download the podcast. This is a very important issue with international adoption. And aparently this isn’t the first time a child has been set back to Russia in this manner.
We adopted a 5 year old 2 years ago from China and have had an almost unrealisticly beautiful experience. Our daughter blended into the family with great ease. But I suppose that our pre-adoption counseling and training helped for any blips we welcomed as opprotunities and any concerns we were immediately on the phone with our adoption social worker. And I mean no matter how small, I kept in contact constantly and even discussed the good along with the challenging.
Adoptive parents of older children have to be prepared in their hearts and minds that when the child comes home it is going to be work. There is no escaping the work. And it will change everything, from when you wash the dishes to how you tie your shoes ( I wasn’t allowed to dress myself, my new daughter had helped her roommates in the orphanage and insisted on helping me, it was strange having a 5 year old button my clothes BUT IT WAS AN OPPORTUNITY and I used it for the good).
My hope is that things are addressed on both sides, in Russia and the US, so that the children and families can live a happy and functioning life.
April 15th, 2010 at 11:43 am
Whoa there! I’m not so quick to judge her.
The child was 6 years old at the time of adoption, and apparently he was placed into the orphanage by his alcoholic birth mother, and who knows HOW he was raised by her, and then, let’s face it, the Russian orphanages are not so wonderful a place to be, let alone, for a child who is placed there, already with baggage from his past.
Then at 7 he was adopted by the aparent.
RQ, IF the agency is so reputable as you state, then WHY did this union slip thru their hands? She was a SINGLE adult trying to parent a 6-7 year old, who, by the sheer point that he was already 6 years old with a lot of past. Any reputable agency would screen their aparents THOROUGHLY and consider strongly before would suggest a single adult raise a 6 year old with obvious special psychological needs. One would not need to visit the child to figure that out…..simply look at his past history with abandonment and add to that possible horrific abuse and neglect which started with an alcoholic birth mother and could have easily continued with an over crowded and substandard orphanage.
Nope. I won’t judge her without taking down every other piece of the puzzle first.
April 15th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
According to this article, (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100415/ap_on_re_us/us_russia_adoptions), there has been no suspension of Russian adoptions.
April 15th, 2010 at 12:26 pm
I really hope adoptions have not been suspended or, if they have, that they reopen quickly. I cannot even imagine what the families wading through the russian process must be feeling right now. My heart goes out to both them and the russian children who will be affected by this mess.
susan
April 15th, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Does anyone get the Rainbow Kids E-mail newsletter? There was a fabulous letter from Martha Osborne – of Rainbow Kids – in it. I am going to paste it here because I think she really “gets it” and I love her suggestion at the end.
Sad, sad news over the last week. There has been great outrage, anger, blame and finger pointing over the disrupted adoption of a 7-year-old Russian child and his abrupt return to Russia over this last week. Today it has been announced that Russia will suspend adoptions to the USA. During this time, I have wondered, “where is the outrage for the thousands of children who are housed in hopeless institutions with minimal care and daily abuse from the other children?”
The exact conditions that may have traumatized this young child and greatly contributed to this situation, are barely mentioned. No one absolves the mother. She had options and chose to do something outrageous and selfish. But her actions are only one part of this. The unspoken rule is that those of us who work to find homes for these children must never, never criticize the governments that allow these wretched institutions to continue. Adoptive parents must be grateful…and silent, to insure that international adoption continues, and a few lucky children find peace in a family of their own. Volunteers must quietly work to make changes in the orphanages, for fear of offending those in power. Yes, this story makes me very upset, and sad for all of the children who will now continue to suffer. And for the families who have waited, longingly, to give their love to these children.
And now we wait, with our only hope once again in the hands of government policy makers. I suggest that the meeting scheduled for the 20th take place in the largest, most rural orphanage that can be found in Russia. Let our governments meet, and come to their decision, surrounded by the children’s lives and futures that hang in the balance. –Martha Osborne