Someone sent me this Reddit link, where there is a Chinese cab driver apparently giving away cab rides for free to people who will post a picture and story on the internet for him.
I am unclear how the birthfather came about getting the 2007 picture, but it kind of appears that the orphanage gave it to him but wouldn’t give him the birthfamily’s contact information. The story is that the girl was given up for adoption in 1995 soon after she was born – but considering there wasn’t a mechanism for doing that in 1995, my guess is we should read it that she was abandoned. Unless it was a private adoption, where he handed her to the Chinese couple who “adopted” her by claiming her as theirs, and then when he found out they died, he went searching to see what happened to her. Either way, he’s apparently looking for her now.
He knows she was adopted in China, that the original a-family died, and then she was adopted to the US. He has what appears to be a picture of her with her American family, taken in 2007. Once again, there is a picture of a child posted on the internet when the child has not given consent. I’m assuming at this point that the orphanage gave him the photo, I can’t imagine how else he would have it.
It’s enough to make me want to stop sending pictures to my girls’ orphanages. I’m thinking I’ll send a letter every year, make it clear that if a family contacts them claiming they are the birthfamily then we want the SWI to get the family’s information and give it to us, so we can contact them on our own terms. But I don’t think I will send anymore pictures. Which is a shame, but if the orphanages are going to give the pictures to a birthfamily who would then post the pictures to try to find them…
Glittergirl would be mortified. It would be a terrible first impressions kind of thing, she would have anger towards her birthfamily before she met them. They would have two strikes against them – the didn’t keep her, and they put her picture on the internet and embarrassed her. Not a good start.
I’ve said before that we need some sort of public clearinghouse, and I’ve been thinking about the best way to do it. Something that could easily be found within China, so if an a-family posted their child’s finding information in Chinese, and a couple in China searched for that information, it would come up on a search. Also, the site itself should be easily found in China, so that a couple in China could find it and then post whatever information they had. If we do it right then when someone from China posts something, we’ll have enough people watching it that their info will be likely to reach someone in the community who know the a-family.
For instance, I would recognize finding location and clothes warn, but no one else would. But there are others in the local community who would recognize the year and SWI and probably send me an email saying “Hey, there is a birthfamily looking for a child who ended up in GG’s SWI, and the age is about right – you should go take a look”.
I just haven’t found the right software to pull it off. If all else fails I could do it with forum software, but I’d really rather find something that lists a sentence or two of detail in a list, and then you open it up to read more details. That way people can look down a list without having to open every discussion. Something that would ask questions – date abandoned, city, province, clothes they were wearing, age at abandonment. The list could be easily sorted by those things, and they would show up in almost spreadsheet form. If you found a match you’d click the listing for more details, and for contact info.
I will need a native Chinese speaker to help me write the Chinese side. I’m thinking all instructions will be in both Chinese and English – a line in the center with Chinese on one side and English on the other, both saying the same thing.
Back to the original point, there is a picture and an email address for the birth-father at the link I pointed to, so if anyone does know this girl then they should contact the family to let the parents know. I wish the father had just said, “She was adopted in this year and was this old when adopted, and was in such and such orphanage”. I think she could have been found with just that information, instead of posting a picture of her with what appears to be her American family on the internet.