Friday the Thirteenth
Is everyone staying warm? The US weather map is pretty active right now, with only a handful of states escaping the winter weather.
I don’t see any rumors this morning.
What shall we talk about today? How about responsibilities for a six (almost seven) year old? What do you expect your six year old to be able to do? Fold and hang their own clothes? Keep up with their art supplies? Do you allow unlimited use of scissors and markers or do you closely supervise those things? Do they have to help set the table? Do they have to help any with kitchen clean up after meals?
What do you take away for consequences? What do you give out for rewards?
January 13th, 2012 at 8:50 am
Art supplies are always allowed, out and available.
We have the opposite problem here. Our daughter cleans obsessively. She even cleans her sisters room! Its a problem…..so I am happy when she leaves something out. I know that doesn’t help very much, but she is way overboard on cleanliness.
January 13th, 2012 at 9:00 am
We have the OCD cleaning thing with TT, too. But, it doesn’t carry over into her clothes, for some reason. And yes, TT keeps GG’s room clean as well as her own. Last year GG got upset with TT because she couldn’t find something, so I said TT couldn’t clean GG’s room anymore for a while. GG quickly realized how much of a pain it was to have to clean her own room, and when I relented (after about a month), GG has never complained again. I try to suggest that GG do something nice in return for TT, and TT is beginning to learn to use the cleaning thing as barter material when she wants something from GG.
We’ve had to restrict markers and paints to “ask me”, so I can supervise their use, but everything else is available.
January 13th, 2012 at 9:07 am
We don’t ask very much of her. Sometimes, she surprises us by cleaning her room herself. Otherwise, her clothes are on the bed, on the floor or on another peace of furniture. This year, I will make her hang her clothes herself as she is tall enough now (7 years old).
Art work is always available in an organizer that insn’t always well organized once she’s finished with her art work. I don’t need to supervise, she takes whatever is in there.
Another thing that I need to make her do (without telling her everytime it happens) is to clean after herself. Paper, glue, markers, etc. are lying on the floor when she’s finished.
January 13th, 2012 at 10:17 am
It was 70 degrees at one point yesterday in these parts. We need some rain and snow in the mountains, but it is nice to be able to wear short sleeves in January. Regardless, I miss winter. We have had no rain or snow in about 2 months. Scary.
January 13th, 2012 at 10:38 am
70 and sunny. Tomorrow it may only hit 65 for us. That’s about the most winter we get, but that is well past cold enough to keep us from surfing. haha.
My 6 and newly 8 year olds make their beds (sort of), put dishes in sink, help load the dishwasher, bring out the trash, bring trash cans in, and clean the family and kitchen hardcore on Sunday mornings with daddy before church while mommy sleeps in. That’s about it…thinking there should be more but not sure…
January 13th, 2012 at 11:22 am
I think every six-year-old is a bit different, and what works for one does not necessarily work for another. When my middle daughter was six, she was very responsible. I could give her a number of age-appropriate chores (like putting the clean silverware away from the dishwasher, putting away her laundry, keeping her room tidy, feeding the cats, etc.) and she would do these things without being asked. My youngest daughter was given some of the same tasks at that age, but some were beyond her. She was great about feeding the kitties, and did a wonderful job keeping her room neat, but couldn’t manage to put the silverware away properly (mixed up fork and spoon sizes, etc.). On the other hand, she LOVED dusting, so I gave her that task instead. I think that giving them some jobs that they find enjoyable is important in getting them to help with housework and other tasks in general.
Now, about scissors…..my middle daughter is now 16, and still has issues with sharp instruments, LOL! She needed supervision with scissors for a long time. My youngest came from China when she was four years old, and had the most amazing fine motor skills I’ve ever seen in a child of that age. She could make some intricate paper cut designs that were artistic and just beautiful. I never really supervised her with scissors at all. As I said, they’re all different!
In case anyone is wondering why I don’t mention my experiences with my oldest daughter – she was ten years old when she arrived from China, so I don’t know which category she was in at age six.
January 13th, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Each child is different. I agree. We ask our newly 6yo to put away laundry (her own) in her drawers. No hanging of clothes. We ask her to put away toys in common areas. She must carry her dishes to the sink to clear the table. Sometimes she helps set the table and sweep the floor. We are having problems with her remembering where she put things.
Art supplies are out(except for paint). Sharp objects require close supervision. Impulse control is still an issue. Direct parental commands cause reactivity and anger sometimes. We deal with it in a silly way or with physical activity and distraction. Examples are “get ready for school” Nope. Don’t want to. So, Mom cranks up Lady Gaga and starts dancing which results in both daughters wanting to dance and then we are laughing and ready to get dressed. My older daughter was very mature and helpful at age 6. Each seems very different.
January 13th, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Two days of rain mixed with almost 10 inches of snow and still going strong. We had no buses yesterday but today when to roads are worse, buses. Crazy!
My 11 year old is neat and tidy in his room with things in their proper place. But when it comes to the basement, no concept that he needs to put games and movies away. I might go into a mode of clean or no more basement. Just need to get the energy to fight with him over it.lol
January 13th, 2012 at 2:35 pm
well, its in the 70s and sunny here in my little area of socal so no complaining from me. Its supposed to get down to a chilly 61 with possibility of rain though on sunday so its not all smooth sailing :-)
my dd just turned 4 but she’s always allowed to access her art supplies: scissors, markers, crayons, glue stick, etc. but she has to do it up at the kitchen table. So far, not a problem. Its her favorite thing to do so they pretty much always stay out. Other things like beads and specific craft sets she has to ask for and then I usually supervise a bit.
In our house everyone helps during meal clean up. G picks up the cat food dishes, brings her things to the sink for washing and puts away the few things that are in low places. She also runs to get trash cans from bathrooms etc when its time to do that. She “helps” fold laundry but is actually quite helpful in carrying her things to her room which she puts on her bed and I put away in drawers and closet later. By 6 I think putting away clothes should be a given although I don’t think her responsibilities will be much greater than she’s doing now. Probably she will just be more proficient at it.
susan
January 13th, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Cleaning and tidying up is now automatic in our house, we do not need to ask.
What has always been expected of them is to put away anything that you get out, clean up your room, make your bed, put away sockies and undies, hang up clothes ironed by me. Then we added responsiblities as they got older.
We started off pretty young. My kids are all older now, and they just do it. They learned that the sooner we all help each other out as a family the more leisure time we will have for the family as a group and solo time.
In reality it really isn’t that much work and takes no time at all to just do it.
January 13th, 2012 at 5:28 pm
LOL! It’s 2 degrees here right now.
My daughter just turned 7 in October. I agree, everyone child and every household is different. I am a semi single mom (long story) so my girls likely have more roles than others not in our situation. My now 7yo has reponsibilities to collect all small refuse cans in the house into the main one, place new bags back into the cans, gather all laundry and sort it, assist with loading and emptying machines, fold laundry and put in appropriate locations but I do not allow her to use the detergents yet and actual putting clothes away is still an adult role or all clothings would be stuffed in wads into the drawers!She helps empty the dishwasher but knows any knives are to be untouched for an adult to put away (I keep those locked up still) She has to take her own dishes to the kitchen sink after meal, clean/wipe down the table at meal times and assist in setting the items onto table at meal. She is in complete control/responsibility for her bathroom maintenance. I clean the toilet and the shower but cleaning the countertop , sink and any floor mess she makes is hers to clean. She’s to make her own bed, pick up the toys, selects her own clothes, dresses herself, does her own hair etc and is responsible for having her things in order for school each day. All knives and scissors here are under lock and key due to a few incidents. She is allowed to use them whenever but must ask permission first and I prefer to be in the room. In the last month, her duties have been expanded to help bring groceries and other bags into the house when back from shopping and also asisst in helping her little sister remove her shoes/coat once inside. This year she will be shown how to use the vaccuum and how to dust properly though it will not become part of her chore list until for another year at least.
January 13th, 2012 at 6:13 pm
Its usually minus 20 here with a ton of snow..but no snow for us..though I hear its coming. The temperature is dropping rapidly and can feel it in the air. So I think it will be below zero soon (in celsius). Has been +5 or 10 here for a while which is unheard of here…so really odd. In previous years we have been colder than Siberia.
As for chores. I agree it depends on the child and their maturity level. My youngest just turned five today and she can fold her laundry (and put some away), pick up her toys, and take her plate to the sink. She also makes her bed every day on her own and does a great job. She gets help from me in cleaning her room.
DD#2 is 9 and helps look after our cats (feeds them, cleanes up after them), makes her bed and puts away her own laundry after folding. She helps with the garbage as well and of course makes her bed. She gets help with her room a little from me, but more and more I am getting her to do it herself.
DD#1 did about the same at both ages.
January 13th, 2012 at 9:19 pm
Oh, I want to play and looking forward to ideas. I will be the proud owner of 6 year old on Monday. And its cold here.
Right now she responsible for setting the table, helping clear and cleaning up her “stuff”. She has not had scissor or glue restrictions since about 4. She had her horror stories prior and is very responsible with great fine motor skills.
Right now she is really into to helping, but oddly hates her chores. So setting the table I get push back. Yet helping fold laundry she is there.
We really are about pitching in here. And I do need she needs more official responsiblities but I am just not sure how much at this point. I know there is tons she can do.
She loves her media. So consequences end up tied to that.
I bought poker chips today, with a thought of using them for TV time/media time. Set color for 30 mins, another for 60 mins. And bonus chips that she can earn.
This is all still a work in progress so I am open to ideas.
January 14th, 2012 at 11:42 pm
70′s and 80′s here all week. Starting to wonder if we will see winter this year in So Cal.
January 15th, 2012 at 8:41 pm
My dd will be seven at the end of the month. I will make this short since she just screamed that she was mad in Chinese. I am glad those Chinese lessons are paying off… Anyway, she puts her clothes away, helps clean her room. and helps tidy after a playdate. She has full access to a TON of art supplies…except paint and the glue gun. She has several pairs of sissiors at her disposal. She will either clean up her own mess after she is done or I will help if it is a HUGE mess. I slowly got her used to cleaning up after herself. She does not smile while she cleans up but will do it if I ask. She does not have to help clean after meals. She just has to bring her plate to the sink. Honestly, dirty dishes would probably push her over the sensory cliff. I tried to make feeding the dogs one of her jobs. The smell of the food was just too much for her. My three year old son loves to do it though. Every kid is different in what you can expect from them. My son…he may not have access to sissors until he is 21. Okay, I am off to play “jewelry store.” Oh, good grief now the three year old has his backpack and coat on and is telling me he is going on the school bus. It is Sunday night. I love that little guy…
January 16th, 2012 at 12:29 am
We do leave our 7-year-old unsupervised with scissors because she, like some other commenters’ kids, has amazing fine motor skills. However, she still occasionally cuts her doll’s clothes (she refashioned Mulan’s dress and says she likes it better this way), her dolls’ hair, and her own hair when she gets frustrated with it. So I suppose we SHOULD supervise her. However, she also likes to create exquisite art projects (her art teacher says she has incredible talent and wants us to encourage her), and she likes privacy when she’s creating.
As for chores, we are really struggling with her cleaning up her room. No matter how many times we tell her to put something away before she gets something else out, she just can’t help getting out 30 things at once, and then she is too overwhelmed to put anything away. My 3-year-old son does exactly the same thing. However, the 7-year-old loves hand-washing dishes and mopping floors. They are just occasional activities for her, because most of the time I am doing those things after she’s in bed.
January 16th, 2012 at 4:04 pm
My DD just turned 3 and she loves helping me with my chores. Right now she’s pissed at me because I won’t let her help take out /bring in the garbage cans on garbage day because it’s too cold at night. :) A few nights ago she asked me if she could set the table, a term I’ve never used, so not sure where she picked it up but she’s been doing it ever since. Loves to help me fold laundry, unload the dishwasher, feed the cats. Only thing she doesn’t like doing is cleaning up her toys. :)