Where does the money go?

[Maria P]

Please give me strength!  I am about to turn in the loan documents to borrow $18K to finish financing this adoption.  I have had the documents on my desk for the past two hours and they have to make it up the street within the next two hours.  I can't go.  Help.  This is a ton of money.  I had money set aside when we started but it has been eaten away by adoption expenss already. 

Unexpected new expenses include:  new homestudy (we moved and changed to SN); increased travel expense since we are not going in a group; new fingerprints; and foremost, I didn't calcualte enough to begin with. 

Maybe if I sit here for a few more minutes, a big bag of money wil fall from the sky and land on my desk.  Tick....Tick.....Tick...  No money.  Oh well, here goes.  See you all when I get back from Human Resources

[dunedin]

Take a deep breath and remember that the tax credit will help with some of it.

[AnhuiMama]

Yep, I'm in the same boat and I just keep muttering tax credit, tax credit. 

[JenT04]

Maria, I felt the same way you did before I took out a home equity line of credit for my first adoption.... it is a LOT of money, and scary.  But I jumped in and hoped that the tax credit and some employer adoption assistance would help eventually...  the expenses (Russia) ended up being way more than we planned on but our son---priceless.  We did manage to pay things off, then transferred a balance to a 0 interest credit card, and I will be finished paying that off soon.  And here we are doing it again, from China this time.   Take a deep breath, and know that you will have lots of time to save money and pay things down during the wait.  Good luck, I think most of us know this feeling.
Jenny

[sgreen2]

Maria,

I have NO advice.  Just wanted to say--We understand. We financed the adoption of our second child, and he is almost two years old and we are so deep in debt, still, that we are really worried about going ahead with number 3.  But, I hate the fact that finances have to dictate how many children we can have, so we are moving forward, and thanks to Dave Ramsey (if you don't know who he is google him and take a look at his stuff) we are going to find a way to get out of debt AND pay for this next adoption without going into debt!  We can more then afford to feed, clothe, and care for three children, but to pay for the 20,000 to actually get them home is another story!  We had a garage sale to come up with the 685 for the INS fees, and now we are working on making a few special items to sell to raise money for our first agency fee--Due already but our agency is WONDERFUL and says get it to them when we can!!! And, fortunately we have a LONG wait to come up with the rest of the money.  We are open to SN though, so if that comes along, we will be in your shoes as well, and yes we will borrow the money from somewhere to bring our baby home! Anyway, just wanted to offer some support.  Good Luck.  It WILL be worth it when your baby is home, and you will gladly pay that bill every month!

 

[waiting4olivia4]

All I have to say is thank you for starting this!! My husband and I have been debating what needs to be done. We are not necessarily in debt, but all the money that we had saved has been spend already on the adoption and we still have 10k left. We have decided to borrow from his retirement b/c we can pay that back and it's all our money. It's still a note every month and that is exactly what we are trying to get rid of ...monthly notes, but we know that this is what we were meant to do and you cannot put a price tag on a child, bio or adopted. Yes, you continue to pay for them after they get here too, but there is no amount of money I wouldn't pay to have my children. They are my life and I don't even want to think of what it would be like without them here. They are truly a blessing and what joy they bring to us. The money does sometimes take the joy from what we are doing away and can cause anxiety and sometimes second thoughts, all that is normal, but just let it bother you for a  second and then forget about it. I just look at it as being thankful that I can go and get a loan or get the money somehow and bring our child home from a situation that is not in their best interest and love them forever!!! Some people can't do that so I feel honored to be able to do that. You are not alone MariaP, we are here, some in the same situation, some not but all here to support you and let you know that it'll be okay. As my friend says, "It's just money!!!" 

[KathyP]

One of the "downsides" of SN adoption, I guess -- you find your child faster, but you have less time to come up with the money!

Not making any comparisons to SN vs. NSN, I just noticed that Maria P had a LID of 12/06 and will be travelling soon. Just consider the long term benefits, and keep that tax credit in sight! Short term financial hardship, long term family happiness!
 

[Maria P]

One of the "downsides" of SN adoption, I guess -- you find your child faster, but you have less time to come up with the money!

Not making any comparisons to SN vs. NSN, I just noticed that Maria P had a LID of 12/06 and will be travelling soon. Just consider the long term benefits, and keep that tax credit in sight! Short term financial hardship, long term family happiness!
 

Kathy, I do thank my lucky stars every day that I found Niki.  I always feel a little guilty when I read about the NSN wait.  I hope that I am not taking anyone else's place in line.  Your comment does add perspective to my woes.   

[KathyP]

From my perspective, you were always in line ahead of me. I'm just happy you found your child! 

[waitingforlibby]

Short term financial hardship, long term family happiness!

I think I found a new motto for when I'm sulking over money issues (which is a lot).  Thanks, Kathy P! 

[KathyP]

Ooh -- how do I type one of those copyright symbols? 

[katienmaggiesmom]

We also used our home equity line of credit for our first adoption, and that was a big help. The tax refund we socked away into a savings cushion...which disappeared when I went freelance. Thankfully, though, the freelance money really started rolling in right around when we heard about the rule changes (we don't qualify anymore), so we were able to pay the initial expenses in cash, and will start saving this fall for the remaining fees (after we had to buy a second car so Mommy could transport Katie to preschool this fall). Fortunately, most of our expenses come at the tail end, and given the monumental wait ahead of us (we're LID 4/11/07) we have plenty of time to sock away the dough.

Katie's mom
LID 4/11/07 for Maggie

[Maria P]

is there anyone who had a realstic estimate of total expenses when they first started.  I got information from about 30 agencies when I was choosing.  Some were rather cheap but you had to do a lot of stuff on your own.  The one I chose was a little  more expensive but they do a lot and keep track of everything for me.  But, they still laid things out in such a way that I totally understimated the expenses.  I am one of those people who lay things out on  a spreadsheet and I was still way off.

Who had the right number or close to it when the started?

[Nji13]

is there anyone who had a realstic estimate of total expenses when they first started.  I got information from about 30 agencies when I was choosing.  Some were rather cheap but you had to do a lot of stuff on your own.  The one I chose was a little  more expensive but they do a lot and keep track of everything for me.  But, they still laid things out in such a way that I totally understimated the expenses.  I am one of those people who lay things out on  a spreadsheet and I was still way off.

Who had the right number or close to it when the started?

Our adoption ran about $2000 over the itemized estimate (emphasis on that word estimate, because that is what it actually is) from our agency.  It was mostly little bits here and there, and we did throw some money at some of the early paperchase things to make them happen faster to our liking.  The rest was variance in travel expenses.   The agency specific expenses, and their in country fee estimates were very close, and they did a great job of being all inclusive in their fees, particularly with respect to SW services and fees (they only let you use SWs under contract to them, which is actually a real plus IMO for a number of reasons). 

Of course this was before the long wait times started triggering renewals of CIS documents, homestudy updates, etc, etc.  That puts a whole new dimension into fee estimates.  Plus with longer wait times, the risk of fees for adoption related matters in China going up increases.  Then we have this recurring theme of it taking longer then 2 weeks in China in the future as provinces make changes to their process.    With all of this, I think agencies need to be more savvy about estimates that include upside expenses for things like this coming to pass during the wait.

[dunedin]

I have NO advice.  Just wanted to say--We understand. We financed the adoption of our second child, and he is almost two years old and we are so deep in debt, still, that we are really worried about going ahead with number 3.

Wow, we are living parallel lives, honey!!!! We have 1 bio, then adopted DD#2 and I took a year off to stay home...we are WAY in the hole....we planned on going the bio route for #3, but now it's something we are having to seriously reconsider. I want private school for the girls. #3 may just not be an option for us. I hate that.