Speech vs Attachment
We go to professionals to get their help, but it’s important to not just do as they say.
For example, a speech therapist is there to help with speech, and they will tell you what to do that will help your child be able to talk and chew and swallow. But you have to think about what they tell you before you implement it. It’s your job to look out for the whole child while helping with specific things.
Which means I had a discussion with TwinkleToes’ Speech Therapist about attachment.
Why? Because the advice was to have TwinkleToes sit up in a chair and hold her own bottle. She didn’t want her laying down taking her bottle.
And I understand where she is coming from as far as the muscles of the mouth and the way TT swallows.
And now the Speech Therapist understands a little bit about why this is bad advice for a child who spent two years without a mommy to hold her bottle for her, and why she needs as much of that as I can give her.
So, she’s okay with me holding her in my arms and giving her a bottle. Kind of.
I can tell a huge difference in the way TwinkleToes holds her mouth since we’ve been seeing the Speech Therapist. When she smiles you can see teeth now. We are doing a lot of things to help train the muscles of her mouth and throat, I think we’re fine leaving bottle time as is.
Attachment activities easily trump Speech Therapy activities in my book.
June 22nd, 2007 at 3:55 pm
What a great point! My first daughter was born with a rare blood disorder and we have spent quite a bit of time with developmental experts. When she was very young we actually consulted with a speech pathologist because of severe reflux issues and the way she was swallowing. There were many suggestions made, but none of them dealing with the emotional aspects of eating. I felt like the big picture was being ignored. I did a bunch of research on my own and went back and told these experts some of my thoughts on the emotional side of eating/swallowing and how I was going to incorporate that into our daughter’s treatment. And now, when I look back, I’m really glad I did…
Not only did you look out for your daughter, but you also educated someone about the issues of attachment and adoption. I am actually really looking forward to bottle feeding my second daughter when we adopt her.
TwinkleToes is lucky to have you as her Mommy.
June 22nd, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Hey RQ. I absolutely agree with you. I have a masters degree in social work, and sometimes even I cannot believe the advice that some of my fellow social workers give to people who have adopted (myself included).
Not all of us fit into one mold. As I am sure that you know children who are adopted from an orphanage often play catch up in many areas of development/attachment. Professionals who are there to help us out (i.e. speech therapists, doctors, counselors, or specialists of some kind) are often ignorant.
We, as the adoptive parents, have more expertize than the so called “professionals” and are often teaching THEM about the specialized areas of adoption and what our children need or do not need.
So I totally agree with you that you know what your child NEEDS. The fact that you can balance that with confidence against the advice of your speech therapist makes you, in my book, an excellent mother.
~NEM
June 22nd, 2007 at 9:01 pm
Wow…what a great encouragement for someone who will be a first time parent . Due to the fact this is our first child, DH and I will be learning as we go. Even though we will most likely need to consult “experts” on various medical, social and developmental issues…your point that we should trust our instincts and our education to do what we feel is in the best interest of our child was what we needed to hear. It can be overwhelming to think that every expert has an opinion about what is a priority (based on their specialty) but that we are empowered to develop our own hierarchy of priorities in develpement.
June 22nd, 2007 at 9:02 pm
Oops..I should have checked my typing…I know how to spell “development”!