Listening to your child play with dolls
As I listen to GlitterGirl play with her Barbie House I learn a lot about how GlitterGirl views us. (Side note: Yesterday there was an AA mom, a blonde surfer dude dad, Dora played the part of the daughter, and a My Little Pony was the dog - you’ll note there was no sister.)
For instance, when Dora doesn’t remember to use the bathroom before leaving and needs to go after they are in the car, the dad gives a very deep sigh before looking for a place for her to go.
Some parts of her playing house make me feel good - the hugs and kisses and supportive talk bring smiles to my face.
Some parts make me cringe. Do I really sound like that when I’m frustrated? Yeah, I probably do. I think the solution is to stop things before I get frustrated. Trying to not sound frustrated when I am in fact frustrated probably isn’t going to work out as well as I’d like for it to.
So, my goal is to 1) try to redirect a situation before I reach the point of frustration and 2) if I do become frustrated to try to hear myself being frustrated so I can try to take a step back and find a Plan B somewhere.
August 9th, 2007 at 11:46 am
Very good post RQ!! I too cringe sometimes when I see my kids mimic our family life. Most of the time it’s all good, but sometimes I’ll hear a tone of voice from them or hear them talk to each other and I know that they’ve picked it up from me or dh. And it just reminds me to step back like you said. Having kids can be very eye opening. :)
JenT.
August 9th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
That is the hardest part. I am really trying to watch myself and basically “put on a good show” for lack of a better word. I’m also singlehandedly trying not to nag my husband or raise my voice. I’m one of those speak first, think later types too, so it is tough. Problem was is that I yelled about something - or I guess yelled at my husband would be a better way to put it - and what do you know, Sofie started yelling as well. I felt like a heel. So I am doing my best to only say things one time and then drop it rather than constantly repeat myself and nag until I become angry. Wish me luck. Yesterday I stopped myself about 9 times. Yikes.
August 9th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
I love watching my daughter play with her doll. She must always be in sight. She holds her with the doll’s face in her neck, and is always giving her lots and lots of kisses. I do not look forward to the first time I see her imitating a less admirable situation. Though I do promise you that I’ve never dragged her around the room by her foot. ;o)
August 9th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Hi, all. I finally realized that I had to register for this site. I thought I had forgotten my login or something. Yikes.
Ok, great post. I’m going pipe in as a professional. I’m a speech language pathologist. When you do find that you are frustrated and you have every right to be so at the time, talk about it. I taught language delayed preschoolers last year and it was amazing how the kids who could verbally express their frustration could pull themselves back and regroup so much faster than the kids who had difficulty expressing their anger/frustration/sadness (enter negative emotion here).
It was very obvious to me that the kids who could do this had heard their parents use this language with them.
Just my two cents.
SIS
aka Hattie’s mom
August 10th, 2007 at 8:03 am
The one that really broke my heart, was when she was playing with her baby, stopped and pretended to talk on the phone for a minute and then turned to her baby and said, “I’m sorry, sweetheart, I have to go to the hospital now…..no, sorry, you can’t come with me.” I usually love my job, but not so much, knowing that it feels like that to her.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:10 am
sis - great point. But after trying it, I’m not sure it will work with GG. Yesterday I told GG that I felt very frustrated that I had just asked her not to do something and she did it anyway. I told her I do not like to feel frustrated, and that I was on the verge of being angry because of my frustration.
And then I asked her why she had done what she’d just been asked to not do, and she burst into tears.
I’m not sure if that’s good or bad at this point. If she had spent the rest of the day doing as she was told I would say it is good. But, she did not. I think I gave her power by telling her she could frustrate me.