Potty Training update
TwinkleToes has decided she likes to sit on the potty and read books, but she does not like to make any actual deposits into the potty anymore.
I don’t know if this is a control issue on her part, or something else. If I was sure it was a control issue I’d take up all of the potties and put them away and not mention the potty at all until I thought she was ready to actually use the potty. But, I’m not convinced that this is a control issue at this point. She asks to sit on the potty right after she has a BM in her diaper. And she sits there and looks at a book for three or four minutes and then says (signs) she is done and wants a diaper back on. She hasn’t actually put anything into the potty in weeks.
Right after a big meal last week I asked her if she wanted to sit on the potty. She said she did not. And then about five minutes later her diaper needed changing. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked, maybe I should have just stripped her down and put her on the potty with a book. I knew it had been a while and it was time and that the food was likely to push it on out. But, I asked, and once she said no, I wasn’t going to put her on it anyway.
Also, when she does a BM she does it away from us. She’ll move to the other end of the den and duck down below a table, or stand behind the art easel. She knows she is going to do it, and chooses to do it in her diaper and not on the potty. For a little while she was telling us so we could help her get onto the potty.
When she’s on the potty I’ve tried sitting on the floor beside her, and I’ve tried going to the other side of the room and giving her some space. Doesn’t seem to matter to her either way.
I’ll probably give her another week or two and see if anything changes. If it does not then I need to do something to force a change, and at this point I think putting all of the little potties away for a little while is probably the best option. It is becoming clear that what we are doing right now is not working, so, time to come up with a Plan B. But, if I put them away then at what point do I bring them back out? I don’t think just waiting until she asks for it is the right answer, since she asks to sit on the potty all of the time now and does nothing in it. If we give her a book she’ll sit there a while, if we don’t give her a book then she only wants to stay for about 5 seconds and then she’s ready to get up.
If I could be home with her for a week I’d try the “naked and $75″ thing, as I tend to think that might work. But, I don’t think that can work just over the course of a weekend, especially when we are gone for part of the days on weekend days.
I’m not adamant that she be potty trained right away, it’s just that she was trying and now she seems to not want to try anymore and I’d like to figure out what is going on. If it’s truly a control issue then, fine, we’ll just completely drop it and take away her ability to control it at all. But, if it’s not a control issue then I’d like to figure out what it is.
October 22nd, 2007 at 7:04 pm
When my son was in the potty training era, he had no trouble with the pee part of it. He and Papa had loads of fun exchanging streams into the pot.
However, BMs were a totally different matter. He did not seem to get the concept of sitting and depositing. Instead, he would ask for a diaper. I would put it on him and then he would head for the bathroom (at least he knew which room to use) where he would face the corner, stretch out his arms to hold himself up again the walls and then do his business.
He was a few months past three when, out of shear frustration, I asked the pediatrician for some help. She had a “big boy” talk with him about how Little Foot (his current favorite character) used the potty for poo. Since then, he never asked for another diaper…..now he is asking for me to put unlimited text messaging on our cell phones.
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:35 am
DD trained #1 SEVERAL months before #2. She was actually out of diapers for over 6 months but would ask for a pull-up when she needed to poop. If I asked her to go on the potty instead, she would sit on it for a few minutes without doing anything and then would hold her poop for upwards of 8 hours. I didn’t push the issue because I didn’t want it to turn into a power struggle and I didn’t want to traumatize her. Finally, when she hit three and a half, I found her hot button. Her best friend had some My Little Ponies which she loved. We were in Target one day when I had an idea. I took her over to the toy section and told her that after she went poopie on the potty, she could have a My Little Pony. I let her take a pony off the shelf and hold it for almost 10 minutes then told her it needed to go back on the shelf until after she went poopie on the potty. Wouldn’t you know she immediately told me she had to go poopie and that she wanted to go on the potty!?! So I took her home, she stripped off her pants and WENT! I couldn’t believe it! So we got right back in the car to go pick up the pony and celebrate. Here I was all concerned about traumatizing her and it turned out she just needed the right motivation. She earned three ponies that first week and then a habit was forms and she no longer requested pull-ups. Thank goodness!
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:38 pm
RQ,
I love your blog! What is the “naked and $75″ thing that you talked about in this post?
Thanks!
KW
October 24th, 2007 at 11:55 am
The “naked and $75″ thing says you strip them down naked and have potty chairs close by for them to use. They won’t like the feeling of pee going down their legs, so they’ll eventually start using the potty.
The $75 is for you to get your carpets cleaned when they are successfully potty trained.
October 24th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
Thanks, RQ! We have tile….so I’ll give it a try.
October 25th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
My daughter was close in age to TT when we came home and was potty trained in an institutional sort of way that I was never able to replicate, so she went back to diapers. She responded much the same way when I put first the potty out. I always felt that it wasn’t so much about control, but more about her figuring out if she was a ‘baby’ or a ‘big girl’. Almost like she knew her place in the family as the baby- Big Sister used the potty- and she had to feel secure enough to allow herself to change into a big girl too. i left the potty out and if she wanted to sit and play, fine. One morning, almost a year after being home, she woke up followed her sister into the bathroom, took off her diaper, put the potty seat up and peed. All on her own, before I was even out of bed. I gave her some panties and that was that. it was frustrating because i knew she has been trained before, so i knew she had the physiological maturity but it took her time to have the emotional maturity. good luck!