Glittergirl has a new outfit that she hasn’t been able to wear much yet because the weather hasn’t been warm enough. It’s short sleeves and a skort and it is thin material. The weather just isn’t warm enough for it yet. She did get to wear it one Sunday to a party, but that was mainly because the party was at 2:00 and it was warm enough that late in the day for it (though barely).

This morning GG came be-bopping into my room with it on, and I told her it wasn’t warm enough to wear it to school yet, to hang it back up and find something else to wear. Which she did. Without arguing or whining or even rolling her eyes. I even commented on how grown up that was.

I was out and about this morning and it worked out that I could stop by GG’s school and have lunch with her. I hadn’t told her of the possibility because I wasn’t sure the timing would work out right and I didn’t want her to be disappointed if it didn’t work out.

Imagine my surprise when I met her outside her class just before lunch to discover she had on the outfit I’d told her not to wear today. She was excited to see me, then wondered why I was looking at her the way I was, then looked down and realized what she had on, and then looked up at me with that super-guilty “uh-oh” look on her face.

I said, “You put them in your backpack and changed at school, didn’t you?”

She nodded yes.

I didn’t get mad, but I did pretty matter-of-factly tell her that she is in more trouble than she’s ever been before. I told her I didn’t know what the consequences would be, that her dad and I would talk about it this evening and then tell her. And then we had a pleasant lunch with a few of her friends and her current boyfriend. I like him, he’s a nice enough guy with good manners who makes good grades and does well in a few sports, but I really thought I had another couple of years before I ate meals with my daughter and her boyfriend.

Back to the consequences thing… Here is what I’m thinking right now. This is two issues. The first issue is that she wore something she’d been told not to wear. The second issue is that she snuck around to do it. the sneaking thing really bothers me.

The consequences for wearing the outfit is a pretty easy to come up with logical consequence – I’ll put the outfit up and she’ll never wear it again. TT will someday fit into it, so the outfit won’t be a total waste of money. GG loves this outfit, so that is going to get her attention.

I don’t think I’m being an Ogre about this. At the lunch table today everyone had on long sleeves (with the exception of the boyfriend who had on jeans and a t-shirt). I let her pick her clothes out within reason – meaning they have to be weather appropriate and they have to meet the school rules.

That takes care of the “wearing what you’d been told not to wear today” part of it. But I really want to make a very strong statement about the sneaking. I don’t want it to be clothes today and drugs tomorrow. I want her to get the point that sneaking behind our backs is a bad-bad-bad-bad thing.

I can’t come up with logical consequences for sneaking. I mean, sure, I’ll be doing random backpack searches on the way out the door in the mornings from now on, but I really want to make her understand how bad it is to sneak around behind your parents’ back to do something.

She’s been looking forward to the new Hannah Montana movie for months. It opens next Friday and we have big plans that include some of her friends and their mothers. It’s a big Girls-Night-Out thing. As of now, I’m thinking she isn’t going to see the Hannah Montana movie until it comes out on DVD.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 1st, 2009 at 2:04 pm and is filed under Daily Life, GlitterGirl. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.