I wondered the other day if TwinkleToes not actually making deposits into the potty anymore might be a control thing. I said that if I knew it was I’d take away the option for a while, but at the time I was not convinced it was.

And then she did a few things that convinced me it was all a control thing, so I put all of the potties and potty seats away and told her she wouldn’t be sitting on the potty anymore, she’d just have to go in her diaper for a while.

This morning she told me she had to do #2 and I told her to go ahead and do it in her diaper. So the little stinker (literally) somehow took her diaper off inside of her one piece footed pj’s and went in her pj’s. The diaper was still in the pj’s, just down around one ankle.

I have no idea what my next move is.

I did make today “attachment day” though. She was permanently attached to me today and was held and carried all day long. I also fed her and didn’t let her feed herself. I could see a positive difference in her this evening, so hopefully we can put the potty training stuff behind us for a while and get a fresh start later. She’s pee-peed in her diaper the rest of the day without mentioning it. She won’t have another BM until tomorrow though, so I won’t know for sure until then.

GlitterGirl has used a computer since she was very small. We started with the lapware games and moved up from there.

And now GlitterGirl loves to sit TwinkleToes on her lap and go to the Sesame Street site and let TT play with Elmo. They are so cute, sitting together at GG’s desk. And, as I’ve said before, the Eebee videos really helped show GlitterGirl how to interact with her little sister. Here is their favorite lapware game:

sesameworkshop.org/sesamestreet/games/flash.php?contentId=4203178

I like to work with TwinkleToes on the Starfire site, it helps us play around with the alphabet. She can’t handle the mouse yet, but I’m thinking she may only be a few months away from being able to at this point.

http://www.starfall.com/

GlitterGirl has also spent lots of time on the Starfall site over the years on her own. It starts out helping kids learn the alphabet and slowly moves through the stages of reading. Once kids learn to read there are sections of books to read on Greek Myths, Chinese Fables, Folk Tales, etc.

There is also a lot to do on the pbskids site, we like playing around with the music:

http://pbskids.org/music/index.html

The computer is a tool that can help us teach our kids. As with all other tools, everything in moderation.

The other day at a GG function one of the other moms said “who’s this?” and pointed to me. Twinkletoes said “mama” and the other mom said, “Do you love your mama?” And TT gave me the biggest hug EVER, she’s never held me that tightly before.

I almost started crying right there in front of everyone.

I don’t remember GlitterGirl asking “why?” this early. I was thinking GG was three when we hit that particular stage.

But, TwinkleToes is there.

Yesterday I thought maybe it was a fluke. But then this morning I said “let’s put your shoes on” and I got “why?”. I said “Because we are about to leave, and it’s cold outside, and you cannot go out without shoes on.” And then as we were headed out the door I said “hand please” and she said “why”, and I said “because I don’t want you to fall down the steps, so you need to hold my hand, please”.

I had to put a rule in place with GlitterGirl when she was younger, that she had to do it first and then ask why. I know this goes against the whole “teach them to question life” stuff out there, but it became a control thing with GlitterGirl to ask why in order to delay having to do what she was told (or to find a way to argue with me of why she should not have to do it). So, the rule became one of “yes, I will always tell you why, but I will not stop and explain it right at that moment, do it first, then ask why”.

TwinkleToes is much too young to understand that, I think. Plus, at this point she seems to genuinely be asking why, and not just trying to annoy me on purpose.

Of course, I also thought she was much too young to start asking why, too. This is not a two year old thing, is it?

TwinkleToes has decided she likes to sit on the potty and read books, but she does not like to make any actual deposits into the potty anymore.

I don’t know if this is a control issue on her part, or something else. If I was sure it was a control issue I’d take up all of the potties and put them away and not mention the potty at all until I thought she was ready to actually use the potty. But, I’m not convinced that this is a control issue at this point. She asks to sit on the potty right after she has a BM in her diaper. And she sits there and looks at a book for three or four minutes and then says (signs) she is done and wants a diaper back on. She hasn’t actually put anything into the potty in weeks.

Right after a big meal last week I asked her if she wanted to sit on the potty. She said she did not. And then about five minutes later her diaper needed changing. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked, maybe I should have just stripped her down and put her on the potty with a book. I knew it had been a while and it was time and that the food was likely to push it on out. But, I asked, and once she said no, I wasn’t going to put her on it anyway.

Also, when she does a BM she does it away from us. She’ll move to the other end of the den and duck down below a table, or stand behind the art easel. She knows she is going to do it, and chooses to do it in her diaper and not on the potty. For a little while she was telling us so we could help her get onto the potty.

When she’s on the potty I’ve tried sitting on the floor beside her, and I’ve tried going to the other side of the room and giving her some space. Doesn’t seem to matter to her either way.

I’ll probably give her another week or two and see if anything changes. If it does not then I need to do something to force a change, and at this point I think putting all of the little potties away for a little while is probably the best option. It is becoming clear that what we are doing right now is not working, so, time to come up with a Plan B. But, if I put them away then at what point do I bring them back out? I don’t think just waiting until she asks for it is the right answer, since she asks to sit on the potty all of the time now and does nothing in it. If we give her a book she’ll sit there a while, if we don’t give her a book then she only wants to stay for about 5 seconds and then she’s ready to get up.

If I could be home with her for a week I’d try the “naked and $75″ thing, as I tend to think that might work. But, I don’t think that can work just over the course of a weekend, especially when we are gone for part of the days on weekend days.

I’m not adamant that she be potty trained right away, it’s just that she was trying and now she seems to not want to try anymore and I’d like to figure out what is going on. If it’s truly a control issue then, fine, we’ll just completely drop it and take away her ability to control it at all.  But, if it’s not a control issue then I’d like to figure out what it is.

In the past I’d go through GlitterGirl’s clothes every fall and spring and box up the stuff she’d likely not be able to fit into when they came back into season, move the stuff that would probably fit when they came back into season to the back of the closet, and pull everything forward that was for the season we were headed into. I’d also go through the sock bins and throw away socks without a partner. It would take me about a half a day to do it (yes, I know, GlitterGirl has a lot of clothes).

It occurs to me that it’s probably going to take an entire weekend day to do it this fall for both girls. And it needs to be done. Desperately.

I’ll need to get down the boxes of GG’s old clothes that TT will probably be wearing this winter, wash them, and fold and hang them. I’ll also need to get rid of TT and GG’s summer clothes they probably won’t be wearing in the spring (box GG’s up and figure out what to do with TT’s since there is no need to save them anymore).

And then I’ll need to figure out what I still need to buy for them and go shopping. I’ve already bought a bunch of sweaters and long sleeved shirts and jeans. But right now everything is very unorganized and the summer and winter stuff is all together, and it’s on my nerves.

Is there a better way to do this?

There is this boy in GlitterGirls’ class who is very socially backwards. Very. Socially. Backwards. I really feel sorry for him, he tries, but it’s like he has no filter that tells him what is socially acceptable and what is not. His mom is a bit of a socialite, so it’s not that he isn’t being taught it at home, he just doesn’t get it.

Anyway, apparently some of the kids at school told him he couldn’t sit with them at lunch, and GlitterGirl told them to stop being mean, that he could sit down if he wanted, and she not only showed him where at the table he should sit, she kept bringing him into the conversation and telling the other kids to knock if off when they made fun of him for something.

He told his mom, and his mom told me at a school function when she saw me and wanted to let me know that I should be proud of my daughter.

I told GlitterGirl how proud I was of her for sticking up for him and for not following the other kids’ lead and being mean to him like they were. And she got all mad at her friends all over again when she told me about it, and about how wrong they were to make fun of him. She said he’s nice and he never hurts anyone and she just couldn’t watch them be mean to him.

I’m very proud of her.

GlitterGirl has taught TwinkleToes to be a puppy dog. TwinkleToes follows her around on all fours, barking. TwinkleToes sits, lays down, rolls over, and begs on command. And often times not on command.

I started to put a stop to it because it bothered me. But then I realized it didn’t bother them and they were having fun with it, so I kept my mouth shut.

But now GlitterGirl is tired of the game, and TwinkleToes is not. GlitterGirl says “No, I don’t want puppy dog, I want TwinkleToes, here, let’s do the Alphabet.” And Twinkletoes barks at her very cute from all fours.

I love watching them play together.

I came home late last night. It was a cool fall night, dark outside, no one in the car but me. I can’t remember when this last happened.

I rolled the window down and played 80’s music. It was nice.

I don’t often regret my move from a stick shift to an automatic transmission, but last night I did. My car does allow you to shift from 1st to 5th, but there is no clutch and it’s just not the same.

But, missing clutch or not, it felt really good. All I needed was the driving song from Miami Vice to make it perfect. But the 80’s songs that played worked well enough to transport me back in time.

I love my life now. That’s not really what this was about. More along the lines of realizing that the all-grown-up me is the exact same person as that 20-something-clueless me was. Only, with better judgment. I think. And more experience.

I don’t really have anywhere to go with this. I’m sure one day I’ll have my grandkids in the back seat and it will bring back the “good old days” of having my kids in the back seat. I know that right now I’m the luckiest mom in the world and I love every minute of it. But driving home last night was still very nice.

TwinkleToes’ speech is getting better. Not up to an age appropriate skill level yet, but she is getting there. When she started using her tongue she stopped using her lips, which has complicated things. One step forward, one step back. And for many of the sounds she can make, she can’t blend them together into words. But she is trying.

But, something phenomenal has happened. She can now count to ten in English and Mandarin. I taught her the English version, she must have picked up the Mandarin version in China. Her pronunciation isn’t great, but her tones are perfect. And her pronunciation is close enough that you know she’s got it right.

The other amazing thing is that we’ve been working on sounds and I’ve been putting the letters of the alphabet with the sounds. So when we work on (for instance) the B sound I write the letter B on a magnadoodle while we make the sound. And she now knows most of the alphabet. Not the song, she doesn’t have the verbal skills for that, but she can recognize the letters. Her wooden blocks have the letters and numbers on them - she can hand me the correct letter for 17 letters of the alphabet (and, of course, all of the numbers).

And, when I write the letter on the magnadoodle and ask what sound that letter makes, she can do a really good job of trying to make the correct sound.

I pulled out the Letter Factory DVD this weekend and she and I had a blast watching it together and making the sounds.

I know all mothers are supposed to think their children are brilliant. But mine really is. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)