And now it’s 2007
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Happy New Year | |
I think many of us are looking at the new year with a mix of feelings. For many of us, when we brought in 2006 we did so with the knowledge that this would be the year that we’d bring home the child we already hold in our hearts. And now it’s 2007 and we are still looking forward.
What can we look forward to? First, let’s see where we’ve been.
On October 3, 2005 the CCAA referred up to March 15, 2005.
It is now 15 months later and they have referred up to September 8, 2005. In fifteen months (457 days) they have referred 5.8 months.
If they refer up to September 29th (that’s still an if at this point but it’s my current best guess) on the 3rd then in 15 months they will have referred 6 months and 14 days, or a total of 198 days.
457 / 198 is 2.3
That means it has taken an average of 2.3 calendar months to get through each LID month since the slowdown began. Some have been more, some have been less, but that has been the average.
What can we hope for 2007? I think you have to figure out how much time is left between September 29th and your LID date, and then multiply that number by 2.3. If the CCAA is farther than 2 months away from your LID then multiply the time between 9/29/05 and your LID by 2.3 and that is probably a good indicator of how much longer you have to wait. (If you are closer than 2 months an average probably isn’t going to help you much, we’ll need to look at the poll data.)
As an example, if your LID is December 29th, 2005 then you are three months away so you have about 7 more months to wait. If your LID is June 6, 2006 then the CCAA is 250 days away from your LID, multiply by 2.3 and you get 575 days or about 19 or 20 more months to wait. If you were logged in December 29, 2006 then the CCAA is 456 days away from your LID, multiply by 2.3 and you get 1,049 days, or about 34 or 35 months until referral.
If you are relatively close then we need to take into account whether there are more small months or large months, but once you are about six months out that effect will probably even itself out.
And, as I said earlier, if you are closer than two months then we probably need to figure it based on the polls. I have a new daily poll all ready to just fill in the blanks once we are sure of the cut-off this time. Once we know the cut-off I’ll take the current poll down and put the new one up.
Many of us have thought things were going to speed up “next month” for the past 15 months. It hasn’t happened yet, so at this point I think we have to assume we’ll keep seeing more of the same. Probably until they begin working on the May of 2007 families, which at the current rate should happen sometime in the fall of 2010.
I think there is a chance we may see that number drop to 2 months, instead of 2.3 months. And a year from now that number may drop to 1.8 months as more and more people switch to other programs or have an opportunity come up for a domestic adoption. So for those farther out it may be more accurate to use 2 as the multiplier, which would mean someone who was LID on December 30, 2006 would be waiting 30 months instead of a possible 35 months.
January 1st, 2007 at 9:21 am
These are very depressing numbers for those of us who are just starting the process. Our LID will probably be sometime in March-April 2007. I have to be very optimistic and think it will not be that long of a wait looking at your numbers.
Can anyone tell me if the process times are different from the US to Canada. From what I can see in Canada, the wait times are only 15 months.
Happy New Year to all
January 1st, 2007 at 9:39 am
For you to be using 9/29 as a possible cutoff in the scenarios….are you getting lots more indicators of this being the potential cutoff???? Lots of good confirmations perhaps??? Anything????? :-)
January 1st, 2007 at 9:54 am
Wow! What a difference a year makes. When we subnitted our dossier in September 2005 I remember our agency telling us we would probably get a referral in February or March. We just didn’t know they meant 2007!!
At the time our agency shared the best information they had based on current trends. I don’t feel like they tried to mislead us. Since then they have updated us peridically about the extended wait.
We are getting closer to realizing our dreams of meeting our daughter but with these extended wait time projections our dreams of our second child being from China may need to change.
Happy 2007 everyone!
January 1st, 2007 at 9:57 am
Thanks for the “number crunching” RQ and all you do! Don’t take this the wrong way, but I hope you’re wrong. Just being LID last month, the thought of waiting 30 – 35 months makes me sick to my stomach. I keep being told (and hear other agencies saying) that the wait shouldn’t go over 18 months. Guess we all just have to sit back, wait and see what happens.
Happy New Year to all!
January 1st, 2007 at 10:11 am
Ugh not pretty but probably accurate. I would love a tiny speed up to avoid the Olympics and the increases/decreases that will occur around that time. I wish I had more confidence that we had the whole story. I think that would make it a little easier to swallow but I guess we just have to accept what we have been told and wait it out.
To Nova Scotia, our (Canadian) wait times are the same, everyone is in the same line. It just seems less in Canada because there are fewer agencies so if an agency doesn’t have an LID in September the last LID they had (August) waited 15 months. But the October LIDs will show the longer wait, probably 17 or 18 months, kwim?
Thank you RQ all the best in 2007.
B
4/19/06
January 1st, 2007 at 10:13 am
jmlance – going forward or backward a day or two doesn’t really change the average.
I do feel fairly good that the 29th is going to make it this time, but as I said before, I’m not positive.
January 1st, 2007 at 10:18 am
RQ, Thank you for the reply. I wasn’t sure if you had had any more confirmations or not… just thought I would ask. Feeling fairly good about it sounds good enough to me…This just all reminds me of the Aug. 24 dilemma! Is CCAA going to get to the 24th? Go into the 25th? Stop at the 23rd??? Remember all that? And they totally surprised us with the 25th as the cut-off.. Anyway…. sure hoping for a surprise soon. Our phone rang about 9:00 this morning and my dh shot out of bed at lightning speed! :-) It was just a family member wishing us Happy New Year… at 9:00 AM????????? Sheesh!
January 1st, 2007 at 10:22 am
Happy New Year RQ and the rest of the waiting families here!
It is nice to hear that you feel like the 29th does have a chance of being included! For you, and everyone close to seeing their children’s faces soon, HAPPY HAPPY January!
I will look forward to the analysis from the next poll once we have time to celebrate the next stork delivery! Come on CCAA – let’s start the new year off with a great big bang!!
Cheers!
DJR (10/24/05)
January 1st, 2007 at 10:26 am
RQ; thanks for your analysis and I would really appreciate seeing the polls for October and November. As a November LID 2005; it will help me know if a referral in April or May is realistic (I think May given CNY). I think your analysis is right on. Here’s to SOB!!!
January 1st, 2007 at 10:26 am
Wow. Depressing is right. I thought I was being conservative assuming we’d be home by the end of 2008, but with an LID of Oct.11.06 it looks as if aiming to be home before the end of 2009 is more accurate :( UGH UGH UGH. The only way I can deal with it is to keep reminding myself that the wait has to be “just so” to make sure we are matched with the child meant to come home to our family. SOOO much easier said than done! N
January 1st, 2007 at 10:27 am
Happy New Year. I love the website and read it daily. I disagree with the wait time estimate. I do not believe the gov of China will allow the wait times to hit 2 years. We adopted our daughter from China in July 2005….what a wonderful smooth experience. We have a LID of July 06 for her sister and have faith we will adopt in 2007. I know your estimate is based on facts but I think the historical data shows anything is possible.
January 1st, 2007 at 10:37 am
RQ,
I am really hoping that they will get somewhere into October this time. It really will not matter a whole lot but it would give us a boost of optimism for us folks who have yet so far to go.
January 1st, 2007 at 10:38 am
Someone check my math:
LID 12-05-05
Say they do go through Sept 29th
Days left:
1 Sept
31 Oct
30 Nov
5 Dec
———–
67 x 2.3 = 154/30 = 5.1 months until referral. Jan is over in my example and 5.1 goes up to 6 so a good guess is July for me? I can handle July as long as I know it’s probably going to be July and not Dec or something crazy like that!
January 1st, 2007 at 10:40 am
Things will speed up as soon as 9/15/05 is processed. I am the reason the entire batch is slow. You see I live Murphys law. Anything that can possibly go wrong…. So unfortunately for all of you, you just happened to get stuck in my batch.
1) I have been through 3 social workers at the agency.
2) My finance has partially worn off fingerprints (didn’t know that could happen).
3) All prices have increased.
4) Three months for the agency to write my homestudy after all data collected and submitted.
5) Missing information on my money orders so I600A returned.
6) Six weeks from my DTC to my LID. Were my papers lost at sea?
7) Website stops updating.
8) China changes the rules.
etc, etc
January 1st, 2007 at 10:44 am
I was really expecting to see referrals today. I don’t think our agency sent out their usual email telling us they wouldn’t be in the office (but maybe I’m just blocking that out).
I’m very interested in seeing how big October and November are not just because I have a November LID but for the longest time everyone has talked about them both being mammoth months.
LID 11/22/05
January 1st, 2007 at 10:49 am
Quick question: during what month will the Olympics take place? Thanks and Happy New Year!
January 1st, 2007 at 10:51 am
adventures:
DHL is taking a holiday today, so even if your agency is open (unlikely on New Year’s Day), DHL won’t be delivering packages.
Hopefully the referrals will come Tuesday or Wednesday!
Pam C
LID 9/9/05
January 1st, 2007 at 10:52 am
HopefulFor07:
The Olympics are in Beijing starting 8/8/2008 (8 is a “lucky” number in China).
Pam C
LID 9/9/05
January 1st, 2007 at 10:53 am
(weird — my 2nd post appeared before my 1st post — which hasn’t shown up yet)
Pam C
LID 9/9/05
January 1st, 2007 at 10:56 am
Thanks, Pam C. I appreciate the info.
January 1st, 2007 at 10:57 am
Thanks for the multiplier RQ. I’ve been working with a best guess of 2.5 months for my wait, so you have helped some!
So let’s see, with a 9/13/06 log in date. I have how many months in front of me? AH yes, that would be about 12.5 months ahead of me so that’s — crunch crunch crunch about 28.75. Not too shabby….considering I had 31.25!
So this helped me today. I really wanted a better multiplier. So we are looking at after the Olympics — that’s cool. I can live with that. I just don’t want to go during hte Olympics.
Thanks RQ. Happy New Year too you and your family!
January 1st, 2007 at 11:27 am
Just wanted to add that RQ’s estimate is very similar to what my agency has been telling people, more or less. They are telling potential new clients and newly logged in folks to expect the wait to go to 2-3 years, unless they are interested in requesting a waiting child. While there have been some slowdowns in the TA waits for waiting child adoptions, the average time to TA there is 2-3 months. Most of the time the process from beginning to end should take under a year. “Speed” obviously shouldn’t be the main reason for a waiting child adoption, but if specified minor/correctable needs are not a big deal, it can be a good alternative. Unfortunately, China’s no longer allowing people to switch “streams”….though there may be possibilities to start “new” with the waiting child stream, but agency folks will know more about that that I do.
Because of the new rules, I would expect to see a bottleneck of files coming in prior to May 2007, much as happened with the quotas a few years ago. After the deadline things will ease up, as they did before, but by implementing the new rules, China’s pretty much done what they can to “cull” files. The only way I think they’d be able to speed things up would be to start implementing the new rules immediately, and that doesn’t seem to be the case (and nor would it really be fair).
January 1st, 2007 at 11:30 am
Reddana
Where do you live? I, too have been through 3 social workers at my agency and have a 9/15 LID. The director of the local branch of my agency now has my file – she didn’t want us “passed” around anymore. It would be interesting to know if you and I have the same agency.
Today is my birthday and the only gift I wanted was to see my baby’s face. I can’t believe it is 2007 and she is still in China. Please CCAA – Please send those referrals!!
Yolanda
9/15/05
January 1st, 2007 at 11:31 am
Well if I figured correctly using RQ’s model…
We are 130 days from LID
X 2.3 = 299
299/30 = 9.96666
That estimates a September/October referral for us. (If we get through review.) I had a “FEELING” a few months ago that September would be the month for us. That is a ggod wey to start the new year.
January 1st, 2007 at 11:36 am
Happy New Year to you RQ, the RK and to all the other fellow soon-to-be parents around here.
Thank you for the update on the LID-to-referral figures. This is about what i expected. With a LID of 8 Dec 2005 I still hope to get my referral in June 2005.
May 2007 bring unexpected but nice surprises to us all.
:-) Beate
January 1st, 2007 at 11:39 am
Ok wait. Would somebody please check my math for me? 17-18 months seems short.
LID May 10, 2006
January 1st, 2007 at 11:41 am
17-18 more months to wait – not 17 to 18 total months to wait.
January 1st, 2007 at 11:50 am
I think we will see a speed-up after the Olympics. Not immediately, but slowly. Just a guess. And something to hope for whilde I’m still hoping to be DTC in time to be LID before May 1st.
RQ, do you have any idea how many referrals there has been in total, all countries included, in 2006? (Sorry if you already told, I’m having a hard time keeping updated and remembering everything I read here.)
January 1st, 2007 at 11:51 am
Oh my it seems the wait got longer when I wasn’t looking. I thought that with an April 06 date we would see a referral in Jan Feb of 08. Now it seems to be looking like June of 08!!!
2.5 year wait to travel.
Now, I am really aggravated. The things we would have done so differently in our lives had we only known.
I can’t help it but I am mad at China. Childish I know. But I have to be mad at someone! Okay maybe just the CCAA.
I know there are babies waiting!!! I am so ticked off right now. I just don’t think I can deal with another 15 or MORE months of waiting.
ANd then what. They close the program before we get our children. My husband says anything can happen…and China “owes us nothing”. They have NOT made ANY promises.
And if you have ever been in China and be bargaining or trying to buy something you learn quickly that, often, “a deal is not a deal”. It is just part of the culture sometimes it seems.
And for us it seems “tough luck”.
January 1st, 2007 at 11:51 am
Thanks RQ! I thought that was too go to be true. May 2008, 2 year wait. Bummer way to start the new year. :(
January 1st, 2007 at 11:57 am
I think we are in for alot of surprizes, unfortunately with the new rules.
I know alot of agencies are still saying if you are logged in, you are safe, but our agency is still insisting that when it comes to medical requirements, they are retroactive, this may cause the wait to go down with some people being denied. I know our agency does have connections and family in China so maybe they know something that the rest don’t. This is not good news for some, and I feel for the familes that will be affected.
I just don’t see why China would hold off till May 2007 to start implementing these new rules and make this long wait even longer in the next few months before May 2007.
I don’t know, but I am afraid there is going to be lots of surprizes, not the positive kinds we are hoping for.
January 1st, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Doesn’t look like I’ll ever be Rachel’s mom with a DTC of 11/30/06 :(
January 1st, 2007 at 12:07 pm
With a LID of 12/20/05, we are looking forward to a June referral. This would be great!! I never thought I would accept another 6-7 month wait, but at this point, it seems bearable.
I certainly hope 2007 will be a positive year for all of us and not such of a twisting rollercoaster this time.
January 1st, 2007 at 12:17 pm
I’m sorry that some of you are upset by RQ’s analysis but I for one am a little bit *giddy*! IF 9-29 is in then I think this is an awesome way to start to the new year!!!!!!
I don’t think I’ll be able to eat, sleep or think about anything this week until we *know* if we’re in or not. Our agency is still sticking w/ 9-22 as the cut off but that is “pure” speculation so I am a tiny bit hopeful that we may be in according to RQ.
Happy New Year to all!!!
granolagirl
9-29-05
January 1st, 2007 at 12:24 pm
Banjobean,
I’m with you – I feel some changes are coming after May 1 and I wouldn’t be surprised if they affected those already logged in.
As far as RQ’s math, it’s depressing but accurate if referrals continue at the same rate. Gosh, we will be DTC in a couple of weeks and now it looks like we won’t get a referral until sometime in 2010. My daughter will be in first grade before we bring her little sister home and by then I’ll be too old!!!!
If I had known this was going to happen with referrals, I would have started paperchasing for #2 a year ago. Grrrr….
January 1st, 2007 at 12:26 pm
I’m with ya Granolagirl! Go 9/29!!!!!!!!!!!!! And what a great way to start the new year… just like you said!!! :-)
January 1st, 2007 at 12:32 pm
oh yeah, not only unable to eat, sleep or think right now… add Cooking too!!! i’m at a complete loss in the kitchen right now, too… we’re having way too much junk food but it is the holidays, too, right???? :-)~ anyone else going thru this?? RQ… i had a thought today… it would be cool to see how people found your site! i know i saw your link on someone’s webpage, thought the idea of seeing a Rumor site was a great thing to look into, and i’ve been stuck ever since… that was early summer ’06.
ok.. back to the grocery list… haha
January 1st, 2007 at 12:39 pm
Yes, I distinctly remember this date in 2006. We were getting ready for a trip to Mexico and I was thinking that it would be our last vacation before we got our daughter (which should have been in April 2006). Well, here it is 2007 and while we do have our referral, we are still waiting on TA’s. Hopefully this week. Hang in there everyone! Happy New Year!
Panda
January 1st, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Sobering statistics, indeed. But clearly accurate as of now, and if things remain the same with CCAA procedures. (Many months ago, when anyone would write “if things continue at the same speed with CCAA procedures” I confidently thought, “but they won’t! Things will speed up!” I’ve been cured of that.)
RQ, thank you so much for helping people plan their lives and put this wait into sobering perspective. We don’t want to be in the position of saying, as was said earlier, “if only I had known, I would have done so much differently with my life during the wait.”
And thank you, Reddana, for a wonderful laugh.
Blossombaby 10.25.05
January 1st, 2007 at 12:52 pm
I know effective today my agency is no longer accepting clients who do not meet the new rules. If you were already accepted the still say you are ok if you get your dossier to them by early to mid-April.
Yes, a way to speed things up would be to make the new medical rules effective immediately but I suspect that would cause a huge brouhaha that China does not want to deal with because of face issues.
I suspect if some parents are looking at now facing an additional 2-3 years, some may drop out and go to other programs.
Baed on this guesstimate, I’m looking at a referral in late 2009. And if that’s how long I have to wait, so be it. My heart, and my daughter, are both in China :)
January 1st, 2007 at 1:05 pm
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
RQ if I am right with my math which I stink at even if I use a calculator. With a 03/21/06 LID I have another 400 days to wait which will be about 13 months? Am I right in my calculations?
I just keep telling anyone who ask I have 12 more months and have been saying this for over a year now, I figure at some point and time I will have to be less then a year away.
Everyone have a great day!
January 1st, 2007 at 1:06 pm
neatokimmo,
I too am 12/5/05 LID and I my math has us receiving referrals sometime in May and traveling June/July ish.
Adomom
January 1st, 2007 at 1:13 pm
Cooperbabe, our hearts have also always known our child was in China. There was never any other consideration for us. We don’t exactly know why, but it is very strong. This will be our first and last child and we are so grateful to have this opportunity.
Blossombaby
January 1st, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Does anyone happen to know if China adoption is slowing down at all? Are less people sending dossiers to China now that the wait is so long?? Just curious if China is wanting to adopt out less children and ,therefore, making the wait horribly long to discourage new families from adopting?????
Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOLANDA!!! Mine is Wednesday and I’m STILL praying to see my Elizabeth’s face that day!!
His,
Mrs. U
LID 9-12-05- and hoping to be NEXT and THIS MONTH for crying out loud!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.makingahouseahome.blogspot.com
and
http://www.youbelong.net/upchurchfamily
January 1st, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Hi, This is my first post and my second adoption. I have been reading for a while now. I do not believe CCAA is going to start to pull out files. I do not know why an Agency would say this to you. Another reason why this guidelines came into effect is the number of disruptions in the past 2 years. I know this because a member in my Family is in someone who knows.
I can not say more then that. CCAA will honor those who are in already. The people who were refused had more than just one issue. People switched from nsn to sn children for the wrong reason. They wanted a child faster, they did not want to wait. They were not prepared and disruption took place. also there were more disruptions going on in China where parents asked for a child with sn and then declined when they were there. We Americans are not looking to good to China right now. i know it is hard and emotional for all of you but if you think CCAA is not looking at this site you are wrong. They look at everything. So please be careful about our remarks. China does not owe us anything not even thier children. It has been a blessing for us to parent our first daughter. I mean no offense to anyone. Happy New Year
January 1st, 2007 at 1:47 pm
Just a comment that I, too, have heard from a number of sources that some of the rules are a direct response to two things – the disruptions, and the instances of children being severely injured or even killed once adopted. Not all of the new rules, but a number of them. Most of them are just designed to narrow the pool of prospective parents, of course.
However, the part where people think the CCAA has time to monitor the internet seems to be laughed off by most who have been in and out of the CCAA’s building. When the CCAA finds something out it is because an agency person tells them, not because they have a room full people who do nothing but read what is said about them on the internet.
Yes, the danger is out there that an agency will tattle on another agency for saying something (that happens a lot, apparently), or that an agency will point out that families are claiming to do something they should not do on APC (as happened several years ago when people were tracking packages).
Also, apparently a lot of agencies have been pretty vocal lately when discovering that other agencies are being given information that they aren’t being given, and the CCAA is tired of hearing them complain. This, apparently, is what precipitated the new Pay for Information system.
But to think that the CCAA actually puts their much needed manpower towards monitoring the internet to see what is being said? No.
January 1st, 2007 at 2:06 pm
So, when do you think the next batch will finally arrive? This week?
January 1st, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Just want to say: HAPPY NEW YEAR!
What else can I say about the time we have to wait for our little one’s? I was told with our agengy (when we were getting our papers ready) that the wait could grow to 24 months and at this point it seams that they are right :-( So, I’m not surprised to read this, but I do not like to read it!!!!
So…. I’ll say (and hope) for a very, very happy year for all of us!
LID may 12
January 1st, 2007 at 2:15 pm
RQ:
I do agree with you on China is trying to control number of dossiers. I will even agree that a lot has to do with the Olympics. But I do disagree if you think thaey ae not looking on to sites. I know for a FACT that they do. As I said I do have a family member who is high up and I will say she is not with an Agency. She is higher! They look at APC, FCC, and yes Rumor Queen even you. These people do not have to be in China, they can be here in the US.I will not comment about this any more because I am not here to put flames to the fire. I am just trying to make people aware like you. We are all just trying to get our children home. No Rumor Queen I do not feel you have enough power to change the way Adoption is heading and changing. We live in a free Country and you can do as you please and I respect it. At the same time if I know something that is true I do not think it is right that you down play it. Peace!
January 1st, 2007 at 2:26 pm
I am HORRIBLE with math. Can someone please help me out here? I am a LID of 10/20/2006. Based on RQ’s theories, what would my “projected” referral date be??? Help! Inquiring minds wanna know!!! :)
January 1st, 2007 at 2:28 pm
Patientlywaiting – I have been telling everyone since December 2005 that we will have our baby in one more year…LOL. Glad to know someone else see it the same way.
LID March 27
January 1st, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Looking at the LID Poll the months after Nov 2005 look alot lighter like half or more, could that speed things up? when they get to the months that have considerably less referrals to do couldn’t they get through those months alot faster? If this is stupid question forgive me but I am grasping at straws to give myself some hope for this coming year. I already love our daughter so much and can’t bear the thought of waiting another 2 years to see her beautiful face.
Thank you RQ for all you do for all of us!
Michele
January 1st, 2007 at 2:48 pm
nataliejg-
ok here goes. they are through sept 8, 2005 now. to get to to oct 20, 2006 they need to go through 13.5 months of lid’s. using rq’s formula multiply 13.5 * 2.3 and that gives 31 months from TODAY (not from your LID). if they speed up a bit and do each month in 2 (rather than 2.3) months then 27 months. 27 months would put you at about April of 2009. even longer for us as we don’t even yet have an lid (dtc last month). hope that helps!!
-zada
January 1st, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Michele
I agree with you that the months following Nov are smaller and include holiday weeks in December, Jan, Feb I think, maybe, just maybe those months will only take two or fewer months to get through….
January 1st, 2007 at 2:52 pm
Happy New Year Everyone.
You know it’s going to be a good year when your 8 year old daughter is dancing around the house in her beautiful Chinese dress with her new Chinese doll (speaks Chinese and English) singing about her sister coming home soon.
I welcome 2007 — it’s going to be a great year.
LID 10-11-05
January 1st, 2007 at 2:53 pm
ziegsma – I have the same story, when we started paperchasing we were thinking it would take 4-6 months put together our dossier and the wait was 6-8 months so we told people “about a year” then as we got further into the paperchase the wait kept increasing I have officially been saying “about a year from now” for just over a year now. People are looking at me weird now I have just started saying “I don’t know” we still have a long way to go but we will get there. It does get old trying to explain to people. But also we have friends who are adopting here in the US and they have been waiting longer than us with no promise they will ever be choosen at least I am still sure that we will get there. We are blessed that China has this program and that it is not closing it may take longer but it will happen.
January 1st, 2007 at 2:55 pm
The calculation I did works out about the same +/- a month as Bright Outlooks, so I think the math is right if you average it out…. we can all hope for better and plan for a little worse (I can’t plan for much worse) my blog is getting redundant….still waiting, we went out to dinner….still waiting….we went to a party….still waiting….we went to the beach…still waiting…..went to the snow….still waiting……you get the picture…..
Hang in there everyone, especially folks who are soon to see their children’s faces! SOB SOB SOB!!!!
January 1st, 2007 at 2:58 pm
Also, this calculation includes the months where they referred 5 days….those months were even more depressing for us, we were newly LID and they got through 5 days! Let’s hope those days are over and we get through a little more each month!
January 1st, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Slinky,
You are right that China owes us nothing and we are privileged to raise a daughter from China. I am honored that they approved my dossier and I will continue to wait until China lets me know it is my turn. But why does the process have to be done under such a shourd of secrecy? Is it due to our hunger and thirst for information? Is it because we try to speculate and they do not want us to?
January 1st, 2007 at 3:13 pm
I think we all should just face it, it is out of our hands and we must patiently or impatiently is more like it wait for our babies.
Noone has a clue when referrals will come, how far they will get, etc. It is sooo frustrating not knowing. China also has the right to change rules at anytime and we have to accept things as they happen and when.
I often say that expectanct mothers always complain how hard it is to be pregnant. Oh please!!! That gets me so angry. I would love to experience that, but it is not in the cards for me:( At least they know when they are due. Us adoptive parents don’t even know that anymore!!! It is so hard!!!
Once I have my daughter in my arms at least I will realize the precious gift I have been given and will not take one day for granted. I have been waiting to be a mother for way too long and it is so hard to wait. For those of you that already have children be thankful for what you have. You are so lucky to already be parents, while I wait and wait and wait just to be a Mother for the first time.
January 1st, 2007 at 3:23 pm
What is the new Pay for Information system?
Lisa
January 1st, 2007 at 3:25 pm
Lisa:
The CCAA is apparently going to charge the agencies to access information that is posted on the site now, such as review room information and matching room dates, so that information will no longer be by public access on the website, but through your agency.
January 1st, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Slinky
My Dad’s wife is Chinese, and she say, that they would definitely be checking all sites related to anything associated with the Chinese Government. Most countries do this. Adoption agencies do it all the time. They don’t necessarily have people who work for them check things out, they either hire people and organizations to do that for them if they can afford it, or just do it from home.
Our Guide in China who now works for CCAA with domestic adoptions seemed to know an awful lot about US attitudes with regards to adoption. She said that this information was never relayed to her directly. This would never happen because families are paranoid about saying or doing anything wrong while in China incase it might jeapardize their adoption process.
January 1st, 2007 at 3:40 pm
does anyone know if the ccaa is open on tuesday?
January 1st, 2007 at 3:45 pm
banjobean,
A member of my extended family died last year, along with her 8 month old fetus, due to complications of pregnancy. If she were still alive, she may have responded to your comment by echoing what you said but with a few changes, “I often say that (adoptive) mothers always complain how hard it is to be waiting. Oh please!!! That gets me so angry. I would love to experience that, but it is not in the cards for me.”
My point is that this isn’t supposed to be a competition as to who suffers more. Pregnancy contains all of the risks, uncertainties and hopefully, the joys that the adoption process does. I do not think it is necessary to make comparisons as to who suffers more.
January 1st, 2007 at 3:58 pm
Wow! I was away for the past 5 days without internet access and thought I’d come back to good news. This is pretty depressing.
Happy New Year everyone! Here’s to a speed up in 2007!!!
LID 6.13.05
January 1st, 2007 at 4:01 pm
pandamomma,
I am sorry for your loss, we all tend to think of pregnancy as a guaranteed outcome~healthy mommy and baby. This tragic experience reminds us that nothing in life is guaranteed and each day is a gift! Thank you for sharing your sorrow. May 2007 be a better year for you and your family.
January 1st, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Happy New Year to you RQ, and to everyone else here in the kingdom!
January 1st, 2007 at 4:08 pm
2qts4me & everyone:
You are right. They do hire outsiders to check on sites! I am glad to hear more positive outlooks from a lot of you. CCAA like Rumor Queen said is tired of Agencies calling with different issues. They feel they have every right to control even if it effects all of us. It is our lifestyle wanting to know when, where and why. China just tells what they want. It is a communist country as we all know. From what I was told most of these guidelines will change again, that they will change after the Olympics. If we look at what the US puts couples through for Adoption, China isn’t bad at all! I think our nerves get the best of us. Adoption is 60% brains and 40% faith! I am not getting in to religon here. There is the unknown part of it that makes it so difficult at times. So I understand the need to vent but I think we should be careful of we say and try to remember that we are going to this country to take our child home. Thanks for everyones input on this issue.
January 1st, 2007 at 4:12 pm
pandamomma:
Thank you for sharing your tragic loss with us. Sometimes we all focus on our own pain and forget that there are no guarantees in life, even with a natural process such as pregnancy. I am sorry for your loss and may 2007 be a better year for you and your family.
January 1st, 2007 at 4:17 pm
In defense to banjobean, I don’t think she was trying to be competitive with anyone. I think she was trying to impart her feelings of inability to have children biologically. I completely understand her feelings and I will tell you why.. When we were TTC, I was inconsolable. I had feelings of being inadequate as a woman, and serious jealousy. When we found out I was PG, I was over the moon, but cautious for a long time during my pregnancy. I mistakenly thought that everything was perfect since all of my weekly ultrasounds came out great. However, when I was 2 days shy of 36 weeks, our beloved daughter Kahlan died in utero. She was stillborn 5/20/03.
I also got mad when I heard those comments. I still get slightly frustrated myself and I have BTDT with a horrible outcome. Both sides suck, there is no two ways about it.
Pandamom is absolutely correct.. Pregnancy has everything that adoption does, unfortunately, there usually isn’t as much concern for a-parents as there is for a pregnant woman. Regardless as to how you form a family, both ways should be respected completely.
We are officially weeks from referral, and while I miss my daughter very much, I wouldn’t trade this process for anything. The past 3.5 years has taught me more about myself and my dh than our first 11 years together. There are just as many risks in IA, or DA as a PG.
It is natural to have icky feelings when confronted with something you are unable to attain. The true test, is to how we react when faced with this situation. Hopefully, we are all able to grow as human beings instead of stagnate and become bitter.
y’all have a lovely day and please know that I am speaking from personal experience.
Pandamom- I am sorry for the double loss that your family experienced. It is never easy to lose a child and then to lose the mother on top of it had to be very painful..
Claire
LID 10/10/05
January 1st, 2007 at 4:48 pm
I agree with mcginnisc. We all come to adoption through different routes, some more painful than for others. The important thing is the joy you will feel when you see your daughter or son’s face for the first time; something that I am fortunate to see on a daily basis in my own children’s faces.
I am so grateful that RQ developed this site because it allows all of us to share our experiences in this process in a non-judgemental forum.
I really feel for those with September LID’s-but in a good way. In another week or so (hopefully less) you will see your daughter or son’s face for the first time. Believe me its a moment you will NEVER forget. The only other moment that will supersede this will be the moment that you finally meet your daugher and hold her in your arms. I will always be grateful to the CCAA and my daughters biological mother for uniting me with my daugher and will be even more grateful when I finally meet my new daughter. Right now, I am trying to be focused on this point. Believe me I remember what waiting was like when I did not have any children; its HARD. The great news is that this is almost over for all the September 2005 LIDers (at least I hope so: SOB).
Happy New Year to everyone. I am still saying SOB all the way.
Take care.
January 1st, 2007 at 5:16 pm
Happy birthday Yolanda- I am in PA w/ {agency name removed by RQ}.
I think we may hear something tomorrow although not from the states. Since there are posts coming in from Europe and they aren’t closed for the Ford funeral we may still find out something.
January 1st, 2007 at 5:20 pm
slinky
I agree that adoption agencies and CCAA probably check out the sites. I don’t think that rules regarding adoption are changed because of the sites. I don’t know it is just my opinion. I am LID 11/06 and very concerned because I don’t meet one of the new rules unless they truly don’t take affect until 05/07. I am working on not making it an exclusion but wouldn’t meet the time requirement regardless. I personally don’t feel the Chinese owe me anything. I am grateful to be considered to adopt one of their children. My husband and I will be completely broken hearted if we are no allowed to do so. We didn’t realize that we would be at all at risk of not recieving a child. We consider ourselves people that would make excellent parents. We already have love for our future daughter. We were told that China was a sure thing and that came from the agency not China. We are concerned but like someone else posted nothing even a pregnancy is without risk.
Long story short, thanks for your post. Thanks to all who post and share thier concerns. If anyone looked at this sight in depth they would also see that their are many areas that disucss development and health care for adopted children. Wonderful resources that I appreciate having access to.
January 1st, 2007 at 5:22 pm
I have been thinking about the comment that it is easier to be pregnant than to go through the adoption wait, and I it is such a difficult discussion. I was faced with complete infertility at age 27, and a surprise pregnancy three months later. My pregnancy was uneventful, and even enjoyable. (largely due to the fact that for the first time in years, my body was producing normal hormones, and I was riding around on a hormonal happy high.) We had a beautiful healthy girl who is now 5 years old. My pregnancy was 1000 times easier than our wait for the adoption. With pregnancy I had a set ‘end date’ and daily reminders of the child we were expecting. With the wait for our newest daughter, I have only my hope to keep me company, and it’s a lonely wait with aching arms and no information on when the wait will end. I was lucky, though.
My best friend has lost 2 sons in 14 months. They each died before full term due to a genetic abnormality. They were both very small, very beautiful boys, and it was devastating. I can guarantee that my friend would say that my adoption wait is infinitely easier than carrying and losing two sons, and she is right. My complaints are nothing in comparison. She is stronger than I could dream of being.
I think that, especially for the families that find thier way here, there is no end to the stories, both heartbreaking and wonderful, and none of it is easy.
There are some who do have the ‘baby thing’ easy. Like, say, my ex boyfirend’s wife who just had their 4th healthy boy. Some people have it easy, the rest of us have margaritas and eachother.
January 1st, 2007 at 5:40 pm
OK — several people are asking for math checks. I’m going to too since math isn’t my strongest subject… We are LID January 12, 2006. I’ve figured that our referral will come around August, 2007. Am I on target here?
If this is correct, it’s an entire year behind what our agency orginally told us when we began paperchasing in August, 2005. At this point, though, I just hope it’s not longer than I’m currently figuring… Deep breathing during this wait of a lifetime, everyone!
January 1st, 2007 at 5:57 pm
I think the discussion about bio vs adoption is a valuable one… not as a bickering point, but as an illustration that everyone has their own challenges and frustrations and it’s impossible to say who has it harder. I am blessed with three bio kids. I’ve experienced easy pgcies and a difficult one – I’ve complained about how uncomfortable I was pregnant and I’ve missed being pregnant so badly it broke my heart… All that behind me, I yearn for this baby as much if not more than the children I carried… I don’t believe that being a mother already makes the wait any easier – bottom line, whether it’s a first child or a fourth a family is incomplete and a child is missing – and that hurts. N
January 1st, 2007 at 6:02 pm
I think your math is right on….I wish it wasn’t, but before next Christmas and Happy 2007!!!!!
January 1st, 2007 at 6:23 pm
reddana
email me, I would like to find out if we have the same agency. If so, we will definately be traveling together.
clayton.wentworth@cox.net
I’ll look forward to hearing from you there.
Yolanda
January 1st, 2007 at 6:25 pm
NovaScotia-
Hi from Newfoundland! There are some procedural differences between the US & Canada when it comes to adopting from China (regular program) but these don’t affect the wait times once your dossier is logged-in in China. There are probably bigger differences between the countries in terms of how the WCP is run- but, again, wait times from LID to receiving a TA seem to be about the same.
Carolyn
http://china-calling.blogspot.com
January 1st, 2007 at 6:38 pm
It’s so hard to compare adoption to being pregnant. From my own personal experience, both are difficult. Just because you get pregnant doesn’t mean you’ll stay pregnant. After many rounds of failed IVF I got pregnant finally but my water broke early and at 6 months I gave birth to my daughter. Her lungs weren’t developed enough so she passed away after 15 minutes. It was hell. Trust me, as frustrated as I am with the long wait for our referral, it’s nothing compared to losing a child. Sometimes we just need to put things in perspective.
January 1st, 2007 at 6:52 pm
sophie_mom:
I had almost the same experience, difficult time getting/staying pregnant. It is a HUGE heart breaker to say the least. Losing a child, whether miscarriage, at birth or after, we all need the love and support of friends and family to make it through!
January 1st, 2007 at 6:57 pm
HopefulFor07-
Yes, based on RQ’s math formula, you are right. August…traveling around October.
It might be true.
I don’t know. That timing would be fine with me, actually. It’s the “not at all in 2007″ people that make me upset. As I had said before (I think) other projections are June…travel in August. It’s all kind of an educated guess. Basically, I think we’ll see our babies faces(either in photo or in person) “this summer sometime”
Tina
January 1st, 2007 at 6:58 pm
Natalie Says;
“…bottom line, whether it’s a first child or a fourth a family is incomplete and a child is missing – and that hurts. ”
Very nicely put. You found the words for how I felt.
January 1st, 2007 at 7:10 pm
It has been very interesting reading about the personal experiences and feelings many of you share about pregnancy/adoption. I know many of you out there share the same situation with me: infertility procedures that failed, then finally getting pregnant only to have a miscarraige. When I was going through the interuterine inseminations with fertility drugs it was So devasting each time it didn’t work. But, I always knew there would be no guarantees. We gave up on being parents for years. Then out of the blue- no treatments we got pregnant, but had the miscarraige. Everybody said we should keep trying and go back to the clinic and go for it. We did not want to do invetro we finally came to the conclusion that we would adopt. Our friends have 2 beautiful girls from China and they had nothing but positive things to say about every step of the process. The miscarraige is what finally made us realize we were ready to adopt a girl from China. I knew in my heart that’s what we needed to do! This process is almost more difficult because I feel like my daughter is sort of being dangled in front of us and like a bad dream she keeps being pulled further away. Having a child is a leap of faith no matter how you go about it! Lately I am feeling better knowing with a 11-30-05 I could be within 6 months of a referral. I will continue to keep the faith!
January 1st, 2007 at 7:12 pm
Thanks for your response, Worthwaitingfor!
Everyone,
As a wise, older friend of mine pointed out, we ALL have our struggles in life. She said that she used to look at some people and think their life was perfect but learned otherwise. I think she makes a good point.
Luckily, thanks to China, we each have the opportunity to either become first-time parents or to add a member to our family. We all have a baby who we yearn for with all of our heart. And what a beautiful story of love and hope that yearning creates.
January 1st, 2007 at 7:20 pm
Waiting4Amelia:
I wish I can take your anxiety away from you. We just discussed this at my Chinese adoption support group. There were two lawyers there. They are DTCL December 06. They said they would not have met assets because of school loans. We all know they will be more than great in a couple of years. They still can provide for a child now. They were also concerned and talked with thier Agency. They were assured that it will be fine. They also said they would sue if they were denied because now it is in writing New Guidelines as of May1, 2007. I know in the past when CCAA changes a guideline or puts somethig new into effect they always give a date and stick by it. They do keep thier word. Sorry for typos but I have my 4 year old from Hunan on my lap.
January 1st, 2007 at 7:39 pm
Slinky, you wrote this in an earlier comment:
“No Rumor Queen I do not feel you have enough power to change the way Adoption is heading and changing.”
Where on earth did anyone get this idea? We all come here to network, to learn and share information, give and receive support. So the above is not even an issue. And frankly, it’s bizarre.
January 1st, 2007 at 7:55 pm
Skye06:
I can not believe that you would take one sentence of what I wrote and make it nasty. I meant nothing nasty or hurtful to any one. That is not what this is about. RQ made her points and I made mine and if you noticed at the end of my post I said PEACE! I think RQ both made vaild points.
January 1st, 2007 at 7:58 pm
I was reading a book on grief today (I lost my Mother recently) and one of the most simple and most honest lines was “What grief if the most profound? (i.e. losing a child, parent, sibling or spouse) . THe answer, of course: the grief that YOU are dealing with right now. There is no way to say who’s road is the most difficult. We all expereince it from a different perspective.
January 1st, 2007 at 8:04 pm
Skye:
How can this issue be Bizzare if we are all adopting from China. I am sure this topic has been discussed before. Is it bizzare to read some people saying things that are not so nice about CCAA or China because of delays, New guidelines etc. We talk about this at my Support group all the time. I do believe I would give support to any fellow adoptee. I think you calling me Bizarre is not very nice and a supportive thing to do. I will share any information as I think I have been.
January 1st, 2007 at 8:08 pm
Slinky, please do NOT take it this way. I wasn’t making it nasty at all. I read it and said, “Huh?” I’m confused. This issue was apparently also brought up on the APC board and I just don’t understand where it would come from.
The CCAA acts in whatever way they choose, and we all react. We are totally separate from what goes on in China, and however we react comes afterward. What they do affects us but what we do doesn’t affect them or the process, so I can’t figure out how this thought would come about at all. Was there something written that made you think this?
January 1st, 2007 at 8:11 pm
I don’t think you’re bizarre at all. I don’t think anyone here is bizarre. It’s the best China IA community on the Net.
January 1st, 2007 at 8:32 pm
OK, random question here. This may have been answered before but I was just trying to figure out some math. I’m LID 11/30/05, and I am trying to figure out my Expected Referral Date (ERD). Why is it that some days have a huge amount of people logged in and other days there is no one logged in at all? For example. According to RQ’s polls ,September 29th there are 66 people logged in, then on September 3rd there is only 3 people logged in, and then on October 1st there a zero people logged in? Why is that? Can anyone answer that? Oh, and it would be nice for another poll into November so we can see how huge it really is…… Thanks
January 1st, 2007 at 8:36 pm
I just wanted to put in my two cents:
I have been feeling the same way slinky feels about some of the comments made on this site. Please be careful, a few rude or careless comments could ruin it for everyone.
You may or may not agree with China’s adoption procedures but, keep your negative comments to your selves. Also, the amount of orphanages set up for IA are non of our business. China is more then generous by allowing us to adopt their abandoned infants. Please no more negative comments on referral speed either. The CCAA is working hard to make matches in a timely manor with the amount of available paper ready babies.
Personally I am just thrilled that the Chinese are letting me adopt. I respect and love their country. I knew when I began this that it may not go as smooth as I planned.
Again please be careful! Do not say negative things as CCAA is watching us. Please do not ruin it for all of us.
I love this site for its referal rumors and support.
LID 5/31/06
single mom to be
Also
January 1st, 2007 at 8:50 pm
bruno –
We have an 11/28/05 LID, so we are right there with us. In the case of the first week of October, the CCAA is on holiday that week, so that explains why there are no LIDs for that week. There are also weekends that would probably not have any LIDs. As for some days being bigger than others, I gotta think the “log-in room” folks workload is like many of ours…..some days you do specific parts of your job. Maybe someone “signs off on them” and they sign off on a pile of dossiers at a time. Also, the flow of dossiers is probably not consistent as some agencies send in once a month, others every week. This would contribute to heavier days as well.
Good luck……we are hoping for an April/May referral. If they get through most of Sept this time and the first week of October doesn’t really have any dossiers, we think the end of January should get well into October. Feb should finish Oct and maybe into Nov…..then Mar/Apr/May to get through November. This is totally our analysis – its not based on anything other than our own logic.
January 1st, 2007 at 8:51 pm
Do some of ya’ll think you see black helicopters spying on you? The paranoia coming out today is really a bit unsettling.
Seriously, don’t come into my living room and tell people what they can and cannot say.
Yes, there are commenters that speak with an air of entitlement that bother me occasionally, and we usually talk about that. Someone else usually brings it up before I have a chance, and it’s handled in a fairly adult way most of the time. And I’d like to think the original commenter gets a new way of looking at things out of the conversation.
And sometimes people express their frustration, and then we usually talk about that, too. It’s called a conversation, with give and take.
January 1st, 2007 at 8:54 pm
Skye:
No offense taken! Happy new Year! Sometimes when I come here I read things that are not so kind towards the CCAA and China. This makes us look not so good to the Chinese. I do not think RQ knows how big she is. I know they have been here looking Because I was told so, that is all I can say. We Americans are not looking so good in the eyes of the Chinese. That is why I said they owe us nothing,that it has been a blessing to already have one daughter from China. I bet RQ feels the same way. I just think we should talk better of the Country our children are going to come from. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth,Thats all! i just went on APC and it does look like they are having a debate about RQ. Of course we have the pros and cons going on.
January 1st, 2007 at 8:56 pm
A question that may have an obvious answer, but I don’t get. If the agencies are closed on Sunday and presumably Monday (today) for New Years day, then how are people getting info to share w/ RQ that would lean towards 9/26 and maybe through 9/29. Or for that matter, how would there be any rumors out there. As an addict, of course I had to check the site yesterday and today, even during a New Years Day party at my house :)! But anyway, I just don’t get how this info could be obtained and passed on. Help me if you would please.
Meg
LID 9/29
January 1st, 2007 at 8:57 pm
Hedge, thanks for your reply. I’m hoping April for a referral, that would only be fournmonths away. That’s an easy count down!!!!!
January 1st, 2007 at 9:06 pm
mclark35 – as I continue saying, I have never given up a source and I do not intend to start now. I’ve already said that some agencies got information and let their people know. Just because the office is closed does not mean that someone at the agency doesn’t check their email from home, see an email from their person in China and then email the information to their clients that are up for a referral.
As for everyone else – my sources continue to tell me that the CCAA does not have time to surf the internet, and that the information they get comes from agencies who tattle. Is it possible that with the media attention on IA from China that the Chinese government has surfed around to see what adoption blogs are saying? Sure, I guess it is. But I have no concerns that the CCAA is taking the time to read every comment on the blog and every post on the forum.
I also do not see black helicopters floating around, either.
January 1st, 2007 at 9:17 pm
Hedge,
I am praying you’re right! If I recieve a referral by May or even June -I will be so happy!
RQ- I only wish I had known about this site months ago. I visit daily for updates and can always count on emotional support that I haven’t been able to get anywhere else! I can’t tell you enough how wonderful it is to be able to communicate with others that are going through the exact things I’m going through! THANKS!
LID 11-30-05
January 1st, 2007 at 9:17 pm
Black helicopters.. .hee hee Makes me think of “Mater” on the movie “Cars”…. “hell-eee copters”…
January 1st, 2007 at 9:20 pm
jmlance, ROFL
My 3 yr old and I have now watched that movie…umm…100 times at least!
Thanks for the laugh :)
(Mater is my favorite!)
January 1st, 2007 at 9:34 pm
As usual thank you RQ for the hard work and analysis you do. We love referral time and know that each month gets us a little closer. We appreciate all the discussion from readers and learn so much. Looking forward to referrals this month.
LID 12-09-05
Becky
January 1st, 2007 at 9:34 pm
yep, when i hear the word “helicopter” i just automatically go into “mater-isms”…. that’s my very favorite one!
January 1st, 2007 at 9:40 pm
Slinky, glad to hear it, as offending anyone, anywhere would never, ever be my intention (which is why I left that particular online group). I think I just expressed my confusion in a ‘bizarre’ way ;-) without explaining properly.
As RQ reminded us, it’s ‘her site, her rules.’ She has set the standards and it’s up to us to follow them. And within those standards, no matter who’s watching, we have to have somewhere where we can speak (write) freely. I really don’t think anything goes on here that would cause problems with the authorities even if they are (were) watching. I truly believe that none of us would be adopting from China if we didn’t, in the very least, respect the country and the process. Best wishes to you and your, Slinky, for a great 2007. May it pass quickly (enough) to bring us closer to our children.
January 1st, 2007 at 9:48 pm
Can we change the subject here? So, RQ I think your still up… Have you started packing yet? Question???? Do you need to get adaptors for the electrical outlets in China, ya know to plug in your blowdryer and stuff??
January 1st, 2007 at 9:52 pm
Resolution – it’s a good thing! I think they have blow dryers in the hotel bathrooms. Laptops usually have the adaptors already on them. What about other items?
January 1st, 2007 at 9:54 pm
I just wanted to say I like this site because I feel like people can speak freely and I must have missed something,what was said bad about the CCAA, so the wait sucks I’m sure they know how we feel about that.
January 1st, 2007 at 9:58 pm
So IF referrals were mailed out Friday night—when will we start seeing them?
IF they will be mailed out tomorrow— when will we see them?
Are those the only two options of dates for them to be mailed out?
I soooooo want to be *in* this time but my dh won’t be home until LATE Thursday so I’m flipping out a little.
granolagirl
9-29
January 1st, 2007 at 10:12 pm
I’m curious as to how agencies – especially China-only – are framing their presentations to potential new clients. Are they up front about the uncertainties, especially with the new rules? Or do clients have to figure that out for themselves?
I look back on the presentation we attended in Aug. 2005 and … was the leader just unaware of the obvious pending slowdown? Or did she carefully orchestrate her phrasing?
I like my agency and respect that they are a business in need of clients. But, I’m wondering how they and others bring those clients in given the current climate.
Patti
3/21/06
January 1st, 2007 at 10:16 pm
from what i hear hairdryers are already there but if you have thick hair, or you use it to style your hair (like i do, no curling iron) then you may want to take a really good travel hairdryer. anyone confirm this for me?? i like this topic! we haven’t started packing yet but i’m scouring for those last minute “must have” lists and the “don’t bother” lists as well… could we start a list???
January 1st, 2007 at 10:17 pm
Thank you for your help, zada! :)
January 1st, 2007 at 10:22 pm
Patti – I’m with a large China only and while I haven’t been to a presentation lately, I do know that as of 1/1/07 they will no longer accept clients who don’t meet the new rules. I know they were telling people they had to have their dossiers to the agency by early/mid April but as of today they will not accept new clients who don’t meet ALL of the regs. Even though that may be devastating for some people, I respect the agency for being upfront with their clients
January 1st, 2007 at 10:23 pm
Hi old & new friends, It has been a long time since I have posted. I have been loyal and reading almost eveyday. It is a long story. Let’s just say that I needed to focus more on our “before we get DD to do list” to help ease the pain of waiting. I am not sure that I can mention a book title, so RQ let me know. We recently read a short and very funny book on how to get along with the Chinese. It has helped us understand why or/and how they do somethings differently. It also explains cultural things for travel, etc. I believe that lots of you would enjoy it. It has helped us see things a little differently and right now any little bit helps. Happy New to everyone and I hope to post more often! RQ thanks for all that you do!!!
Deb
chefquintero@hotmail.com
LID11/22/05
NY
January 1st, 2007 at 10:59 pm
We’re waiting for our TA now (sent LOI for our daughter who is a waiting child almost 2 weeks ago) so I’m ready to talk hair dryers!
All of the hotels that we’ve stayed in so far have had hair dryers. Most in the bathroom, but I believe that I found them in the desk drawer twice!
We’ve always taken a converter/adapter set. Check your electronics manuals; many of them do not require a converter, but you’ll most likely need the adapter to be able to plug them in.
I take a dual voltage hair straightener (scary hair here) and then just use the adapter. I’m so paranoid about being without one though I’ll probably take a backup!!
January 1st, 2007 at 11:21 pm
I am a very new poster to this site. I adopted my daughter successfully from China and never once looked at this site until now. We’ve been home for a year!
I read that you, the RQ, are LID for your second child. But other than being a waiting mom like all of us(we started our quest for DD#2) what qualifies you to say the things you say, state the things you state etc? I’m not being rude. I’m just wondering what makes you more qualified that any other person here to create a blog and name themselves the RQ? Where can I find the hisotry of the RQ? Like how this started, when and why? I mean, is all this info you post just from other AP’s and PAP’s that spread rumors, hence the name RQ?
January 1st, 2007 at 11:46 pm
As a three time adoptive parent I have pretty much experienced all the craziness Chinese adoption has to offer from an extended wait to referral for our first child (15mths) to a speed up for our second referral (supposed to be 12-15 and ended up being 8) to an extended wait for a TA (over 100 days). One thing that Chinese adoption has taught me over the years is definitley how to be more patient! There is really no way to make anyone feel better about a long wait that sucks. But there are things that you can do to help keep your mind off of it. I have read a lot over the years. Books about adoption, China pretty much anything rated well I could get my hands on. As I have read more and more about China’s history and people I have come better to appreciate the cultural differences there are between our two countries. I have never understood all the CCAA secrecy and their unwillingness to be forthcoming with such basic information which to us seems just part of a normal process but one must understand the environment that the CCAA lives under to appreciate why they so the things they do. A recent book I read called “Daughter of the Yellow River” is an excellent book not only for building yourself up but is a keen observation between the business practices of western and Chinese cultures. Maybe some of you waiting might have the chance to pick it up and give it a read. It won’t make the wait any shorter but it might help explain why China does things the way they do sometimes. Maybe there may be a time that Chinese draw on some of the western best business practices and us on theirs but for now we cannot expect to change the way they have been doing things for years. Best of luck to those waiting for referrals in the next batch. You will be on cloud nine soon and forget this terrible wait.
January 2nd, 2007 at 12:11 am
are we sure it’s black helicopters people are seeing or pink elephants? ;) hehe
speaking of black helicopters, I’ve noticed one of the channels (i forget which one now…this last week’s been interesting with the new kiddo) has been showing ‘Airwolf’ alot. I forgot how cheesy yet cool that show was.
sorry, just making silly small talk…I just read this thread and it does make me alittle bummed for you guys. :( All I can say though is to hang in there. this has been sooooooo sooooo sooooooo worth everything.
January 2nd, 2007 at 12:12 am
My comments are made regarding adoption/pregnancy were soley personal and didn’t intend to offend or it to be a competion. Somehow my words got twisted there. Just stating how I felt, as we all are intitled to.
The last thing I wanted to do was cause an uproar.
I am just having a very hard and emotional time as I am sure we all are and just had to get a few things out of my system. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me.
I think we all tend to feel sorry for ourselves and are so caught up in our emotions that we don’t look beyond and see or care to grasp how others feel.
January 2nd, 2007 at 12:29 am
MyKidsMommy
I guess anyone is free to start a blog, but it would take them a LOOOOOONG time to get to a point where hundreds of people shared their information with them. I don’t know RQ’s history, but she is priveledged to so much information and has an amazing knack of sifting through it all. This blog is HUGE. My husband who is so critical of websites is downright amazed with RQ. He swears she is really some big marketing firm doing tests on us all…:)
RQ has proved herself again and again and I am amazed at the grasp I now have on this process because of this site. I barely check our agencies updates because they are usually about three days behind RQ. It’s all old news by then!
January 2nd, 2007 at 12:55 am
Happy New Year to RQ and our community, Here’s to a
wonderful 2007. After reading the year in review I would
of thought I would of never said this. I am so happy that
I have a lid in November 2005. Not too much longer!!!!!
RQ, I HOPE YOU GET YOUR REFERRAL REAL SOON!!!!
Lid 11/18/05 for Allison Taylor
http://www.ost.redthreadkids.org
January 2nd, 2007 at 1:15 am
‘mykidsmommy:
The RQ is just what she says at the top of the page; she gathers rumors from people like us that get information from our agencies and she compiles them and tries to make sense of the rumors, not spread them. I personally love this site, as I find it informative, and much kinder than say, the APC site for instance. Interestingly enough, there have been discussions on other boards, including my agency’s board about the RQ and how some people “hear” about the RQ and say that she is negative and other things, but they haven’t actually read RQ’s comments. Silly. I think she rocks.
Anyone can start a blog and gather facts and do projections and estimates and call themselves anything they want. The Rumor Queen takes her role very seriously and tries to keep us all apprised of what she hears from around the world. I don’t know how she started this hobby while she waits the long wait with the rest of us, but I’m very happy she did.
Also, if anyone at CCAA is reading this out there – thank you for the opportunity to raise one of your beautiful daughters! I have one child from Jiangxi Province that will be 8 in two weeks and am LID 5-18-06 for mei mei. If anyone is good at math, can you tell me when by RQ’s time projections I’ll get my referral? I think it is around 8-08. I received my first daughter on 8-8-99 :-)
January 2nd, 2007 at 2:00 am
I would like to respond to MyKidsMommy’s comments/questions and suggest that we do not trash her for making/asking them. This is a highly emotional, stressful situation and many of us turn to RQ and her blog for information and comfort. If I were just coming to RQ’s site, I would probably ask myself the same questions.
I am responsible for the information I take/believe from the web and how I use it. RQ has proved herself to me over time by providing a even-handed review of available rumors and analyzing them; RQ has also set up rules the she and those, who participate on this blog, are required to follow.
Until she proves otherwise, I believe RQ has a lot of integrity to do what she does, how she does it. She has sources coming to her because she has proved herself to be a trustworthy person with whom to share information. RQ doesn’t owe me anything, in terms of rumors or anything else.
I am glad RQ is good at what she does at a time when I need the information. If she were to turn out to be something/someone other than what she represents herself to be, it’s shame on me for going along for the ride.
I encourage MyKidsMommy to hang out for a while to find out about RQ for herself and for everyone else to continue asking questions and finding their own answers.
I hope you are all having a wonderful start to your new year. I hope I get to see the face of our DD #2 before the next new year.
K.
LID 12/7/2005
January 2nd, 2007 at 4:41 am
RQ:
I don’t know if you missed my question or don’t have an answer, but I’ll try posting it again:
Do you have any idea how many referrals there has been in total, all countries included, in 2006?
And about the helicopters: I don’t think the staff at the CCAA has the time to surf the internet and visit sites like this, but I do think they may know about it anyway. People who work there have time off work too, and probably some of them have access to the internet at home or somewhere else. Sure, if I worked there I would be curious about what is being said! So I wouldn’t be surprised if they have some knowledge. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t either. The Swedish agencies amaze me by not being at all interested, they always know things a long time after I do. IF staff at the CCAA sometimes read here I think it’s a good thing. But we should keep trying to be respectful, whether they read here or not. Personally I think we are doing OK with that, most of the time.
MyKidsMommy: There are very good answers to all of your questions and I won’t answer for RQ. I just have to tell you what I think. I’m always surprised at the fact that so many people read this site as if RQ is telling us what is going to happen. If that was her intention maybe she would have named herself Oracle Queen. She didn’t. And I still never saw her write ANYTHING as a truth if it wasn’t. As a matter of fact, she hardly ever says anything is a fact, she only does so if she is positive it is and as we all know, that doesn’t happen very often in the China Adoption World. She always tells us when a rumor is a rumor and nothing else, and is also kind enough to tell us how credible she thinks the rumor is, based on what she knows about her sources. And even then, if she says “this is an r5″ (rumors are rated from 1 to 5), she only says “this if what I think”. Then it’s up to us to make our own judgements.
I think you could find some of the information you are looking for by surfing the site a little more, especially the links under Site Navigation.
HAPPY NEW YEAR RQ and everyone else!
January 2nd, 2007 at 4:48 am
RQ: (sorry if this is posted twice, it never came in so I tried again)
I don’t know if you missed my question or don’t have an answer, but I’ll try posting it again:
Do you have any idea how many referrals there has been in total, all countries included, in 2006?
And about the helicopters: I don’t think the staff at the CCAA has the time to surf the internet and visit sites like this, but I do think they may know about it anyway. People who work there have time off work too, and probably some of them have access to the internet at home or somewhere else. Sure, if I worked there I would be curious about what is being said! So I wouldn’t be surprised if they have some knowledge. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t either. The Swedish agencies amaze me by not being at all interested, they always know things a long time after I do. IF staff at the CCAA sometimes read here I think it’s a good thing. But we should keep trying to be respectful, whether they read here or not. Personally I think we are doing OK with that, most of the time.
MyKidsMommy: There are very good answers to all of your questions and I won’t answer for RQ. I just have to tell you what I think. I’m always surprised at the fact that so many people read this site as if RQ is telling us what is going to happen. If that was her intention maybe she would have named herself Oracle Queen. She didn’t. And I still never saw her write ANYTHING as a truth if it wasn’t. As a matter of fact, she hardly ever says anything is a fact, she only does so if she is positive it is and as we all know, that doesn’t happen very often in the China Adoption World. She always tells us when a rumor is a rumor and nothing else, and is also kind enough to tell us how credible she thinks the rumor is, based on what she knows about her sources. And even then, if she says “this is an r5″ (rumors are rated from 1 to 5), she only says “this if what I think”. Then it’s up to us to make our own judgements.
I think you could find some of the information you are looking for by surfing the site a little more, especially the links under Site Navigation.
HAPPY NEW YEAR RQ and everyone else!
January 3rd, 2007 at 9:32 am
I wanted to say thank you so much to RQ! I didn’t know about this website til much later in our process. i wish i found it from the beginning ! we were wondering why it was taking so long to the this referral! our adoption agency told us 6-8 months wait at first….well, it’s been 15 months now. like the rest of you, we wait to see if 9-27-05 will be included this time. RQ…thank you again for your insight !