Cut off might be the 9th
One agency has notified their families that the cut off will be the 9th and that 10th will not be included in this batch.
This one is somewhere between an R2 and R3 at this point.
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Note from RQ: The section below is for comments from ChinaAdoptTalk.com's community of registered readers. Please don't assume that I agree with any particular comment just because I let it stand. Posts are generally only removed if they don't follow the rules of the site. Anyone who fails to comply with the rules of the site may lose his or her posting privilege. 84 Responses to “Cut off might be the 9th”Leave a ReplyYou must be logged in to post a comment. |
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March 31st, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Ugh. Sometimes there are no words.
I hope this rumor doesn’t come to pass.
March 31st, 2008 at 4:34 pm
This would be an awful small batch of referrals per the poll, but the history of the past 2 years, the 2nd batch after CNY has been very small. Not sure why this is exactly. I hope this is what we are seeing here. But MAN, I sure had hopes on a bigger batch, my heart has dropped a bit this afternoon.
Michael
LID 2/28/06
March 31st, 2008 at 4:35 pm
We are new to all of this, with a LID of 7-17-07. Can anyone explain to me why the “reviewed through” date never seems to change? If there are any questions with our dossier, isn’t this where it would happen?
March 31st, 2008 at 4:43 pm
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
March 31st, 2008 at 4:44 pm
BTW, my NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO was in response to the rumor, not the question on the post before my post.
I can handle the 10th but NOT the 9th!
March 31st, 2008 at 4:49 pm
EEK! that would really suck!
I figured we had the 10th, was anyone seeing the 9th as the cutoff?
March 31st, 2008 at 4:50 pm
I am numb…….our LID is 1/10
March 31st, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Can things get any worse when it comes to China IA? Please don’t answer that question - LOL!
Denise
March 31st, 2008 at 4:55 pm
mom2LK
If it is true, still holding on that it might not be, then I am sorry. with a LID of 1/11 I am sure it hurts worst missing it by one day.
March 31st, 2008 at 4:58 pm
I know it isn’t over till its an r4 or r5…but it has the feel of reality.
A big congrats to my Jan 5-9 buds who are in!
You HAVE to post your baby pics so the rest of us can oooh and ahhh over your wee ones.
Tracy
LID 1-12-06
(I was hoping the cutoff would be at least 1-10 so I could confidently say “next”..but with my LID being so stinking big, I don’t feel I can.) :(
March 31st, 2008 at 5:00 pm
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
March 31st, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Not good news at all……..
March 31st, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Argggggh! :o(
March 31st, 2008 at 5:17 pm
How very frustrating…..
March 31st, 2008 at 5:35 pm
We are new to all of this, with a LID of 7-17-07. Can anyone
explain to me why the “reviewed through†date never
seems to change?
Oh My, well, well, welcome to our nightmare girlboehm!
It does change, yes it does, just verrrrry slowly. As you will learn reading this site.
March 31st, 2008 at 5:37 pm
The first sentance of my above comment is supposed to be a quote. from girlboehm
March 31st, 2008 at 5:40 pm
sentence…
I wish this feature had spell-check
March 31st, 2008 at 5:53 pm
To heck with my diet…..I just made a batch of chocolate chip cookies!
March 31st, 2008 at 5:54 pm
I’m in shock.
Off to the swearing & cussing thread.
Lisa
LID: 12.20.06
March 31st, 2008 at 6:05 pm
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND! IF THINGS ARE THAT BAD WHY ARE THEY STILL ACCEPTING NEW APPLICATIONS!!! IT MAKES NO SENSE!
March 31st, 2008 at 6:07 pm
I would love to say I’m surprised…but it is almost laughable at this point…I just don’t get it, 5 days would be pathetic! I mean seriously, 8,8,5,3…they seem like lottery numbers, not referrals. I’m at the point of hopelessness :(!!!!!!!
March 31st, 2008 at 6:18 pm
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
March 31st, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Sometimes I feel as if I’m on the TV show “Candid Camera.” Is this surreal or what?
March 31st, 2008 at 6:45 pm
5 DAYS !!! OHHH NO !!! I am SO disappointed :-(
R :-((((((((((
March 31st, 2008 at 6:47 pm
WE STARTED OUR HOMESTUDY ONE YEAR AGO AND OR LID IS 12 4 07. THE WAIT HAS WENT FROM 18 MTHS TO GOING ON 2 1/2 YRS. I WANT TO KNOW WHY THEY ARE STILL ACCEPTING NEW APPLICATIONS. I AM WONDERING NOW IF WE HAVE ANY CHANCE OF GETTING A CHILD FROM CHINA? : (
March 31st, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Oh boy another month of potentially a few days of matches. Our agency has said that if we are willing to wait we will eventually get a child-but at this rate with a LID of 12-11-06 we will have to wait 4 more years.
Oh I don’t even know what to say.
I just don’t understand what is going on and don’t think that there will ever be a speed up!
I think 5 day batches are here to stay!
March 31st, 2008 at 7:02 pm
5 days. Man. I am so sorry for all of you who are so close. That really stinks.
I asked my agency again today about the wait, since we are just starting this, and they said that the CCAA told them it would start to speed up January 2009. I know that’s not much help for most of you, but for those of us just starting this it is at least a little bit of hope that we can hold on to.
I also assume this is the reason they are still accepting applications. With the expectation of a speed up, they may not see it as irresponsible. That of course has yet to be decided.
March 31st, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Man that is the WORST. Makes me even happier I switched to the SN route!
March 31st, 2008 at 7:08 pm
WOW, I FEEL SICK………………. @!#$%^^&&%#@$ !!!!
March 31st, 2008 at 7:49 pm
RQ - how reliable is the agency saying 1/9? Are they usually right?
I sooooo hope this isn’t true
LID 1/16 and suddenly not so confident in my June prediction!
March 31st, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Didn’t we just have an agency reporting the 10th as the cut off? It would be nice to have some more info from other agencies, or better yet directly from the CCAA! I’m not sold on this one yet.
I can’t quite figure out why 5 days seems so much worse than 6, but it does for some reason.
March 31st, 2008 at 8:19 pm
okay, I know that the CCAA has repeatedly said that they aren’t closing their IA program, but isn’t this rate pretty much the same thing!? I guess I am just seriously thinking that yes, there are still children now but I am starting to wonder if they will close their program, or sorry just refer a very small number of children for IA after another year or so. What was the trend when this happened with Korea?
I just seriously have to wonder, when we have been in this for two years now, and are probably still at least another year away. Anyone else think this?
March 31st, 2008 at 8:23 pm
okay, my post didn’t work. I am just seriously thinking that even though the CCAA says that their IA program is not closing, it really appears to be at such as slow pace that they might as well! Anyone else have suspicions that even though we have been in this process for two years, that there may not be a baby at the end of this wait? Sorry to be negative, I just feel like the person on candid camera who keeps hoping, and then at the end they come out and say…Oops sorry!
March 31st, 2008 at 8:36 pm
I don’t know if there will be a baby at the end of all this….
…but I do know that at this point any promises made (about anything) are worthless.
March 31st, 2008 at 8:37 pm
This is my agency saying the 9th. I am confident they are correct. They have never reported something that is not true. I really hope they are wrong this time but I think that is wishful thinking.
March 31st, 2008 at 8:49 pm
….no one wants to know what I just said to myself as I read this and what I waved to the computer screen…the antispam word was “bottles”…the only bottle we will be seeing is that mighty fine wine bottle which I think I am going to have a drink from….ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
China you are bordering on the “ridiculous”"” beyond words…..come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 31st, 2008 at 8:58 pm
It just sort of hit me that it is April and we are only up to January 5th!!! I just don’t understand how China can continue at this pace. What will make January 2009 any different, is there a reason?
March 31st, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Wasn’t it a year ago that they were saying that there would be a speed-up (i.e. 2-week batches) in 2008? That certainly hasn’t happened yet. I can’t help hoping that we’ll be surprised, but I don’t think that we’ll be seeing a speed-up any time soon. I think they are saying what they think we want to hear.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Okay, I just keep coming back to this tonight…… VERY depressing. This is my agency as well, AND, they’ve been upfront and right on the money EVERY time………. hoping there is a first time for everything and that they are wrong in this instance, but somehow, my hopes are now dashed…
Heard some disturbing news reports tonight regarding the displacement of over a million people from demolishing their homes for this darn Olympics…… it will be amazing if it actually doesn’t get totally demonstrated to bits……..
So getting tired of this wait…….
March 31st, 2008 at 9:47 pm
I know this may not be of any comfort to those of you waiting and I only had to wait 2 years (which seemed like forever then). But, when you do get your referral you will feel like this mountain you are climbing is just a grain of sand. I know that seems crazy and you all will have to wait much longer than I had to but it does happen and the day it happens is amazing. I am so sorry for the heartache, I remember it well. Hang in there, you will make it! I promise.
Adomom
March 31st, 2008 at 9:49 pm
o nooooooooo,i cant wait another month for my
sweet baby
lid January 12.
i hope April go fast
Ciro and Mary
March 31st, 2008 at 9:56 pm
I am so sorry for those of you that missed the cut off (if it truly is the 9th) We missed the cut off in Nov. by 1 day. It is hard, but you know you are next and can spend the “extra” month getting ready to go!There is no wondering if your next.I am thrilled for all the precious little ones that are soon to be with their mommies and daddies.The wait is so hard, I know.You will get your perfect child ,he or she will be the match made in heaven, just right for your family.It will happen,the babies are there, the program will continue and one day you will get your special baby!
March 31st, 2008 at 10:42 pm
You’ve got to stop hoping for a speed up. It isn’t going to happen for a LONG, LONG time… if ever.
5 days LIDs sucks, but it could be worse… wasn’t it last April that it was only 2 days?
March 31st, 2008 at 11:30 pm
adomom:
Thanks for the encouraging words. Yes, I sometimes doubt that I will get to hold a little one again. There is also hope. We need those encouraging words to keep it alive! LID 8/10/06
April 1st, 2008 at 2:02 am
On the 28th of march 2006, the referrals were 5 days including a weekend (from 05-26-2005 -> 05-30-2005) so 3 working days.
Last year - and omg I remember it so clear - on the 9th of april, the referrals covered 2 days (25 and 26 october 2005) ! I cried for an entire week.
I will not be surprised with a 5 days (3 working days) batch !
Don’t forget the bitter winter… and the consequences for the children in the swi.
Hold on !
Iseirinne
Anti-spam word is Jiangxi, the province our sweet Lilly comes from !
April 1st, 2008 at 2:34 am
Anyone else get the feeling that 2008 is going to be a looooooooong &^*%$# year at this ridiculous rate?
Big, deep, heavy sigh………..
April 1st, 2008 at 2:45 am
Can’t say I would be surprised! I knew not to get so excited. With this news I am glad we had our fingerprints redone again yesterday. The worst part is, if we get a referral in May we would travel in June, my daughter and I will miss the family vacation and she will miss her week of summer camp. Ever feel like everytime you feel like youre getting closer the rug gets pulled from under you? Now we are getting way to close to the olympics and I suppose the fee’s for everything get to go up a little more.
April 1st, 2008 at 4:47 am
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Bottle of wine and chocolate sound good right now.
It will be interesting to see how many hurt parents in waiting pull out again this month. Maybe rather than LID dates there could be a withdrawl poll? It’s seems to be getting this way and I’m not trying to be smart or sarcastic either. There must be so many parents to be ahead through to 2007 who are really having to make some painful decisions.
April 1st, 2008 at 5:26 am
I posted the following in the Sept. 2006 room several weeks ago.
“Our agency called (several weeks ago now) to tell us that with a September 2006 LID, it is unlikely we will get a child from China unless we agree to go SN. In fact, they are in the process of transitioning their China program into one that in the future will be exclusively SN. I’ve tried to make clear in past postings that behind the scenes, our agency is not typical - in that it has been aware from the beginning of the slowdown what was going to happen to China IA. Behind the scenes they are your basic international NGO with close ties to the State Dept. and China’s Ministry of Civil Affairs. In fact - they have contracts related to China’s foster care operations. Protecting their own interests in China came at the expense of being honest with their clients who continued to submit dossiers for children that had very little chance of ever being referred. It’s not a pretty picture. But - it is what it is. We were able to get our money back — when our agency realized that we pretty much had them by the throat.”
April 1st, 2008 at 7:28 am
Chinasyndrome you keep saying this and its quite unsettling.
Its the 3rd time now that you’ve posted this.
As you know lots of us have no access to the sn route, so therefore what you are saying is we wont get a referral.
Now i am trying to be as positive as I can, with a Sept 06 LID
So for once and all spell it out if you know something concrete. Is it youre agency not accepting NSN or is is CCAA
We need to know.
April 1st, 2008 at 7:37 am
Chinasyndrome,
Now, THAT is an eye-opener……For anyone LID close to you waiting in the NSN line, I fear for you!!!!
We should be in the next batch (May), but even so, I hold my breath b/c with China anymore, you never know what could happen next…especially with the olympics so close.
April 1st, 2008 at 8:18 am
Well well well, here we go again, so what line of _ _ _ _ will we hear from CCAA this time on why this is a small batch. I look back on it now some 27 months since we went to contract and now in the middle of month 18 lid and I wish we never went the China route. This has been a living hell, and please for all the parents who have come home years ago with there child and say, ” when you hold that child in your arms you will forget all about this wait”, STOP I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I dont wish this nightmare on anyone…
Thank you for letting me vent, but I am not dealing with this to well…
April 1st, 2008 at 8:32 am
We had a REALLY bad time this past month, came very close to switching programs (actually started the paperwork); but our hearts wouldn’t let us do it. Somehow, our faith was restored; and we knew we had to wait for our daughter, THIS daughter, in China. I like to believe that it was her, living in our hearts, asking us not to give up on her.
Jan 9th cutoff was devastating news, for those next on the list and for those (like us) whose referral is years away. But we can’t give up. Take a day (or a week) to cry, get angry, drink! :) They’re valid feelings, and we’re only human. But then try really hard to get your faith back. There WILL be a baby at the end of it all.
Feb 07 LID
April 1st, 2008 at 8:37 am
Chinasyndrome,
This is what your agency is telling you and which kind of interest it has. Most of the time I read your comments it is always so negative…. We are the ones trying to build or complete our families, and the agencies are being “paid” for their services, did you get what I mean?
And for the families receiving their referrals this month, congratulations!
April 1st, 2008 at 8:44 am
cab21404-
It’s okay to vent. It’s obvious that you’re having a terribly hard time with this, and my heart goes out to you. When is your LID? Sept 06? (I’m trying to count back 18 months.)
Talk to your social worker. Maybe a doing a concurrent adoption would be wonderful for you. We were looking at Ethiopia, and the cost for the concurrent was minimal (about $400). Find out what your options are. I’ve met quite a few families who started with China, switched programs, and now have beautiful little babies at home (from another country). Keep your heart open, and talk to your agency. That’s what you’re paying them for.
April 1st, 2008 at 8:50 am
hey chinasyndrome,stop making people feel bad about there lid of sept06 and after. i have a sept 06 lid and now it is almost 19 months of waiting. do you think you are so smart that you know all of this for sure? don’t post what you just think you know. you are a very negative person about this.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:00 am
Hang in there folks. Right now, it’s still just a rumor. I hope hope hope it’s wrong. But just, don’t jump off any bridges yet. Ok guys? You CAN DO THIS!
Hugs to everyone!!
April 1st, 2008 at 9:02 am
RUMOR QUEEN:
What would you think the possibility of the 1/12 folks or 1/13 folks making it next month would be?
April 1st, 2008 at 9:09 am
First of all please don’t flame me. I am only a grandma that is currently in China with an adoptive SN child. The guide for our grandchild agency told us again (and we know this) there are various types of orphanages and so many are “town’ orphanages with people that are not prepared to get children paper ready. If some how these people could be trainehd or have the time to prepare children more children could find their forever family.
We have 5 grandchildren adopted from China 2 NSN and 3 SN….each one is precious. Please let yourself consider a SN. many agencies you will be able to choose your child. At least you will be able to specify the needs that you feel comfortable with. Our NSN children have health issues too. Many SNs have vary minor needs or are older children.
Best wishes to you all. You will be thrilled when you receive your referral and meet your SN child. Jan
April 1st, 2008 at 9:12 am
cab21404-
This has obviously been terribly hard on you, and my heart goes out to you. Maybe that’s where I get some of my faith for this adoption - it’s our second from China, and we know what waits at the end. But even we thought about switching programs.
Maybe it would make you feel better to look at your options, talk to your social worker, check out concurrent adoption possibiilties. A lot of families have done so, and now have beautiful little babies at home. For us, money was an issue…we have none :)…so Ethiopia was a good fit. And for us, looking at our options brought us back to China and helped us feel committed again.
Whatever the outcome, I really think it would help you to empower yourself and see if you have other options. It sounds like not having any control over this is really weighing on you. Either way, you’re going to find you way to your child (and, YES, it WILL be worth it!).
Hang in there.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:27 am
All I can say is that I’m really XXX###@@@!!! off is this is true. They are supposed to be giving us bigger batches this year, and the CCAA is rumoured to have told some big US agencies to tell your clients to hang in there, but at this rate, they are really annoying me.
My LID is April 11, 2006 and instead of a 6-9 month wait it will be a 3+year wait, which is ridiculous given the number of babies waiting in China for mum’s and dad’s.
I just want to give up at this point! Boo! Hoo!
April 1st, 2008 at 9:35 am
Hey, folks, don’t shoot the messenger here. Chinasyndrome is just repeating what her agency has told her. Burying your heads in the sand or attacking Chinasyndrome isn’t going to make what she is saying any less true. The times, they are a changin . . .
April 1st, 2008 at 9:44 am
I know this is no consolation, but I would not panic at this point. April referrals have been VERY small for the past couple years. I think it has been theorized that this was due to orpanage workers being on vacation and not available to prepare baby dossiers. I am sure the snow storm may have affected their ability to work on paperwork too as they had to focus on keeping the babies warm and fed. Everyone (except Chinasyndrome) has repeatedly said there would be a baby at the end if we are willing to wait.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:52 am
My Agency keeps pressuring me to renew all our Expired paperwork for a Late March LID. I’ve been dragging my feet watching the rate of referalls. At the present rate + the Olympics I still feel all my paperwork will run-out again, and will need to renew ($,$$$) everything again.
Opinions Please.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:58 am
“chinasyndrome Says”
I would venture to guess that any responible agency should have to say what they are saying. There are still 20,000 people in line for NSN placments and for an ajency to take any more dossiers and not push SN without a disclaminer is “criminal”.
Looks like you have an agency that has accepted the reality of the situation - reluctantly.
April 1st, 2008 at 10:01 am
My agency recently reported after a trip to China that China does not anticipate a speed up in this program nor do they have any plans to close the program. If willing to wait then a baby will be forthcoming. The improving economy in China makes it possible for more families to adopt domestically leading to fewer NSN babies available. There are more SN children available for IA and fewer NSN. I don’t think this is new news but wanted to post to counter what chinasyndrome is posting.
My best wishes to all of you who continue to wait. My heart is with you - I know how very difficult this is.
Beth
LID 1/4/6
April 1st, 2008 at 10:03 am
Chinasyndrome-
I’m curious, did you find another agency to work with? Are you still in the process of adopting? I’m hoping that you just had a bad experience with one atypical agency and that you didn’t let it discourage you from building your family through adoption.
April 1st, 2008 at 10:04 am
I have to chime in here with SHERRY IN VERMONT. We have been LID for 27 months now and do you know how many “rumors” (not official from RQ) we’ve heard about a speed up? PLEASE… for the sake of your own sanity… do not bank on these rumors of a speed up happening _____ or _____. When we began our paperchase referrals were coming in 5-6 months from LID. Over the course of the past two years the wait has increased & increased & increased… and despite MANY whisperings of a speed up it has never come to fruition. NEVER! You have good months (8 or 9 days) and then you have horrible months (2-3 days.) It is just the new normal for China. Could it change? Sure… anything is possible. But just don’t count on it. Don’t be shocked or disappointed month after month when they do what they have been doing now for almost 2 years. I’m with ya’ll who don’t want the “when you hold that baby in your arms” speech. It’s very sweet & I’m sure it’s true. So I’m trying to give it to you straight… especially for ya’ll who are new to this. Unless things change radically (like they did for us for the worse) you’re in for a very, very long wait. It’s not going to be easy, but for us, we decided it was worth it.
April 1st, 2008 at 10:08 am
What is a international NGO? Chinasyndrome mentioned it his post.
Thanks.
April 1st, 2008 at 10:21 am
Sending positive and happy vibes to all waiting for their child~ This definately is not a easy journey. But I am believing their will be a child waiting for us in the end. I have to believe this:)
My hubby and I talked about invitro. But came back to the conclusion that our baby girl is over in China waiting for us. WIth a May 12,2006 LID we are not giving up on her yet~
Please Chinasyndrome keep the negative comments to yourself. I almost gasped when I read your post. We are all trying to stay positive here.
We can’t all get a SN child. For us it just can’t happen. So please quit bringing it up. It would be much appreciated for all of us hopeful parents:)
Big Hugs to all of you~
April 1st, 2008 at 10:26 am
I personally think that Chinasyndrome’s posts are worth listening to even if you don’t like what is being said. Unfortunately she has been right so far on the slowdown. Am hoping she is wrong on this particular issue though.
April 1st, 2008 at 10:30 am
I’m one of those people giving the “when you hold the baby in your arms” speech :) And, in all honesty, knowing firsthand what waits at the end of all this is an incredible help in maintaining hope through it all. I want so badly to be able to share that with those having the hardest time. When I start to lose faith in this adoption (LID Feb 07), I look to my first daughter to keep me going. I try to remind myself what I would have done to bring her home had it been this difficult that time around.
April 1st, 2008 at 10:38 am
All Chinasyndrome is doing is reporting what her agency said. How is that being too “negative?” Why should she keep that information to herself when RQ is a site about rumors, including the info (whether right or wrong) that agencies give to their clients?
I, for one, appreciate her post on what her agency said.
April 1st, 2008 at 10:40 am
An NGO is a non-government organization.
To all of you sticking with the NSN program, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about staying with it. I know that whomever posted asking you to please consider an SN child meant it very positively so I am not trying to say anything bad about her plea. I have two SN kiddos and I agree that they are amazing and I can’t imagine not having them. However, every family knows what is right for them. Rushing to adopt a child with a special need because its faster, or because you feel guilty, or because you want to save them won’t do anyone any favors. I have seen too many families switch to SN and then leave the child because they realized it would be too much for their family, finances or schedules to handle. Of course, this can happen in NSN adoptions too, I’m not saying it doesn’t. I’m just saying that every family needs to decide and come to terms with what they can honestly handle and stick to it. If you decide to adopt again perhaps you’ll feel more comfortable going another route, perhaps you won’t, but its a decision that only you can make for yourself.
My thoughts are with you all who are waiting.
April 1st, 2008 at 11:16 am
Hopes and dreams………when you started your homestudy the wait for YOU was not 18 months.
That time quotes was for the people going to China……how long THEY waited.
the pathetic truth here is the “current time frame” agencies quote
means absolutely nothing to the person inquiring!!!
IMO this………is the greatest deception.
Most of us newbies had no clue………and there was the
a ha! moment when we realized this is the miserable scenario.
When we logged in the wait was quoted as 8 months…….because people in China waited 8 months
but the reality is that China stopped doing full month batches a few months prior……..that pattern would have shown me……..we had 16 months to go, not 8.
unfortunately it has gotten much much worse.
April 1st, 2008 at 11:26 am
I think Chinasyndrome is well within her rights to report what she has heard or what she believes. Just because it isn’t what we want to hear doesn’t mean it isn’t worth reporting or mentioning. I like to read her information. I agree with a lot of it but not all. Personally I do not think China will close their doors to nsn adoptions any time soon. I do think it will continue to slow down but not shut down. I share her views regarding agencies and share her anger and frustration.
I have a hard time understanding why many people try to shut down others who have news that is not what they want to hear. I have a harder time understanding why many try to shut down those who are angry or may vent frustrations about the process, agencies etc.. Anger is not bad, although our society likes to make us feel as if it is and should not be expressed. It is a normal, healthy, human emotion. It should be okay for people to express that emotion. It is what one does with anger that can be harmful. I’m more concerned about the person who never shows any anger and keeps saying everything is fine and then one day goes crazy and everyone is surprised and shocked because the person always seemed happy and in control.
I find zero support in my DTC group regarding this issue. It seems that the only posts acceptable are the ones that are cheery and encouraging and often predicting referrals to arrive at very unlikely timeframes. Any posts indicating anger, frustration or more realistic timeline predictions are met with silence if you are lucky or just down right rudeness and hostility.
just my .02
April 1st, 2008 at 11:37 am
I in no way meant to sound harsh about Chinasyndromes post. Hopefully I didn’t come across like that.
I guess it just took me by surprise when the comment was made about September. That if you have a lid around then that you will more than likely not get a child unless you go SN route.
I appreciate any info I can get. I just think that rumor is a hard one to swallow. And I am trying to be optomistic.
Believe me I have had some very difficult moments in this process. And yes, I have been very sad at times. Not necessarily angry. But hubby on the other hand, I think he has been a bit angry.
Anyway…..I do appreciate the rumors.
April 1st, 2008 at 11:44 am
I’m so sorry, all. With a Sept. 2006 LID, I reluctantly gave up on China in January 2008 after a lot of thought, and applied to a new country (former Soviet republic). I have found that even though my heart was totally in China as many of you say, it IS possible to change your heart. Now my heart truly is in my new country as well, as I learn all about it, study the language, etc. I’m now at the top of my new agency’s list for a referral of a healthy infant girl, in less than 4 months (and I’m 50 and single). So there are other programs out there if you’re feeling despair! (Still, I’m feeling a bit angry and sad about China.) Take care. If I had a Jan. or Feb. 2006 LID, I’d definitely be hanging in there!
April 1st, 2008 at 12:14 pm
chinasyndrome - my agency is the largest and most well-connected and we have discussed this issue over and over again. i have a sept 06 lid. the wait time will lengthen, they say. but there will be a baby if we are patient.
we have a daughter from china who is the life force herself. i would wait a dozen years for her, and i will wait that long for her sister if i have to.
we have also talked to our agency about switching to SN and have been actively discouraged. china, and at least my agency, DON’T want people switching because they’re impatient. i think that’s a good thing.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:02 pm
HELLO BUZZ BUZZ.DO YOU HAVE YOUR TAXES DONE YET? I’M STILL VERY BUSY,ANOTHER 10 DAYS OR SO.
April 1st, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Oldie_Parent-
I’m sorry, I must have missed that day in geography :) What is the former Soviet Republic? Is it Russia? I know, I know, I’m horrible at geography!
That’s wonderful that you’ll be getting your baby soon! Did you request a baby girl? Congratulations on finding your way to your child.
April 1st, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Sorry, FindingHope. I should have said a republic of the former Soviet Union to be more clear. According to Wikipedia, there were 15 Soviet republics. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Republics_of_the_Soviet_Union
Yes, I requested a baby girl! Thanks. When there’s a will, there’s a way!
April 1st, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Oldie_parent -
Please share any info you have, if you can. I think most people are under the impression that Russia has mostly boys and that parents over 45 have to be open to an older child. You may open up some hope for some families considering a concurrent adoption.
Thanks, and best wishes.
April 2nd, 2008 at 10:32 am
Hi FindingHope, I’m adopting from the Kyrgyz Republic! There are about 7 agencies working there now. It’s a very small country (5 million, about 1/3 the pop. of Shanghai), so wait time will probably grow as more move over to it from other countries. Not yet a completely standardized process; each agency has different wait times, different travel lengths, some different dossier docs. required, different costs, etc., so it’s worth talking to a few. Two agencies (the only 2 I talked to) told me that age 50 for an infant is no problem. Lots of singles are adopting from there.
I heard that Russia is moving pretty quickly now too, since accreditations have come through. When I was first researching countries, 3-4 years ago, I was scared away from Russia, but now, I would be open to that country too. I think with good evaluations of the medical reports, you can get a great kid, and if you’re open to Russians with Asian ethnicity, it can be quite fast! Kaz. would be great too, but the travel time is atrocious, and dossier requirements sound horrendous.
There are 2 Kyrgyzstan adoption yahoo groups, one big one, and one for singles, where you can get great info.
Anyway, for me, switching was not just for maintaining mental sanity or due to being impatient, it was because I am ready to start being a mother this year and my age and my boyfriend’s age make it unrealistic to wait until 2010-2011. Having lived with constant anticipation since 2006, I just can’t imagine going through it for 2+ more years.
Here’s to hoping that we all find a path to parenthood that feels “right”, given the circumstances.